Destiny started the interrogation with Mrs.Willams.She started by asking "When was the last time you saw Mr.Williams?". Mrs.Williams repiled "Around 4.30 A.M, I got up and saw him waking up. we have a habit to get up by 4.30 and start our day early. I was going to our tea room to check whether our cats were up." "Hmmm, when you saw him did you notice anything strange in his behaviour was there any change in his habits?" she asked. "No he was behaving normaly and there were no changes in his habits either. But he was stressed."she replied
"What do you mean stressed? You just said there was no change in his behaviour." asked Destiny with a frown. "Being stressed was normal for him ever since he suffered a huge loss in his buiness which almost got us on the streets. Though we recovered financially the idea of us ending up on the streets had him stressed and worried continuously." she said as her eyes started to glisten with tears. "Okay Mrs.Williams thanks for your time if we have any other questions we will come again." said Destiny as she and her crew left the room and left Mrs.Williams sobbing in the room.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hii HOPE U LIKE IT SO FAR CH-4 COMING SOON!!
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hi hello!
Haven't read the other parts but here I am anyway xd
The first thing that strikes me is that you should work on your punctuation. There needs to be a space between a period and the next word. Stuff like that.
Also, never be ashamed to run your stories through a spellchecker. Saved me a bunch too!
I like that Mrs Williams has cats :3 Also, poor woman. It feels a bit like the room was very crowded while she's been interrogated and yet no one had a word of comfort for her.
Hope they can at least figure out who killed Mr Williams!
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the morbid S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Destiny interrogates Mrs. Williams and learns that she last saw Mr. Williams around 4: 30 AM. Nothing changed in his behavior, so something is still up, but…what?
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - You forgot to put in a period for “She replied”, but that’s just one little thing.
Chocolate Bar - I like that Destiny is diligent and keeps asking Mrs. Williams questions, it shows that she takes her job very seriously! I also like how it seems like she and her crew are very close with each other, as having a good friendship is key to doing their job effectively. If they weren’t very close, there would be fighting and things wouldn’t go well…
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a lovely chapter! I am interested to see more of the characters’ personalities and how they will handle things, also in finding who killed Mr. Williams, but I believe that this will come up in Chapter Four and many other chapters, if that won’t be the final one. I’ll be sure to check for any updates and…
I wish you a stunningly beautiful day/night!