Insane

I loved Saturdays, they were my favorite. Even if we had homework, we would lie to our parents and meet at the park, me, Vallery, Leo, and Bailey.

March 15th

I ran down the stairs of my house with my backpack, avoiding eye contact with my mum. I thought I made it when I got to the door, but my mum stood behind me as I started to open it.

“Ahem!” She cleared her throat.

“Crap.” I muttered, turning around slowly.

“And where are you off to?” She questioned.

I stood taller as if trying to appear more confident about my answer, “The park!” I declared.

My mum sighed, “You have homework.”

“Well yeah that’s why, I’m meeting with my friends so we can do homework.” I spat out quickly, trying not to stutter too much.

She rolled her eyes, “Whatever, just be home by dinner.”

I smiled widely and rushed out the door, “Thanks mum! See you later!”

I ran down the pavement to the park, I was already ten minutes late. I ran to the bench we always met at waving my arms. My friends were already there.

“Sami!” My friends yelled.

I ran to them with a large smile and squeezed myself between Vallery and Bailey on the bench. We talked for hours about useless stuff. Vallery talked about her cat, Bailey talked about her nail tech, Leo talked about the guy he liked, and I talked about my little sister’s birthday that was coming up.

“I love Rose,” Bailey said to me, “She’s so sweet.”

“What did you get her for her birthday?” Vallery asked me.

I smiled, I was proud of what I got her, I put a lot of thought into it, “I got her a stuffed bunny since that’s her favorite animal, and a semiprofessional art kit, she’s been really into art lately.”

“Semiprofessional?” Leo said, “She must be pretty impressive.”

I smiled at him. My friends always loved my little sister, they always told me that they wished we were siblings so they could have her as a little sister.

I looked around the park, it was nice out. It was the first time in months our Saturday hang outs were filled with sun. There were other people outside, kids on the swings, old folks feeding birds, people walking their dogs, and him. I looked at the bench across from us on the other side of the playground, I had to close and open my eyes, I thought I was hallucinating. A man sat there, ghostly pale skin, black and white suit, a jester hat, and that face. He had dug in eyes, and a horrible smile that stretched across his face, filled with tall and crooked teeth. He stared at me and I stared at him. I didn’t hear anything that my friends were talking about, I was fully focused on him.

“Sami? You okay?” Leo asked me, waving his hand in front of my face, reaching over Vallery on the bench.

I finally snapped out of it, “Uh yeah.” I said quietly.

I looked back to the bench and the man was gone.

I guess I was just seeing things. I thought to myself.

We continued our hang out but I couldn't focus on the conversation. His face was burned into my brain, those eyes, that ghostly pale skin, and that mouth. My friends and I sat for around two hours after but I wasn’t present. We said our goodbyes and went to our houses.

I walked down the sidewalk to my house, I felt like there were eyes all around me, I looked behind me but no one was there. I felt tingling on my neck, I could feel eyes on me but no one was around. My hands gripped the straps of my backpack tightly until my knuckles turned white. I walked faster.

I ran through my front door and locked it quickly. My mum was in the kitchen cooking, I didn’t want to eat, my stomach hurt, I felt sick. My little sister, Rose, who was six, ran to me and hugged me.

“Sami’s home! Sami’s home!” She squealed.

I smiled down at her, “How about you go help mom set the table for dinner?”

She beamed at me, “Okay!”

She ran to the dining room and arranged three bowls and silverware nicely on the table. I stood by the door.

He wasn’t real, you’re okay Sami. I tried to convince myself.

I walked into the dining room and sat next to Rose, my mum brought out a large bowl of soup and placed it in the center of the table. Rose insisted on getting her own food and spilled more on the table than in her bowl. I cleaned the table and got her food for her. Rose, my mom, and I ate dinner together, talking about what we had done that day. Rose played with our neighbor’s kid outside, my mum walked our dog (Missy), and I did ‘homework’ with my friends. I didn’t mention the man I saw, after all he wasn’t real, I was just hallucinating, I was just insane.

