Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.
For Tenyo's LMS contest. Word Count: 1362, approx.
Chapter Eleven
Amerys frowned at the screen, trying to figure out what it was that Emir was trying to show him. The words on the screen seemed to blur together before his eyes, almost lifting off the screen. He shook his head and looked towards the other man. "I don't understand it, Emir," he said, frown deepening. "It's just indecipherable nonsense to me."
Emir met his gaze evenly. "That's because it's not written in any of the languages the Galactic Coalition recognises, Amerys."
He snorted. "Then what is it written in?"
"You think I know?" the other man spat and pushed off the console. Emir stalked away, paused and then stalked back. He pointed at the image on the screen. Amerys's gaze slide back to it, eyes scanning over the crudely carved stone. The image, as far as the Coalition knew, had been taking on an essentially abandoned Baqir. The only planet that had not joined the Galactic Coalition, purely because there was no one to join it. "It's Baqiran, apparently. None of us can read it. I ran it through the search engine with the description of Seth's symptoms. It's the only thing that returned a result."
He looked at the screen with renewed curiousity. "That's....interesting."
"Thought you might say that."
"Do we have anything on the Baqirans or is that still an unknown?" Amerys asked, gaze narrowing as he studied the words. The letters squirmed again, blurring together then into duplicates and triplicates efored merging back into one. Amerys grunted and pushed off the console, scowling. "Emir?"
"No, we--"
"Rhys!"
They turned as one towards the doorway, somewhat surprised, as Sam stumbled to a halt in the doorway. She leaned heavily against the doorframe, panting harshly and glanced between them before focusing on him. Amerys blinked slowly. "Sam, what is it?"
"My brother," she said between panting breaths. "He's awake."
"He's what?"
"Awake!" she exclaimed and pushed off the doorframe, taking a shaky step inside. "You must come now, Rhys. Those veins? They were gone... but I don't know how long for." She lifted one shoulder in a little shrug, fixing him with urgent, ernest eyes. "He wants to talk to you, Rhys, and he's in a lot of pain--"
Amerys swore, glancing back over his shoulder at the image of the Baqiran text. He scowled at it again, flicked Emir a glance. "Find someone who can read that," he ordered and stalked for the doorway, catching Sam's arm as he passed. "Is he still in his room?"
"Yes. I told him to stay and rest--"
"Good," he grunted, pushing her ahead of him. "Then let's go."
Sam led him back to Seth's room as a fast pace. They didn't run. Amerys didn't want to attract the rest of the crew's attention. Past the handful he'd taken on the shuttle with him and Pyrrha, he didn't particularly trust anyone else. His trust was hard to earn lately, especially with Hakor and his pawns running about, trying to get in his way. He needed people he could depend on, who he knew weren't going to rush off to Hakor or someone else the moment they knew some pretty damn important information.
Which reminded him that he had to tell Pyrrha to hail the other two ships in his fleet and tell them to get their asses over to the Thanatos ASAP. He'd do that later. He had a potential consort to visit first. Seth was important. He needed to properly bond with the young man before Hakor got his dirty hands on him. If he lost Seth, everything he and the rest of his little alliance had been working on would be lost.
Amerys sighed as he turned the corner and followed Samira through a doorway halfway down the hall. And stopped abruptly as he realised he'd just stepped into a very dark room. The lights were there, though faintly, and he could see Seth's dark figure on the bed. Sam was crouched beside him. Seth was curled in on himself, hands covering his face and making a low, distressed noise.
"Seth?" he asked and the young man went very still. He gestured for the lighting to be brightened and grimaced when Seth seemed to cringe away from it. Sam glanced towards him, concern written all over her now well-lit face. "Seth, what's wrong?"
"He's sensitive to the light," Sam whispered from her brother's bedside. "He has a nasty headache--no. A pressure in his head... I don't know what it is anymore than he does."
"Sam. Get Emir and Anaua."
She stood up and crossed to where he stood, just inside the doorway, and hesitate. He glanced towards her, concerned. Although, most of that concern was for Seth now. Amerys looked at her levelly.
"Please help him," she told him lowly, avoiding looking directly at him. "This is hurting me as well."
"Go and fetch Emir and Anaua," he insisted, pressing a hand to her shoulder reassuringly. "They'll know how to help..."
He did not add the 'hopefully' he wanted to add to that sentence. Instead, he let the sentence trail off and waited until she nodded and began moving again. Amerys waited a few more minutes until he was sure she was gone before approaching the bed slowly.
"Seth."
The boy's attention snapped to him, even though he hadn't once moved his hands away from his face. Seth focused on him with everything else instead. Amerys could feel the whirling emotions in Seth now, could tell the boy was confused and angry, that he was still slightly panicked. He kept hs movements diliberately slow and careful, not stopping until he stood by the bed.
"Seth," he repeated, reaching out for him--and the young man jerked back. Amerys winced, a jolt of rejection hurtling through him. He forced it down, forced himself to listen.
"Don't touch me--" Seth's words were cut off with a sharp little inhale. When the young man spoke again, there was a touch of awe in his voice. "Why can I feel your emotions so sharply?"
He chuckled. "I was about to ask you the same thing," Amerys said, and glanced between the bed and the chair. He sat down in the chair. It smelled faintly of Samira, and he forced himself to focus on Seth again. Amerys tried to excude calmness as he settled into the chair, unsure of how well it was working. "But I think I can answer that question."
