z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Environmentally Disturbed.

by Serty


A Time Approaches

This is a time....

A time when mankind is on her own suicide journey;

slashing her oxygen supply with feller bunchers;

strangling her food supply with pollution and poisoning,

and drinking streams of chemicals at her own will.

We leave behind a generation that cannot even mourn our doom;

because by then, their eyes cannot behold the acid rain that will drop.

A generation, that the past may have seemed more hopeful than the future.

Juicy apples, wild buffaloes, sky crawling trees, cheerful blue skies and

traveling birds would be only but an imagination.

Their dear minds can only wrap around the boundaries of these once photographed pieces of nature.

These pieces of nature took a trip to the land of extinction, never to return.

My heart cries out for the next generation.

A generation for whom nose masks would be a must- have.

“Do I breathe to die?”

“Or stop breathing to live?”

“We have no say: a fate long decided by the actions of our forefathers”, they cry.

“For verily I say unto you, the air we breathe is itself a death trap.”

Human extinction would take over the conversations in society.

That time approaches....

Let us race to save Mother Earth, she is slowly running out breath

And we are slowly running out of time.

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616 Reviews

Points: 122617
Reviews: 616

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Mon Jul 15, 2019 3:48 pm
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a short review for you on this lovely night, and to help get your work out the green room.

Okay let's begin with the review shall we?

So Out of the whole poem I only saw two things that needs to be fixed, their not big mistakes and are easy to miss as the reader, trust me it happens to me a lot.
Anyway here is the first one.

A generation for whom nose masks would be a must- have.

Now the word in bold is what I would like to talk to you about, you see in this sentence you did get across what you wanted to say well, but the word in bold means nose like the nose on your face. I think you meant to say 'knows.' But this is a very small thing.

Okay onto the last thing I saw.
Let us race to save Mother Earth, she is slowly running out breath

Not there is nothing wrong with the words in bold here, but you need an 'of' between them.

And that's all for now, I really liked reading your work, it was really well written and I agree with everything you have said, it's really true, and there isn't anything we can really do about it.
I think your flow was really good, it aloud your reader to catch all the emotions that was put into your words, that were also very well picked.
Over all this was amazingly written, I loved everything about it, from the title to the ending. Just amazing, and I'm glad I got to be one of the people to read and review your work, I hope you will keep writing amazing things and post again on YWS soon. Have a great day or night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.



Random avatar
Serty says...


Thanks for reading my poem. And I really value your sincere reviews and the "of" between our and breath is well noted. But for the first review, I really meant nose masks that people wear in places like India since the air is too polluted and not safe for direct respiration.
Above all, I appreciate the review. Thanks





Ahh I understand. ;)



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17 Reviews

Points: 84
Reviews: 17

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Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:24 pm
salia4 wrote a review...



Okay, this is absolutely amazing, it's relevant and very, very true. One thing that I found interesting is that you seem to refer to mankind as "she" rather than the usual "he" and I'm not too sure as to why but I felt like that added another layer to the poem, and personally, I really appreciated it.

I just love the imagery and how realistic this poem is, because that is exactly where we're headed at the moment. I think my favorite line of this poem would be the third, "mankind is on her own suicide journey".

I personally feel like climate change is not getting enough attention and I'm exasperated that some people don't see the effects, don't even believe it's a real thing, I really appreciate the fact that you chose to write on this topic.

Another thing, when you were mentioning the masks, that's already going on in numeorus parts of asia where they have to wear face masks just to be able to breathe without risking getting lung cancer and other related diseases, also, the acid rain is common in certain areas in europe, a lot of what is described in this poem is already happening around the world, and it's really nice to see it all tied together like this.

I honestly feel like this is one of my favorite poems I've read on this site, keep writing, keep posting, and I truly can't wait to see what else you come up with!



Random avatar
Serty says...


Thank you salia4 for this wonderful review. Yes, the issues of climate change are pressing but quite ignored and we are running of time.
Thank you for reading and appreciating the poem.



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Points: 23
Reviews: 5

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Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:26 pm
Serty says...







The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names.
— Chinese proverb