After we ate dinner I cleaned the kitchen with the help of Rose, who mostly just handed me dishes to wash.

I said goodnight to Rose and my mum and went to my room. Missy was lying on my bed. She was a large collie with brown and white fur. I turned off my light and laid next to her, I didn’t bother changing my clothes, I just wanted to sleep. Missy adjusted herself so her chin was on my chest, looking at me with those big black eyes. She did this anytime I was worried, she could just sense my panic.

Why am I so stressed? It was just me being insane and seeing things. I thought.

I fell asleep with Missy curled up to my side. I awoke from my sleep, I had a nightmare, I couldn’t remember what about though. I looked around my room and I saw the man standing in the corner of my room but he vanished after a second. I breathed heavily and flopped back down in my bed, I kept seeing him. I pet Missy and fell back asleep.

Sunday morning, I woke up to a scream, my mum’s. I jumped out of bed, wobbly on my feet, I ran to my mum’s room but she wasn’t in there. I heard sobs from Rose’s room, my blood ran cold. I sprinted to Rose’s room, the door slammed against the wall as I swung it open.

I didn’t process before I spoke, “What happened?”

I looked at Rose’s bed and froze. Her body lied peacefully still as if sleeping, but her face. Her eyes were dug out, and she had a long smile carved into her face. The wall had letters written in blood, ‘Mr. Smiles.’ It was like something out of a crappy horror movie, but it was real. My six-year-old sister laid lifeless in her bed. My mum didn’t speak, she just sobbed. I grabbed my phone and dialed the police. Within 20 minutes our house was filled with police officers and crime scene investigators taking pictures of Rose and the wall. A police officer pulled me and my mum aside.

“There’s no sign of a forced entry.” The officer said.

“What do you mean? My sister is dead! How could no one have broken in?” I yelled, I wasn’t angry at the officer, she was just doing her job. I was terrified.

The police left with their photos and my sister’s body in a white sheet. The house felt empty, Rose would’ve been running around yelling nonsense about her imaginary friends, but there was nothing, the house was silent, Rose was gone.

I sat with my mum on the couch, Missy sitting between us. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. I kept thinking Rose would run down the stairs and jump on me giggling, but it never happened.

March 17th

Monday, I was supposed to go to school and give a presentation about windmills, it was a stupid subject but it’s what I was assigned. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, I couldn’t go to school. I looked out my window and saw the bright sun, all I could think about was how Rose would be outside with our neighbor’s kid, and my mum would have to yell at her to get back inside and finish getting ready for school.

Rose was never gonna get the present from me, the stuffed bunny would never get worn out, art would never be made with that art kit. Thinking about that made me cry, I buried my face in my pillow as tears streamed down.

My mum knocked gently on my door before peeking into my room, her face was red and her eyes were puffy from crying.

“You don’t have to go to school if you don’t want to sweetie.” She said softly.

I looked up her and wiped the tears from my face, “I don’t want to.”

I was so angry, the fact that someone would do that to a child, a six-year-old. I laid on my side staring at the door and my mum right next to it. She slowly walked towards me and sat on the edge of my bed, she leaned down and hugged me, I hugged her back. She stood up and looked down at me.

“I’m going to go downstairs and watch a movie.” She spoke quietly, “If you start to feel better please come join me.”

I looked up at her and gave a half smile that was painfully forced, “Okay mum.”

She left my room and shut my door gently. I rolled back over and looked at the window, my eyes widened and I sat up. Tapped to my window was a childish drawing, it was of the man I saw at the park, above him was large messy letters written in red crayon, ‘Mr. Smiles.’ I stopped breathing. The picture, the words, it was all too much. I slowly stood up and walked to my window, I carefully opened the other side of my window and reached around to grab the picture. I shut my window and sat on my bed, I held the picture in my hands, just staring.

