Evanidus Puer (The Disappearing Boy)

by Sam
  • May 12, 2006
  • Short Story
  • Historical Fiction

Old, icky, unedited post- begone!

Comments & reviews · 4
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Fishr
Comment
Fishr commented · Sat May 13, 2006 3:01 am

By the way- if anyone can think up a good priest name, do tell me. I've just realized 'Father Thompson' is the name of my priest...


Some names I thought of:
Father Canon
Father Dannon
Father Elliot
Father Godfrey
Father Jayden

Well, there's a few anyway. I'm probably not the best person to ask, since I like the unusual. Still, I do like the original name a lot. Besides, if it's your priest's name, then he should be prettyy happy. He's in your story! :D

Edit, and thank you! :)

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Sam
Comment
Sam commented · Sat May 13, 2006 2:21 am

Thank you guys for getting it so quickly!

By the way- if anyone can think up a good priest name, do tell me. I've just realized 'Father Thompson' is the name of my priest...:P

Fishr- I shall get to BFG immediately! And by immediately I mean now, since I've been putting it off for so long. :wink:

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Fishr
Review
Fishr wrote a review · Sat May 13, 2006 12:41 am

Like Cl, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The dialogue was neat and furthernore Father Thompson was entertaining. Would a Priest really behave like that? Just curious. ;) Besides, a tabacco-spitting Priest is loads of fun. I'm surprised he wasn't using snuff too, lol.

This was was my favorite part:

He reached into his mouth with his forefinger, pulled out a small wad of tobacco, and wiped it on his clerical robes. Oh, dear God. So that’s what that was, I thought.


Well, actually, I liked this too:
I descended the narrow staircase up to the women’s pews, and took a seat next to a window, feeling satisfied. I had just heard a grown man say the word ‘whore’. Twice.


When I'm not seeing stars, I'll try and come back to this, and critique it but for now, I hope you like the review. :)

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Caligula's Launderette
Review
Caligula's Launderette wrote a review · Fri May 12, 2006 7:53 pm

I did a read over, and this seems like just my type of thang. So I am adding it to my list, to indepth it later. :D I love the dialogue, made me laugh.

Ciao, CL.



The words you speak become the house you live in.
— Hafiz