All the students knew what was happening today.
They couldn't hide, could't fake it.
All they could do was sit there and pray.
The quiet student was silently talking to the misfit,
the misfit weirdly staring at the jock,
the jock dashingly flirting with the girl,
and the girl bashing her head with a rock.
Why was today such whirl?
Alas, today was the algebra quiz..
And no one here,
not even the math whiz,
was prepared for such a scare...
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139,211 Literary Works • 672,511 Reviews
Hey, Dogs here for a review!
So this poem was really good, but there were a few errors I'm going to point out to you to help you in the future, then we'll talk more about what was perfect about the poem!
1) You accidentally misspelled couldn't (you missed the n)
2) I just have a quick question. Why would the quiet kid be talking to someone if they're "quiet." I know it's the day of the big quiz, but you would think the quiet kid would still be quiet because he'd be nervous right. Maybe it just me, but I interpret quiet kids (especially before a quiz/test) to not really talk much to anyone.
Anyway that's all the errors I really noticed, so now let's talk about the poem overall!
Overall, your poem is super cute, and really good, aside from all the errors. I really liked it especially the end where no one is prepared for the quiz (i feel like that's me in math XD)
Anyway great poem, I really liked it!
Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs
i love the line where it says she's bashing her head with a rock. I can relate. Be it guys, algebra, or both, thats a mood. Also the use of high school stereotypes is great. And good job keeping the rhyme scheme going too.
Hey there Shootingmoons,
Myjaspercat here to leave you a review.
1)Line-by-line/Nit-picks
2)Formatting and punctuation
I just have two brief things to mention here. First, I don't know if you have the extra space between the lines for a reason, but sometimes it can be a little off putting to the reader to see all that white space. It also cleans up a piece when the lines are together. If you have the extra space for a reason, then by all means leave it there. If you have the extra space cause you don't know how to start a new line without it, all you have to do is hit "shift+enter" instead of just "enter."
Second, I don't personally like the punctuation at the end of every line. Remember that in poetry, even structured poetry, there doesn't have to be punctuation at the end of every single line. Sometimes to much punctuation can drag a piece down and make it lag a bit. Just be careful with that.
3)Overall opinions
For the most part you have a pretty cute and solid piece here. There's just a few places where I would personally tweak the work but that is all up to you. If you have any questions please feel free to leave them and I will answer to the best of my ability. Good luck and continue writing.