Walking past gravestones whose names I’ve never read, I’ve always stopped in front of this certain one for two years straight.
Her name was Selene. And we’ve never met.
She was my roommate for six months but I never saw her. Like I said, she was the moon. I had a job starting at eight in the morning and she would usually arrive at the apartment at nine. She would go to her night job at seven, I’d get home at seven thirty. On the weekends, she would go home to the countryside to stay at her parents’ house while I stayed at the apartment cleaning up.
Having a roommate but never having met them would make anyone curious, right? If not, then at least I was one of the few. So I took the initiative and left little sticky notes on the refrigerator asking how she’s been. It’s the one thing both of us would go to every single day.
The next day, I got a reply. And that’s when the back-and-forth leaving of notes started.
Then one day, I finally had the courage to ask her to meet up on a weekend. She agreed and I waited for her inside this homely little cafe just down the street.
I waited and I waited. The sun was already down and she still hasn’t come so I figured she went straight to the apartment. I came there to find no note on the fridge and no sign of her going out before I did.
Bored and disappointed out of my mind, I watched the television and saw the news of a woman getting run over by a car. Her name was Selene. I’ve never met her but I knew her. I stood up and ran to the hospital where she was taken to.
When I got there, I saw her parents. They looked so pale and so stressed. I figured I wouldn’t be of any help to them since I wasn’t at the scene to begin with so I left.
A day later, the police showed up and informed me of her passing. I already knew, of course. I wanted to meet her and now I’ll never get the pleasure.
Two weeks after, I remembered she told me her parents’ address and I went to them, saying I was her roommate. They welcomed me, inviting me over for dinner. They told me where she was buried and asked if I could take some flowers over to where she rested.
I agreed and bought some from a flower store. Lilies and tulips and carnations and roses.
Walking past gravestones whose names I’ve never read, I've stopped in front of this certain one for two years straight.
Her name was Selene. But we’ve never met.
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140,103 Literary Works • 673,002 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This story is oddly simply, but surprisingly powerful somehow. I don't quite know why it has so much of an effect on me but it really does and it makes for a very intriguing read here.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...this is an interesting start here. For starters, this person being dead right at the very beginning makes things very interesting, because that isn't a direction you see too often unless there is some ghostly situation that's about to come down. Then of course the whole roommates that have never met each other situation happens to be even more interesting, so....well, let's see where this goes.
Oh dear...well I have a feeling I know exactly where this particular one is going...if they truly did never meet. I suppose this is one with the ol' sad ending then, although the sticky note situation did make for a pretty cute little plot point, I have actually seen that before in a couple of stories, although they were a lot happier than this.
Well that is quite something, and there's just this odd sense of sadness somehow, even though we no this is a person that neither this main character nor we have ever met. I think the simple idea of a young life being lost with no one there in her final moments is perhaps what's causing it, but there is a really interesting sense of sadness you manage to conjure up here.
This story simply feels oddly powerful here. That's all I can really see, especially with this ending. I don't know, there's just a sense of sadness that manages to encompass you as a reader even though its such a simple plot. I think you've really done a great job here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, I think you've got a pretty neat piece right here and it just gives you the feels somehow. That's a job pretty well done I think.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Wow, I... really liked this. This just goes to show that you can never wait too long to reach out, to ask to meet, because one day, it could it all end.
I especially liked the little detail about how the first two sentences are the same as the last, and how everything makes so much more sense when you reach them again. I know that probably happens in a lot of books, but I just really liked it in here.
My only nitpick is about the notes. I wish you would’ve gone into more detail about what they wrote about. It would’ve been a great way to give us a little more information about the characters.
Overall, I just really loved this story, and I hope you keep up the great work!
Thank you sooooo much for the review! It makes me really happy that you loved this story of mine and I'll try to keep at it!
I guess I could have written more about who they are, that's my bad... ^w^;;
But again, thank you!!! <3 <3 <3
Okay, this is awesome.
I loved the story. It really grabbed my attention, and the writing had an amazing flow to it. It had a mysterious quality to it, and I couldn't stop reading.
