Dear Diary,
Spring is here!
In a few days ,
Summer will be near.
In a few months,
Fall will appear...
Day by day,
As I grow tall,
I notice my friends becoming small.
They no longer have their leaves
Instead of growing stronger,
I hear them scream in agony.
The echoes of their screams
Make me wonder...
Whether the same will happen to me?
Will I too disappear,
And never reappear?
Oh God save me!
But then I remembered,
I am a Pine Tree!
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Goodmorning SMulki! Here again to leave a review.
I love poems that write from another POV, I find them so fun and able to explore a new avenue of creativity by getting into a "mindset" different from our own.
First, let me start on the title and content of the poem. The title makes it seem like this poem will be on a more serious tone, and upon beginning to read the poem, we are hit with a contrast as the diary entry starts on a more lighthearted note. However, as the poem goes on, we see the tree begin to reflect and ponder more on their life as they observe the lives of those around them. As the tree begins to be shaken by fear, it comes to the realization that they are a tree and therefore ends it on a "lighthearted" note again.
I think it would be interesting to play around with the title so that way it doesn't reveal that the narrator is a tree, that way when the reader gets to the last line, they have to do a double-take and makes the reader perceive the poem differently!
Next, I want to talk about the structure and rhyme of the poem. To me, everything flowed wonderfully. The rhyme is clean, and I didn't feel as though I was disrupted while reading any of the lines. My only suggestion would be to break the poem up into stanza's once the rhyme scheme changes, in order to display a separation of rhyme and perhaps a change in tone.
Other notes: I like how the poem is in italics to emphasize that it's a diary entry! It's a nice artistic touch.
I really enjoyed the playfulness this poem brought. I think poetry should be fun, and this poem is fun. Thanks for sharing and keep writing! <3
Oh man… I adore the very subtle mood shift that occurs in the middle, and you don’t even notice the downward spiral until the Pine Tree brings us back to chirpy happiness. The imagery is poignant, becoming visible when the tree describes the height difference, and I saw the world from the top just like they do. This also, for me, has a double meaning. It immediately brings me to watching the people I love become jagged and irresponsible over time, and this poem BEAUTIFULLY captures the hopelessness you’d feel. I get very cartoon horror vibes from this work and I just wanted to applaud you. Love it !!