Chapter Eight
Kyran returns an hour later, dragging a good-sized deer behind him. He looks smug.
“You actually caught it.” Glass gapes, padding forward to sniff at the deer. Kyran flicks his tail.
“You doubted me too, huh?” he asks, sitting with his chest puffed out proudly.
“Duh. Most wolves can’t down a buck by themselves.” Glass snorts.
“Nice.” I bark, examining his catch.
“Yeah, well, I’m not most wolves, ya know.” Kyran shrugs, grinning.
“We gonna eat?” Lane asks, stalking up to us.
“Should we wait for Crow and Dake?” I ask.
“Why? They went off to hunt their own prey.” Kyran says, tearing open the deer. He politely steps back to let us have first dibs. I don’t complain. I’m starving.
When Dake and Crow show up, all they’ve got is a small rabbit. I’m not looking at him, but Kyran is definitely grinning.
“You actually-“ Crow is stunned.
“Yes.” Kyran smirks.
“Can we eat?” Crow asks reluctantly.
“Why not?” Kyran exclaims cheerfully, sitting up. The rest of us are laying, full and comfortable, around the almost-gone deer carcass, listening. Dake pads up to Kyran, looking at the young wolf suspiciously.
“Where’d you find it?” Dake asks. I raise my head to glare at him. He just couldn’t accept that Kyran, a Western Healer, had actual skill.
“Find it?!? Seriously? I caught it.” Kyran growls, clawing indignantly at the ground.
“No. You didn’t.” Dake states, as though it’s fact. Kyran stares at him, his gray eyes narrowing. Then he relaxes, looking coolly at Dake.
“Whatever. Food is food. Whether you believe I caught it or not doesn’t matter to me. “ Kyran says dismissively. Dake narrows his eyes. I can’t believe my brother. Kyran turns and stalks back over to the four of us around the deer. Crow is scarfing down his portion, and the rest of us are just relaxing. Kyran plops down, flicking his tail.
“Is he always like that?” the dark red-brown wolf mutters, looking over at me.
“Um, no. I don’t think he likes you.” I say with an apologetic shrug.
“Of course not.” Kyran sighs dramatically.
“Give it time. He’ll forgive you if you keep up the hunting work.” I suggest, irritated with Dake.
“Well, I can put up with him as long as I need to.”
“So what happened to your home?” I ask, cocking my head. And then remember what the Alpha Male had said a million times when Kyran looks uncomfortable. Don’t ask about wolves’ pasts. Many who aren’t as lucky as us don’t want to remember them. “I-I mean you don’t have to say, I just thought- I’m sorry, it’s just-“I start blabbering.
“No, no, it’s fine.” Kyran laughs good-naturedly, cutting me off. My ears burn in embarrassment. Kyran pokes me with a paw. “It’s okay.” He grins. I start grooming my ruffled white fur, distracting myself.
“My home is in the Healers’ forest, but my pack is not all Healers. See, there are packs that live near the Healers’ in order to defend them, and in return are granted rights to be healed when they are injured.” Kyran starts. I can’t help but interrupt.
“So you’re not a Pure?”
“No.”
“And you’re not a Healer?”
“No, now let me finish.” Kyran barks. “I wasn’t born in that pack. My mother and father died when I was young, and the pack found me. They gave me to the Healers to train and raise as another Healer, and they did. But when I was a year old, many wolves in the pack were falling ill, not to the Rage, but some other disease. They were not able to hunt, so the Healers had to help the pack with their hunting and borders. The younger Healers were assigned a mentor to teach them hunting. My mentor was Lilly, and she was the best mentor ever. She taught me all the best hunting and fighting techniques and I learned quickly.
“When the disease had faded, I’d become such a great hunter that the pack didn’t want me to resume my normal Healer duties.” Kyran paused to flash a smug smile. ”So I continued to work in the pack. Everything was great, and I was—can you believe this?—even hoping to become Alpha Male of the pack one day! A Healer-hunter yearling becoming alpha; I don’t know what I was thinking. But it was wonderful, and even the Rages weren’t bothering us. The Healers even thought they were close to the cure for the Rage. It couldn’t have been better.