The only mistakes I could find were a couple commas missing, like when you say "...left little sticky notes on the refrigerator asking how she's been", you should add a comma after refrigerator. And "then one day" should be "then, one day". Also, "bored and disappointed out of my mind" is slightly wordy, maybe change this.
Other than that, awesome story. Cheers!
Jacob
Thank you for the review! I'm glad you loved my story! I'll try to make more of these if I ever got the idea! <3 <3 <3
I want to everyone to stop in their tracks and read this! Keep reading this till your grandchildren tell you to stop. You know what, not even there keep read this over and over until scientists have found the meaning of life!
I want to say that I enjoyed reading this, this story captivated my heart that I didn't know was there. I was so ready to explode that dang car that hit Selene, I wanted them to meet so bad! There was going to be this amazing friendship that was about to blossom, and that dang car ruined everything!
Sorry, I went on a riot there... I want to say that the story you created here was truly amazing. The tragedy was not expected, I mean it was there in the beginning, I just didn't think she would die just like that. She had a life span of an ant (no offense). Still, the story is magnificent, a truly beautiful one.
(Sorry, I sound obsessed. No, more like a weeb who is talking about anime!)
Thank you for the review, Kahlene! I'll try to keep making more of these since I also enjoyed writing these as well!
You make me proud. ^.^
We can all hang up our hats now and sit back, Shall has this writing thing down to a science. The ebb and flow of it, it's a perfect balance of curiosity and understanding. Then when it hits, it all pieces together, it's such a 'wow' moment. I really do like the left justification with the indentation, it's a great way to set the mood for such a tragedy. It comes off as formal to me.
With a tragedy like this, you would want to feel something deeper but without that contact, it's mournful in of itself. Things really can change in a heartbeat and thank you for reminding me of that! It's been awhile since I've appreciated the reality around me.
Ooh Rah!
-JenTep
This was amazing! I love how you don't explain that Selene was the goddess of the moon. It really adds to the emotional atmosphere. I noticed Gravitem said that there aren't any grammatical errors, which isn't entirely true. You were missing a few commas, but otherwise this was phenomenal! As always, I loved it, and I appreciate how this story doesn't leave anything to be desired. The story wrapped up very neatly, and it was great.
Hope this was helpful!
-Icon
Hey! I'm going to be reviewing your little myth here, today!
I really felt this. Please write more of these for me...
When I first saw this story and the way the paragraphs were arranged, I thought it was a little weird but it really gave an effect to the story.
Let's get started.
I really loved it and I wanna hug this story so much that I might just print it out and sleep on it.
There were no errors in grammar.
And.... I WANT A BOOK FULL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Shall, you write awesome. )
There is no error at all!
The paragraphing gives the story an outstanding flow and it gives the reader the space to think, which is GREAT!
This refrain you used, and not just this.
This too.
These two refrains made the story complete. They were the foundation and the spire. The rest of the story was the building. These two lines did so many things. They broke the reader's heart, they made this a true tragedy, they the reader look from THE UNNAMED roommate's perspective. Your style is truly amazing.
(Shall, you write awesome, and I love you <3)
I can't say much else. My mind is far too blown apart, and my heart, far too broken.
KEEP WRITING!!!!
Yours sincerely,
Grav </3
Hi! This is a tragic story. And, this has left me heartbroken. The description of your title attracted me to read it. To start with, this is a well written story. I totally got into the story and the characters. As, I started reading this I never expected it to end in such a way.
About the writing style, I would like to ask you : Is it something which has happened unintentionally or you wrote it in this manner? You left spaces before beginning each line. Although I like it but just wanted to ask.
Overall, It was a well written and tragic story and I also felt what you might have felt for Selene. I feel that is the power of writing.To arouse all the emotions in a reader the way you felt it.
All the best for your future works and Keep Writing!
From: Bhavya
I'm glad that you felt for the narrator and that you enjoyed the story! I wanted to write a really grounded story and I'm glad it paid off!
To answer your question, I wanted to add something like a long pause after every paragraph to give that feeling of a deep breath before speaking!
Thank you so much for the review and thank you so much for telling me you like it! <3 <3 <3
Now, I understand your point. Yes, I liked your story. Thank you for sharing it.<3