I held the paper tight in my hands as I walked downstairs to the living room where I saw my mum sitting on the couch, she was watching some stupid animated kids’ movie. I slowly sat next to her.

“Can I talk to you?” I asked carefully.

She looked at me then reached to her side and paused the movie that was playing, “Sure.”

“When I was at the park Saturday,” I started with a trembling voice, “There was a man there, and he was watching me but then he disappeared, so I thought I was just seeing things.”

My mum stiffened as she listened to my words.

I let out a shaky breath before continuing, “And this was tapped to my window.” I hesitantly handed her the drawing, “And the man I saw, looked exactly like this.”

She stared down at the picture for a few moments before handing it back to me, “I’ll take it so the police later.” She spoke calmly, almost too calm.

Then it clicked, she didn’t believe me, she thought I was insane. I stood up and left, breathing heavily. My sister was dead, her daughter was dead, and she didn’t believe me when I gave her a crucial piece of evidence, she probably thought I drew it myself. Maybe I was just insane.

March 31st

Monday, I finally decided to go back to school. I missed all of my Saturday hangouts the past two weeks. I walked into the building in a baggy T-shirt and sweatpants, my hair was messy and I wasn’t wearing any makeup. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. I walked to my locker and threw my bags in and slammed it shut, I felt arms around me and jumped a little before recognizing the pink acrylic nails- Bailey. I turned around and looked at her, Vallery and Leo were standing behind her looking at me.

Bailey spoke softly, “We heard what happened, I’m so sorry.”

I just nodded at her, I didn’t know what to say to that. It always made me mad when people apologized for stuff they had nothing to do with.

People always said that there were five stages of grief, but I didn’t believe it, I had made it through three of them, but I didn’t think I would ever make it to acceptance.

I went to my classes like a normal student, but the teachers treated me differently.

I walked into my 4th period class and my heart stopped, my teacher had a black and white jester hat on, Mr. Smiles’ hat.

Mr. Turpin smiled at me, “Good to have you back Sami.”

I stared at the hat, mouth agape.

He noticed me staring and grinned, “I found it in the park yesterday.” He stated, “Do you like it?”

My face remained blank, “Uh yeah it’s… it’s great.” I said quietly.

I walked to my seat and sat down, maybe I wasn’t so insane after all. The hat was real, maybe Mr. Smiles was too. I sat through Mr. Turpin’s lecture, my breath heavy. He was talking about psychology.

“For example, if I were to dig my eyes out of my skull right now, what psychological effect would it have on you?” He said.

Everyone’s heads shot up at this, Mr. Turpin had a calm smile on his face. He brought his thumbs up to his eyes.

One boy who thought Mr. Turpin was joking laughed, “Hah! Real funny Mr. Turpin!”

The boy stopped laughing, Mr. Turpin jammed his thumbs into his eyes, blood ran down his cheeks as he dug at his eye sockets. Silence filled the room, the only sound was Mr. Turpin’s eyes being crushed by his thumbs. No one reacted, we were all stunned. Mr. Turpin fell limp before we all started panicking. I had never cared much about not having friends in that class until then. One girl called the cops, another used the class phone to call the principal.

The paramedics and police showed up and questioned a few of the students, I was lucky enough not to be questioned, I didn’t want to go through that again. They took his body on a stretcher and drove him away in the back of the ambulance. The school sent us home. I walked to my house, more on edge than ever. I kept asking myself why he did that, but I knew. The hat, Mr. Smiles. Mr. Turpin didn’t want to do it, he was forced.

I continued walking and kept feeling that same sensation of being watched. I turned around, but just like before the streets were empty, I walked faster, almost at a run. I continued until I went past a store, I paused for a moment and looked at my reflection. In the window I was standing just the same as I truly was, but I had a horrible smile on my face, and Mr. Smiles stood behind me. I turned around to see the empty street. I faced the reflection again, and saw my own thumbs come up to my eyes.