“And then the Rages showed up. It was a pack. I think there were nine of them. They attacked our camp, and the pack valiantly fought to keep them away from the Healers. I was lucky enough to be inside the Alphas’ den at that time, hidden under the rocks. There was nothing I could do. So I watched as my pack was slaughtered. They didn’t stand a chance.” Kyran looks at me, almost as though pleading. “There was really nothing I could do.”
I touch his shoulder comfortingly with my tail-tip. Kyran looks away, flattening his ears in either fear or anger.
“The Rages found me. But they couldn’t fit under the den because I’d blocked most of the entrance with rocks. This really big black Rage, the Alpha or something, I guess, started digging out the rocks, though. They were going to get me. I dug as far back into the den as I could, but they were still going to get me. And then Lilly showed up.
“She attacked the black Rage, and drove him away from the den. She told me to run, and get help. I ran away from the den, but I stopped at the edge of camp. I looked back.” Kyran shudders. I notice that the others are listening closely, watching the young male. Dake is frowning.
“I couldn’t see anything but the blood and dead wolves that scattered the camp. There was nothing left. Nothing but me and Lilly. And I watched as Lilly died. The only good thing those Rages did was rip her apart so she couldn’t turn into one of them. I was frozen, and the Rages saw me. I didn’t want to move, but it wasn’t like I could have if I’d wanted to. They’d taken everything from me.
“But then something landed in front of my paws. It was a silver crescent moon. I saw the Healers crouched on top of the Alphas’ den, safe for now. The Chief Healer had thrown the moon to me. I knew I had to find help. So I took the necklace and ran. The Rages are fast, but I knew the forest. I made it to the lake and jumped in. The Rages were on my tail. I swam as far down as I could, and stayed there. The Rages didn’t follow. They’re not good swimmers. Anyway, when I ran out of breath, I came up. The Rages were gone, probably back to finish shredding my packmates.
“I didn’t feel like I could go on, but I did.” Kyran stares at his paws, eyes grief-stricken. “I went to the South, since that’s where the Pure Warriors are. I thought they would help. I was stopped by the Outer Patrol, though.” Kyran’s voice turns bitter. “They said they couldn’t help. They told me to go back home, and that a pup like me shouldn’t be wandering around in Rage territory. I couldn’t believe it.”
Kyran’s gray eyes scan us accusingly.
“I’d heard that the Pure Warriors were brave, and noble, and honest, and pure, and everything good. But they told me to leave. They couldn’t help. They were cowards. So I left. I was mad. I couldn’t go home, so I spent the night just outside of the wall, where the Outer Patrols couldn’t see me. Or I thought they couldn’t. Then I heard a patrol walking outside the wall, and I thought they could see me, but I wasn’t sure, so I listened to what they were saying.
“One of them, the leader, I think, was super angry. He kept ranting on about how the General shouldn’t let silver crosses go on missions, and how much he hated Dake.” Kyran smirks at Dake. Dake growls. Shreek. Definitely Shreek. I think.
“I decided they weren’t coming towards me, and kept listening. There was a patrol of Pure Warriors heading to the Eastern Healers. I knew I had to find them, to find you. So I went to the Eastern Healers and found a whole bunch of Rages, and saved that thing’s life.” Kyran finishes, flicking his tail at me. “End of story.”
The others are silent. Dake’s eyes are narrowed.
“I’m sorry.” I say quietly, breaking the silence.
“Yeah. Me too.” Kyran mutters, closing his eyes and curling up against the cold. I watch him a moment, then curl up as well, the cold wind stirring my fur. The stars twinkle overhead, and a crescent moon hangs in the dark sky, glittering off the snow. I listen as the others tuck up, all except for Lane, who’s keeping watch tonight. I sigh and drift off to sleep.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Hey kid.”
“What do you want?” Kyran grumbles, lifting his head to glare at Dake. The golden wolf flicks an ear, his expression unreadable.
“So where did you find that deer?” Dake queries.
“I told you, I killed it.” Kyran sighs.
“We both know you didn’t. The killing technique is that of a Rage, and I think we both know that, too.”
