Stage Fright

Hi! I'm here to drop a quick review.

Firstly, this poem was so relatable. For example, I can speak to somebody for hours on end, but if somebody makes me sit and asks me to speak while others and cameras are present, I just... can't. The words don't come. I love how you've expressed that.

I think my favourite line was:

Choking on the terror of my faults being immortalized in a whispered game of telephone.

I enjoyed this poem.I love how in the end,when the person leaves,they felt as if they were being watched.It shows how damaged they are on the inside for being on a pedestal too much.One of my favorite parts in the poem were these lines:"Run to the bathroom and they follow,crooning their lies." So,they honestly like the performance or are they lying for their own benefit,like the character says? Who knows? People can be so cruel and this defined how cruel people can be.Great Job!

Hey Wren! Saw this in the Green Room and thought I'd stop by with a review!

So I love the intense stream of consciousness style where the reader is right in the speaker's thoughts, it did bring up for me some memories of being afraid I was going to faint at an orchestra concert and how intense those anxious feelings can get when you're in front of an audience. You captured a lot of those feelings well - and I especially liked the line "Choking on the terror of my faults being immortalized in a whispered game of telephone." Ah! that's such a perfect way to describe that!

I think the meaning of the poem was pretty concrete from the beginning - the speaker is worried about the people who are watching them, and the "watching" might come from a metaphorical or real audience - they get so anxious they seem to almost have an anxiety attack feeling nautious and not being able to breathe so they run out but find no relief.

I felt like part of the poem I didn't quite get were the last two lines. I think the jester's cap thing is a bit out out of nowhere - because I don't know whether you mean a real or metaphorical jester's cap and earlier the poem seemed to be portraying a singing rather than jestering performance, so it feels a little bit like a the expectations / terms of the poem are swapped. If you want it to be about a jester's anxiety I'd put some hint of that in the first half of the poem, so the reader isn't caught by surprise at the end. Or I'd just leave their identity generic.

In the last line I also really didn't understand what was meant "But I am still watched" ... what is meant by that? It's an intriguing way to end, but leaves me a little more questioning and confused, then mysterious~ I think this could maybe be a bit expanded on.

Another area of improvement you might look into is standardizing your line lengths - that'll go a long way in making the poem feel more polished and also making it more approachable and flow better for reading. Here's how I'd break it up: