Unborn Child

I'm confused was this a miscarriage poem or a termnation pregnacy poem? Either way good poem, intense emotions you shared well done, keep writing.

Hello there! CelticThunder1438 here for a review of your work! a.k.a Selina

First off I would like to say that this poem was very good. The only thing I was a bit confused on (as I see were many others besides myself) is that I wasn't sure if it was abortion or miscarriage?

"She reconsiders

as many do

Of what's growing inside her

but all she hears is reassurance

drowning out internal guilt

and then it's gone

That unborn child

she feels the emptiness

for what was not supposed to be there

for a life never to be lived."

I liked this paragraph. <3



I LOVED THE POEM =) keep up the good work and I hope to read more of yours!

~CelticThunder1438

This was quite confusing. I mean is this about abortion or miscarriage? I couldn't figure it out.

Hey there! Stella here for a review.

I am currently on placement in a maternity hospital so I found this particularly emotive. I thought that the imagery you used was really interesting - especially the last few lines, about emptiness and "a life never to be lived".

Something that confused me, however, was whether this poem was about a miscarriage or a termination of pregnancy. At first I thought it was about a miscarriage, with "the red oozing between her fingers", but then on rereading the line "reconsiders" made me think it was rather about a termination of pregnancy. Either way, it's poignant, but I just wasn't entirely sure. I guess it can be read either way.

A small nitpick would be those lines, "She reconsiders/as many do/Of what's growing inside her." Something about the syntax doesn't seem right to me - particularly the use of the word "Of" but also, how can she reconsider the foetus? Is she rather reconsidering the choice to terminate? If so, I think that the meaning of these lines could be brought across in a better way. Right now it doesn't seem grammatically correct, and I also don't think it gets your point across that well.

The first line, as someone who is heavily integrated into the health service, didn't quite make sense to me, as I don't think anybody in a clinic - be it an antenatal clinic where a lady is told she has miscarried, or an abortion clinic - would tell someone that the foetus isn't alive yet. That is often a matter of opinion, and it just seems a weirdly specific and somewhat insensitive thing to say. But maybe it is said in certain situations, and if so, then it's a completely jarring and haunting way to start the poem - with an insensitivity that doesn't sit well with the woman. So just a thought to consider.

Other than that, I think that this was really strong - in fact if I had any other complaints it would be that I'd like there to be a little bit more meat in the poem, for it to be a little longer and more in-depth! But otherwise good job.

Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!

-Stella x

Hi!

I know this is sad but it is very good. I love how you captured the emotions and what happened. I also truly love the whole topic you used. I loved the voice you used. You have much talent. I hope you post more soon!

The only nitpick I have is that in some places you began a new sentence and didn't put a period. Was this intentional? Such as:

She reconsiders

as many do

Of what's growing inside her

but all she hears is reassurance

drowning out internal guilt

and then it's gone

That unborn child

she feels the emptiness

for what was not supposed to be there

for a life never to be lived.

Beautiful. I don't review poetry, but I had to say something. Like you said, it's rough, but it's also heartfelt. I wonder how many children have lost their lives to abortion.