Darkest nights with an empty mind,
She lies on the grass and stares at the sky.
The stars are twinkling and the moon looks pretty,
Contrasting with her life, which is all messy.
She works hard yet no ray of hope,
Surrounded by people, she still feels alone.
Driven by the past, she seeks a happy future,
But one fatal failure is what scares her.
Hating herself until she feels worthy,
At the end of the day, she succumbs to her insecurities.
Yearning to love and to be loved,
All she can do is believe and work.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Hey, fellow writer! Let's get started!
Wow, wow, wow. This poem strikes me very personally, because I struggle with similar issues. The meaning behind the poem is beautiful, and the poem itself is a masterpiece! This part hit home for me:
This one too:
Man, I get that ALL THE TIME. The way you expressed that feeling of loneliness... SO GOOD!
Now, I was kind of confused at the first few lines.
Again, the rhyme scheme is beautiful... but when I read it, it kind of sounded like the "darkest nights" had an "empty mind". I think you are trying to say that the girl had an empty mind, right? Try rephrase it somehow, so it doesn't confuse the reader as much.
Reminder: THIS IS YOUR WRITING!
If you aren't sure about my corrections, feel free to keep it the way it is. It's beautiful no matter what. Never EVER let anyone force you to change your work.
That's all I got. Happy writing!
Nice work done by the author.
The title of this poem makes the poem more interesting, encouraging the readers to read the rest of the poem.
"Hating herself until she feels worthy,
At the end of the day, she succumbs to her insecurities.
Yearning to love and to be loved,
All she can do is believe and work."
The readers can see how much effort the author has put into writing this wonderful poem. In my opinion the last four lines are the best lines of this poem, each and every word shows how deeply the surroundings effect the author's life.
Everybody some or the other day reaches at that stage of their life when they feel unworthy of themselves, like nobody cares about them, between all that what is happening with us we forget who we really are and we forget to believe in ourselves, we forget that we can overcome every obstacle that comes in our life. Believe me everyone on this planet is worthy.
Always remember- 'Winter always turns to spring bringing new hope for everybody.'
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.