The Rage (Very rough, rough draft) Prologue

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: Well, for a rough rough draft, this is really good here, you truly do manage to create a powerful and chilling depiction of what looks to be a truly despicable illness right there.

Anyway let's get right to it,

The disease started many months ago. It started in the Northern Forest, and spread from there. It took hold of every predator.

First, you’re tired all the time. Like you went a year without sleeping. Second, you get all dizzy and sick when you try to move. You stay holed up in your den all day. Third, you start coughing, sometimes blood. Fourth, you get this incredibly painful headache. Your head just burns, all the time. Fifth, the headache spreads to your entire body. It burns everywhere, like you’re on fire inside. Sixth, the pain drives you mad. You can’t even feel anymore. You stagger to your paws and out into the world.

Your vision’s red. You see something. Another wolf. It’s curious. It stalks up to you, and realizes its danger at the last moment. You spring, driven by something far from normal. The wolf whimpers, its tail tucking, ears going back, eyes flashing white in fear. Then it realizes submission is only going to get it killed. It tries to flee, but by then, you’ve toppled it to the ground. Your fangs search for its throat. You can see the delighting fear in your prey’s eyes, it maddens you, and you want it dead.

The other wolf struggles, but you’re impossibly strong. It doesn’t stand a chance. Your jaws close around its throat. The other wolf goes limp, its chest heaving with fear and shock, eyes rolling. You clamp down, crushing its throat between your savage jaws. Warm liquid fills your mouth, the wolf tries to howl, but its blood gurgles in its throat. The life leaves its eyes, glazing over. You adore that look. You give it a shake, flinging its body away from you.

Finally, the burning has stopped. But you’re a killer now. Now that you can think, you know that forever, you’ll be a killer. Until you’re killed. But you don’t care anymore. You’re sick, and very, very deadly. You feel powerful, like an alpha, but even more so. You like the feeling, the strength running through your diseased blood.

You’ve been infected. They’ll hunt you down. The Pures. The Non-Infected wolves. But you’ll kill them before they kill you. You know it. You’re a monster now, not even a wolf.

You’ve been infected with the Rage.

SP, you’re prologue is a good one. Without being too wordy, your descriptions are very detailed. You not only describe the Rage, but you make readers feel the Rage. Therefore, you took an interesting premise and expounded upon it by giving it life, so that readers feel a connection to the conflict. To me, that’s what affective writing is all about. You definitely have a shot here at creating a dark, gripping Fantasy novel.
There’s only a few sentences that bothered me.
“Third, you start coughing, sometimes blood.”
I think you should try something like, “Third, you start coughing – sometimes with blood coming up.” It sounds more complete that way.
“The wolf whimpers, its tail tucking…”
Even though I understand what this sentence means, maybe go with, “”The wolf whimpers, tucking its tail between its legs.” Again, “its tail tucking” sounds too incomplete.
“You can see the delighting fear in your prey’s eyes…”
Maybe try, “You take delight in the fear within your prey’s eyes…”
“You’re sick and very, very deadly.”
I would go with a more descriptive adjective like, “You’re sick and severely deadly.”
Anyway, these are just my opinions. Like you said, this is just a rough draft. However, for a rough draft, it’s already nicely fleshed out.
Hope you continue to write this story.