I was awaken as soon as I jumped into the icy blue lake. My overweight dog Fluffy ran up the stairs as soon as I finished tip-toeing to the bathroom. As I got to the bathroom, I found it odd that there was no a single sound downstairs. I didn't remember anyone talking about going anywhere, but then again, I don't remember much after Alyssa left yesterday. I washed my hands and face after using the toilet and out of nowhere Fluffy jumped on me. I fell to the ground with a hard thump; I think he wants his food.
"Well someone sure is hungry"
"Bark!" Fluffy flew down the stairs toward his bowl.
I eyed an orange note on my parent's door from upstairs. I walked down the stairs and grabbed the note.
"Dear Johnny,
When you will have read this, we will be gone. We didn't want to wake you for Hugh's soccer game since you were snoring away peacefully. Just make sure to feed Fluffy, and if you leave the house, give us some way of message knowing it. Congratulations on your win at the surfing tournament! We all love you!"
I had completely forgotten about Hugh's game. I'll have to make it up to him by going to the next game. I went to the kitchen, and threw the note away. I fed Fluffy his brown and green fist-sized dog food, and read the time. 11:11 am. I'm up early on a Saturday. BAM! Fluffy had slammed into the door. I laughed and let him outside. Today is an odd day, Fluffy doesn't usually act this wild unless he's in a good mood, and I never wake up before twelve on Saturdays.
"What did you do Marcus?"
"What? Wh-Who's there?" Where did that strange voice come from? No one was home.
"Nothing Rose. It just seems the program is having a minor glitch."
I ran around the house, upstairs and down. Where did those voices come from? No one was home, am I dreaming? Fluffy began to scratch on the door. I peeked outside, the weather had turned wacky. It was snowing, sunny, and warm outside. This has to be a dream! How could any of all this happen? I decided to change around the house again. Nothing, only Fluffy and myself. Could this be a joke, or was it just a dream? I became sleepy after I blinked.
"Anyone here?" I asked. No answer.
"Ok. This is just a dream and now I'm going back to sleep." I walked up the stairs and got into my bed. It was just a dream.
- - -
"Fix the glitch Marcus! I can't make him repeat this day over again."
"Fine, but please relax Rose. It was a simple glitch, nothing big."
"Thank you. Now what should he dream of this time?"
"Hm. Make him dream about his dog Fluffy and Alyssa; something happy."
- - -
I ignored this strange conversion in my head and shut my eyes. What a strange dream. Before I had time to think again, I was on the beach with Alyssa and Fluffy on a bright summer's day.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,249 Literary Works • 674,329 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Well this was a really interesting premise that you've got here. You're leaving some pretty chilling hints spread out throughout the story and its definitely very creepy to see how this person's actions and even dreams are being directly manipulated by someone else.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well that was a somewhat confusing start there. So much information seems to be relayed through it that I'm just lost as to what exactly we are meant to absorb from it. Its just a bit too much a bit too fast especially if you're including all of that stuff in a first paragraph.
Okay try as I might I cannot imagine the logistics of where exactly this note is and how he managed to spot it. Maybe I just don't see it but could you perhaps make this a little bit clearer than this.
Well that was a nice not there. Definitely seems like a typical note that parents might leave.
Well those are some pretty interesting details that you've decided to drop right there. Its certainly spicing up the plot a bit as to what exactly this might mean.
I love how you build tension here and the thoughts that you've presented of this protagonist are just really nice to see here. Its definitely feels very realistic and that's certainly quite nice to see.
Oooh interesting thing to add there. What a chilling ending there. I'm getting some pretty crazy vibes from this one. It seems like its a super cool premise, maybe not the most original at least for the time I am from where this idea has been used several times but still a pretty cool take on it that you've come up with here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall this was a pretty cool little short story. It had very little happening but I felt like the premise and how you described things really made it have quite a large impact as a story. Great Job!!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
A pair of unusual strange caring parents right? Rose = his mom. Marcus = his dad. All will be explained in time. . . : )