“What do you think that is Ethan?” asked Madison
“I don’t know Madison”
“Can I touch it?” asked Jason, what they were looking at was a hole in the ground, but this hole was surrounded by gray stone and there were mud tracks leading into the hole but they were old tracks, they figured that out when Jason liked them,
“So should we go in?”
“Why Madison? There is no reason why we should” said Ethan
“Well you know this could be a clue to why this storm is in the sky and I don’t know about you guy’s but I don’t want this town to parish case no one would do something about this! So you guys can follow me in here and be hero’s, or you can stay up here and do nothing about it!”
“I am in” said Jason
“But Jason this is a really dark hole and your afraid of the dark” said Ethan to Jason
“SHH! Madison dose not no that”
“Why is it bad if she knows?” Ethan smirked
“Just she does no need to no, so let’s go!”
“Thank you Jason”
“Shore thing Madison!”
“Ok let’s go in, Ethan Jason let’s do this!” then just as they were about to jump in, Caleb and Kaylee come running!
“MADISON!!!!” yelled Kaylee
“JASON ETHAN!!!!!!!” yelled Caleb
“Kaylee what, what is it?”
“There was just a big purple smock lack! And AAA!” Kaylee tried to explain what happened but she was to tariffed by what happened at the lack,
“Caleb, Kaylee is broken, so you tell us wait happened” said Jason
“Ok well I went down to get I drink of water from the leak and a big cloud of purple came up and fogged up the water and scared me out of my pink SOCKS! bartend you did not hear that”
“Ok so think, dose this stuff add up to anything?” asked Madison to Ethan
“YES! I think, there was I book in the library that was kind of like this!”
“but Ethan that library is closed” said Jason
“ya it closed like 2 years ago!”
“Well we could get an ensure there so let’s go!” yelled Madison
End of chapter
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139,045 Literary Works • 672,398 Reviews
I really like the story but why did
but just keep writing and work hard and you will do great, PS my fav character is Kaylee then Ethan then Caleb then Madison then Jason 
good lucky with your writing 
Caleb say pink socks? was that really necessary? maybe you could change it to like, "okay well I went down to get a drink of water from the lake and a big cloud of purple fog came up from the depths of the bottom of the lake and scared me so bad a almost peed" or something like that might be a little better
O,M,GOSH!!!!!!!! respect
Smaug respect, this is awesome my favorite chapter by fare I do not no why but I just love it! Ethan has more respect now, and about the library OMG I am so exited!!! Madison and Ethan siting in a tree, oh I love it! but the pink socks part for Caleb, is that really necessary? but still my favorite chapter and I like the purple lake thing that is so cool cant wait to reeb more
This is a pretty good chapter and I like how we get to see more of Kaylee and Caleb in this one but there are a few unnecessary parts, and keep in mind I am just trying to help u
ok so one part that is vary unnecessary is wen Caleb sees "OK well I went down to get a drink of water from the leak and a big cloud of purple came up and fogged up the water and scared me out of my pink SOCKS! bartend you did not hear that" that is a part that dose not really need to be in there, and if it was, then maybe say it defiantly like, "well, I went down to get a fresh drink of water from the lake and the a monsterus cloud of parole came from the depths of the lake and scared me half to death!" that would be a better way to say it, and lake is spelled lake not leak LOL but it is ok, we all make mistakes, I should no, so great job I cant wheat to reed more! 
Good afternoon, SmaugsIntern. AnarchyWolf here to review this fifth chapter.
As always, this was a fun, bouncy read with great interactions between the characters. It's bright and comes across as being fairly light-hearted, what with all of their joking and banter. They help to move the story along, like they have in previous chapters, and we - the readers - get to know them better as the chapter and the story progress.
There was an interesting twist halfway through, which I didn't expect. The fact that all of this was happening and had been described by a book before really stuck out as clever. It reminded me of Wolf's Rain and its [/i]Book of Paradise[/i], which fortold the wolves at the end of the world, but that's a whole different thing. They're similar, and it's a trope that I think you can make work really well.
The smaller nitpicks that I found:
Spoiler
"I don't know, Madison,"
[i]Jason liked them.
guys
perish
heroes
"Shh! Madison doesn't know that!"
"Shh! Madison doesn't know that,"
All of your dialogue is like this. You need punctuation at the end of dialogue.
"Sure thing, Madison!"
terrified
"But, Ethan - that library is closed," said Jason.
"Yeah, it closed, like, two years ago!"
"Well, we could go and make sure, so let's go!" yelled Madison
The dialogue for Madison might be off, because I wasn't quite sure what you meant by it.
You really, really need to spellcheck before you post. There are so many online places that you can just paste your story into, and they'll show you all of the spelling and grammar mistakes here. It'll save frustration when reading that comes from trying to decipher what exactly you mean. It'll make your work a lot more polished and professional, and you really should consider doing this. If not, then I'm sure you could find someone on here to edit for you and they'll pick out the grammar and spelling mistakes. But you should really consider doing something about it, since it's an ongoing problem throughout this story.
Homophones are confused throughout, which is an easily fixable problem. You have sure = shore, and no = know written throughout the chapter, which is off-putting when reading. These words are not interchangable, and, even though they sound the same, they do not mean the same when written, which is where the readers get confused and/or irritated.
This chapter needs a lot more description. The large bulk of this writing is dialogue, and while it's good and fun dialogue, it's dialogue nonetheless, and it can't help us get a feel for the setting or the tone or the mood. We don't know much, if anything, about the setting thus far, but this can be remedied so easily with a little bit of description. This chapter reads a lot like a script. Unless this is the effect that you wanted, description will add so much more to your writing.
Anyway, it was - as always - a fun piece to read, and I look forward to the next installment.
-AnarchyWolf
ok so this is the worst chapter in the world? LOL
Of course not. There are some very good aspects to this chapter, as I pointed out in my review. There are also some aspects that need work, such as your spelling. But it'll all fall in place in time.
-AnarchyWolf
ya well the spelling will be hard case I needed glasses for 8 years and we did not no that till 2 years ago so I am like 14 and in forth grad spelling so
sorry about that
It's fine
I'm really sorry if I offended you. It wasn't my intention.
-AnarchyWolf
oh its fin, I am fin to