"Oh?" Seth was curious now, but he still refused to move his hands.
Amerys sat patiently, waiting. He knew that Seth knew why they could feel each others emotions now. He just wanted Seth to spell it out for him. It was, perhaps, cruel of him, but he wanted--no, needed--the boy to talk to him of his own violation. He would not force his presence on Seth, nor forced him to interact with people.
It took several long, tense moments before Seth inhaled sharply, then sighed and said; "I reached for your anger and took it into myself." He paused, then added in a whisper; "You told me not to."
"Yes," Amerys agreed quietly. "That I did." He paused, glancing back towards the doorway but Samira had not yet retured with Emir and Anaua. He wet his lips and turned back to find Seth watching him from between his fingers. His eyes were glowing blue. There were dark ugly veins criss-crossing his face, especially near his temples. Amerys figured that had to be rather painful. "Do you know why?"
"No."
He took a deep breath, watching the other man's glowing eyes for a moment, and then let it out. Seth had a right to know. Amerys had to tell him, and he couldn't be as delicate as he wanted to be about it. Something told him that Seth could handle a little blutness.
"Because it was the first step in forming a bond between us."
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Interesting chapter. Since this is the last one at the moment, I'll leave a more lengthy review...
I'm going to have to be blunt: the story was interesting when it first started, but for me, overtime it started to get boring. So Samira and Amerys rescued Sethos from what's-his-face. Now what? After that, all that's going on is this whole bonding thing. I honestly think spicing things up by having something or someone get in the way of the bonding would make things so much more interesting. Samira seems to have had help when she awakened her alien power. That said, to keep things fresh, I would add a twist that splits everyone apart, forcing Sethos to manage all on his own. Again, I like the whole Mr. Hyde gimmick you're experimenting with. That said, having Sethos change between his split personalities would allow for all kinds of plot twists.
Overall, I believe this novel has the potential to be an epic, unpredictable space opera with a clever mix of futuristic combat and mind games, but...well, see above.
See mine (notes) and /*edits*/ below.
On to the next chapter.
Hi ScarlettFire!
Unfortunately, I haven't read any of your previous chapters and I apologize if I got anything wrong. Just bear with me, please. : D This maybe wasn't the greatest place to jump into but I'm sort of getting an idea for what's going on. For now, I'll focus on a few things that stuck out to me.
To be honest, when I first read this I thought something was wrong with Amerys. Or rather his vision. I don't know how long he's been staring at this screen, but I do know Emir's showing him something and he can't figure it out. Reading this I got the impression that previously Emir was all, "Dude, look at this!" and Amerys came running and is just now examining the screen. But obviously not if his vision's getting blurry. Either that, or he has terrible eyesight.
Don't roll your eyes, but due to that second-to-last sentence where Sam's all concerned, I honestly thought she was the one asking the question.
You had quite a few typos and misspellings in here, so I suggest you go back over and edit...? It made it difficult to read in some places, like this for example:
That didn't make sense. I don't know if you meant to put "Past" there or "Besides" or something else.
Since I giddily jumped right into this, I had a little struggle with the characters. They all seem to be the same, with no distinguishing character traits or personality quirks. But I'm very intrigued by Seth... I don't know why he fascinates me! This chapter moved along pretty quickly (and I mean that in a good way), but aargh that ending. Guess I'll have to read more! XD
I hope you have a great day, and I sincerely apologize if you didn't find this super helpful.
Thanks for the read!
Man. Right when I'm really getting on a reading roll, every time. But then I guess that's the one problem with LMS...not as much to read each individual week, because you don't want to write too much each week.
So, question. I remember in a previous chapter - the one where we were inside Seth's head with him and Evil Seth - Seth made the connection that not only was the anger he was feeling not entirely his own, but that some of it was Rhys'. And I remember being like, "Wow, that is quite a leap of logic for someone who grew up as an earthling and has no idea what's going on right now."
But then in this chapter we've got this line from Seth.
Which makes it seem like Seth sort of knew how this worked all along. I don't remember that happening earlier, but maybe I missed it somehow. If I did, you can ignore my comment about this on the prior chapter where I mentioned it. If I didn't, maybe this needs some clarification earlier on, or like more attention drawn to it or something.
(I'm reading so many stories on here these days it's sometimes hard to remember which ones I've actually read all the way through and which ones I meant to but didn't. But I'm quite sure I read an earlier chapter at some point after I started reading partway through, because I remember thinking how Rhys and Sam's bonded romance thing still felt like it kind of came out of nowhere.)
ANYWAY, I kind of got hung up on that, but otherwise I thought this chapter made sense and flowed well. I'm especially curious about this language none of them know on this planet where there's no longer anyone to speak it. I can't wait to see where you go with that!
Oh, right. That. I'm pretty sure Seth just put things together faster than usual? And at that point, he wasn't even sure it was actually Amerys's anger. It was only after he woke up and calmed down a little that he actually made the connection. XD
And, uh, that line was just him remembering what he'd done and what Amerys/Rhys had said to him. It's just the thing Seth wanted to clarify with Rhys.
Funny you say that, cause Seth doesn't know. I think it was Sam who mentioned in a previous chapter that "Well, it looks like some things are definitely instinctual." As for the Sam/Rhys thing. I think I might need to make that clearer, especially in the prologue? Something to remember to do later, when it's finished.
Thanks for the review!