Young Writers Society

Hey there! Welcome to YWS I hope you enjoy it here. If you ever have any questions, feel free to ask!
I really enjoyed reading your poem. It's quite interesting, you've used a rhyme scheme, and I like the font you chose. You did a really nice job here! I have a few things I'd like to point out if you don't mind. These are just suggestions, so if you don't agree, you don't have to listen to me!

The first thing I'd like to mention is stanzas. Right now, your poem is a block of text. Separating your poem into stanzas can make your poem less intimidating and easier to read, so I recommend some stanzas.

The next thing I'd like to mention is your capitalization. I'm confused on the words you chose to capitalize. For example

She has those Amber eyes,

It seems she keeps her secrets Archived,

Wether she should try to surf the tide or just drown Inside,

And Darling, i think you know there's a sea of love Inside of me,

It's saying "I'm scared love But stay a while, The sea inside is one to be mastered still So as i pry just try to stay alive"

her true soul,

Hi, sam.k. I'm here for a short review.
This really a lovely poem. It's romantic and beautiful in both ways. I truly enjoyed reading this and I think it has a quite intriguing title. I'd like to point a few things out if you don't mind. These are only suggestions so you don't have to read them if you don't want to.

The first thing that caught my eyes was punctuation. In poetry, punctuation is a stylish choice, so you don't have to agree with me. But I think your poem could use some punctuation. You used commas, so I don't think there's a big deal about using periods as well.

"Whether she should try to surf the tide or just drown Inside,"

I was curious about your choice of using a comma when a period would be better to end it. It disrupted the flow a bit for me. If that was your intention, I'm sorry for my misunderstanding.

"It seems she keeps her secrets Archived,"

"Wether she should try to surf the tide or just drown Inside,"

I believe you meant "Whether" instead of "Wether"
Also, these two stanzas contains capitalized word in a sudden without any mention or explanation. I'm questioning that part.

"It's saying "I'm scared love But stay a while, The sea inside is one to be mastered still So as i pry just try to stay alive""

You should capitalize the "i" to "I". This stanza is quite a bit long, I suggest you shorten it up by using the next stanzas to hold them.

Overall, this is really an impressive piece written here.
Keep on writing!

Best wishes,
Your Reviewer, Chris

Hey! Awru here to review your work. I really enjoyed reading this piece. It was short and simple and really drove home a warm feeling. I think it was really sweet and soft. Its beauty lies in its simplicity. The way you expressed your emotions that you wanted to help her if only she'ed let you in was really beautiful. Also the mellow development in the relation through out the poem is very wholesome. I also liked the formatting of the poem. Although I think you can play around with the formatting a lot more like using italics to write the stronger words. Maybe throw in some of the Playfair Display font(Its one of my favoourrite fonts. I am obsessed with it)
I have a few nitpicks. Do remember that these are my personal opinion not a line drawn on a rock. Feel free to disregard or take as you feel fit.
First off, you published this in the Art category and it should be in the Poetry category. If you did that bcz you wanted to attach a pic then it is also possible to insert an image there. You just have to click on the icon(on the upper side) that is shaped like a picture of a landscape. That will do the trick.

Eyes so pretty they could kill a man if they pryed,

Something about them is too good to be true and it's been bothering me,

It's saying "I'm scared love But stay a while, The sea inside is one to be mastered still So as i pry just try to stay alive"

PEACE OUT

Hello there,

I am just going to go throw some of the stanzas, or well none of them because they aren't separated. Make breaks in the poem if you want it to read well or look neat, it looks so lazy right now and that's not good.

She has those Amber eyes, Amber shouldn't be capitalized.
Eyes so pretty they could kill a man if they pryed, That isn't the right word to use.
But the shine in those eyes doesn't seem real to me, Two 'me' in the same stanza.
Something about them is too good to be true and it's been bothering me,

It's saying "I'm scared love But stay a while, The sea inside is one to be mastered still So as i pry just try to stay alive"

-Sameer

Hi, ths is a nice piece. I relate to the lines but the formating kinda makes it hard. Don't know if it's my mobile having it wrong.
Other than that i really like the descriptions. It's amazing how much floods one's mind when they look straight into a person's eyes...
The self preservation in those amber eyes also is great, on the other hand, at the end where it says "i am scared love..." shows how much we realy on those we trust, the ones we love.nice piece.