“A Rage?” Kyran sits up.
“Yeah. Charge the prey, go for the throat, drag it down and maul it.”
“Doesn’t look very mauled to me.”
“Its back is snapped. A normal wolf can’t do that.” Dake growls. Kyran’s eyes flicker.
“So I found it? Is that illegal?” The younger wolf snaps. Dake’s green eyes darken.
“You could have just infected our entire pack!” he snarls.
“You only get infected by getting bitten, Mr. High and Mighty.”
“You get infected by Rage saliva. If a Rage killed it, a Rage used its teeth; you know what that means, Healer?”
“They’re not infected.”
“Prove it.” Dake growls, his fur bristling. Kyran rises to his feet.
“What’s your problem with me, anyway?”
“I know what you are, Kyran. That’s my problem.”
“A Healer? I told you-“
“You’re not a real Healer, I know. But Healers lie, now don’t they, Kyran?” Dake asks. Kyran flattens his ears, baring his teeth. His eyes darken, seeming to flash almost red in the moonlight.
“Chill. I don’t like you, but I don’t have any quarrel with you, either. I think we can work together, for now. And I think you’re right—they’re not infected.” Dake says, instinctively lowering his head to defend his throat at Kyran’s warning position.
“All except for Katya, right?”
“Shut up! She’ll be fine.”
“Ha! You only wish, Pure.” Kyran sneers, itching for a fight. Dake snarls. Lane whirls to glare at them.
“You two be quiet! I’m happy to deal with your bickering, but if you’re going to kill each other, take it where the blood won’t attract Rages!” she snaps, her gray and black fur flecked with snow. Dake spins and storms off. Kyran glares after him, then looks at Lane.
“You should be more respectful.” Lane says, tipping her head. “He’s been through a lot, and he’s earned his place as our leader.”
“Yeah. I just-“ Kyran starts, then shakes himself off.
“He’s like you. He lost his pack, too. And now he might lose his little sister. Try to be a little sympathetic.” Lane suggests. Kyran shrugs and plops back down in the snow, pretending to be asleep.
************************
He looks out across the snowy plains. He’s finally free. The cold wind ruffles his fur, and the stars twinkle over his head, as though welcoming him back into the world. Now he has a mission to complete. His paws tingle. His belly is full after his successful hunting, and he’s warm and content for once in a long time. He doesn’t like being this close to the mountain, his prison, but he’ll be moving off soon. To the West. Yes, he has big plans. And his plans never go uncompleted. There’s only one problem though. How can he control his Rage enough to carry out his plans? Because if he starts, ya know, randomly killing things, that would throw everything off. Well, he’ll have to try. He’s different, different then the real Rages. Because he has the cure.
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Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello there, this fine Review Day! I'm busy tackling various works without any reviews, and so there's a disproportionate amount of unreviewed later chapters of novels floating around, which is sad. Very sad. And so, while I haven't read previous chapters, hopefully I'll point out some helpful things in this review. Hopefully.
That said, the first thing that caught my eye was the lack of spacing in between paragraphs. When posting stuff online, putting a space in between blank paragraphs makes text easier to read, and not having that space causes your text to look all scrunched up together into one evil mass of black and white, which really isn't inviting to your readers. It might be a pain to go through the effort of re-formatting things just to post them, but your readers will really appreciate it if you do. Really. It makes your writing much more inviting and friendly to your readers.
The period after nice should actually be a comma, which is an error you have throughout this piece. This lovely article by Demeter covers the different ways punctuation is used in dialogue. There are a couple of other articles on the topic in the Grammar and Research section of this site's Knowledge Base that also cover the topic, which you might find helpful.
The "ya know" right in there feels completely out of place. It's way, way too casual.
Overall, this wasn't bad. You managed to use the present tense pretty well, which was nice. A lot of the dialogue tags were a bit repetitive in structure, namely "talking-verb adverb" combos. You might want to cut down on that particular structure, since it made the dialogue tags stand out and distract from the actual dialogue.
Since I haven't read earlier parts, I really can't say much about the characters or other things, except that this Rage disease reminded me of rabies.