The Dentist Office (short)

My routine was always the same, which was going to school and walking home from school. I would always stay on the same sidewalk as I walked home. And every time, I would see the old, wooden door waiting for me. This door had been sitting there for a while in fact, and had never changed. It always had its distinctive chipped red paint, rusty doorknob, and faded letters that no human-eye could ever read. Although intriguing, no teenager ever dared to enter the door, due to urban legend that an old man would kidnap you if you even touched the doorknob.

Today was a typical Tuesday. I would sit in AP Human Geography bored out of my mind, hear the cry of freedom, and leave. However, something seemed off today. As I walked down the same, boring sidewalk, something caught my eye. The ominous door was different today. Instead of its same, worn down facade, there was something new. It was a fresh note, that read: 

We all love a mystery. I'm unlocked. Open me.

My first reaction was to walk away briskly, and let the fear swarm over me like a tidal wave; however, curiosity got the better of me. As I made my way toward the door, my brain immediately stopped me.

"What am I doing?" I asked myself. The first rule I had ever learned since I was... capable to comprehend important life rules, was that you should never enter a creepy building. This was in all the movies. This sign seemed to be calling to me, however. I raised my hand and curled my slender fingers around the rusted doorknob, slowly letting it turn to the left. At last, the door swung open, along with its screech of agony. I heaved in the sweet outside air, and walked into the room.

I was first welcomed by a bright, blinding light and cool air,  and then the objects in the room began to take shape...

I was standing in a dentist's office.

"What the-"

"Welcome," a monotonous voice called. "It is so nice to have a visitor."

My eyes, swarmed by awe, flickered up to see a slender woman in small blue scrubs. Her hair was a straight chestnut brown, and her eyes were brown and glassy. "It is so nice to have a visitor," she spoke once again.

"What the hell is this place?" I asked her, trying my best to be formidable.

The woman didn't seem to understand my question, and blinked.

I let out a sigh, and asked again with less force, "where am I?"

The woman's red lipstick coated lips curved into a smile. "Why," she started, "you're here for dental extraction."

"Dental extraction...?" I repeated in confusion, but then it hit me.

This woman was going to pull my teeth.

This was a mistake. I've got to get out of here.

It was too late. When I turned around, it was almost like the door didn't even exist. I let out cry of fear, and my heart began to race. Turning back around, I heard the woman speak.

"You're the first visitor we've had in a while," she pleasantly informed.

I didn't reply. Tears started to stream down my red cheeks as I scanned the room for another escape. I felt myself fall through an endless abyss full of fear and agony. The woman let out a chuckle, and motioned her hand toward the left.

"Right this way," she said.

I quivered, and my feet began to move before my mind allowed it to happen. I felt my life flash before my eyes as I walked down the empty hallway behind the woman. Before I knew it, I was standing in a room with white walls and white-tiled floor. And in the center was a gray chair, with leather wrist straps. The chair seemed to beckon me forward, although my mind told me to back away and shriek in hope that someone from the outside world would hear my cries. The woman stopped next to the chair, and suddenly was holding rusted pliers with a mask on her face.

"Look," I squeaked, trying to sound confident, "I really don't need my teeth pulled-"

"Silence," she commanded, and motioned me to sit down.

And there I was, sitting in the chair that would lead me to my death.

The woman bent over me, her eyes now piercing into me. She lifted up the weapon of fear in her right hand, and lowered it into my mouth. My mind didn't seem to protest, and let her fasten the plier onto my back molar.

"Trust me," she breathed, "this will hurt a lot."

Before I could scream in agony, everything went black.

-

My body jerked up faster than lightning, and cold sweat was dripping down my forehead. My brown blanket was thrown off my comfortable bed, and bright, natural light streamed through my window. I let out a sigh of relief, and brushed my hand over my soaked face.

I am never taking that way to school again.

Mom walked in, throwing a blue sweater and gray jeans onto the rolling purple chair in front of my bed. "Get up. We're going at nine," she ordered , and left.

I forced my body to drag itself out of the comforts of my bed, and pull on the clothes Mom had laid out for me. I slugged into the bathroom and carelessly brushed my disgusting teeth, and slowly made my way down the stairs. Mom was already waiting at the front door, a bottle of apple juice in one hand, and a banana in the other. "We can get something after you're done," she said, and opened the front door.

I let the cool fall breeze slither through my hair as we walked down the sidewalk. I was silent the whole time, partly because my mind was still in shock from the horrifying nightmare I had just endured.

Mom seemed to notice. "What's wrong? You don't seem too good," she asked  thoughtfully.

"I feel kind of nauseated, can we skip the appointment today?"

"Can't. You know we have to squeeze this in before you start school in two weeks," Mom replied.

I did not answer her reply. As we turned the corner, I could see the flashing sign that informed passing citizens that appointments were half off. We arrived at the glass door, and Mom pushed it open with ease. A rush of cool air swarmed me as we walked into the office. The smell of mint and tobacco burned my nose.

"Clarissa, so nice to see you again," the front desk lady said, a smile stretched across her face.

"Hey Sonya," Mom beamed. "Is she almost ready?"

"Yep, I believe she is finishing up with her patient," Sonya replied. "I understand this is a new dentist for you, because Oscar left. Don't worry, she's a doll." Sonya's whole face scrunched up as she smiled.

Sonya's bright eyes flickered over to me. "Macy, how are you sweetie?"

"Good," I shyly replied, my face turning crimson.

Sonya let out a laugh. "I understand you're nervous today. Don't worry,  getting your molar pulled is nothing to worry about. You won't even feel it!"

I nodded, but my mind ignored her "reassuring" words. As Mom checked me in, I noticed the back door swing open.

In front of me was a slender woman with straight chestnut brown hair and brown eyes. Her plump, red lipstick coated lips formed into a smile.

"Welcome," she greeted, "it is so nice to see you."

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
maishaywca
Review

Hey there.

Your story is awesome. You are a very good writer. I liked the story very much.(Though I am really don't like to go dentists!)

I liked the way you proceed. Honestly, I would love to see this story as a telefilm, you know I like horror films...you can say I really loved it!

But you could have broadened it by telling more about Macy. Like what she looked like or how she walked or her life...

Hope to hear more from you. Keep it up!

Okay, D A N G.

That was incredible.

I am a sucker for horror and gore, and this seemed to hit the spot dead on as it came back around, full-circle, and I'm really happy with the way it progressed. It was a really nice read and fun to piece together, especially with the creepy house being tossed in, (I.E., not just starting the dream in a dentist's office, instead, showing us a little more about Macy's life and what goes on around her). The house was a great vehicle for that beginning twist, and I loved it!

Happy writing!

-Savannah

Oh my goodness thank you so much! It is so nice to see heart-warming comments like this, it really boosts my confidence :) .

User avatar
Lacy Review
Lacy wrote a review · Sat Mar 10, 2018 12:21 pm

I really liked this story! It was creative, with good vocabulary and I thought it was excellently described. However, of course, I do have some constructive criticizm for you.
Like I said, I really liked it, although perhaps it could flow a little more so that your reader can really get into it. This is a minor thing, but it may do as something to improve your story. Also, I look forwards to reading more of your work in the future! :)

Thank you so much! Yeah, flow is a problem I have with my writing. I guess just need to write more to get better at it :)

You're welcome! And everyone has problems with writing, although, judging by your above comment, you are aware of that already! XD



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