My Sunshine

So I wrote this in my 9th grade creative writing class. I know this could use a lot of work but tell me what you think and if you could help that would be great. Thank you! :-)

It was a perfect summer night, my girlfriend Aven and I had finished our date off with a walk on the beach. I was about to kiss her goodnight on her doorstep, a simple gesture that I couldn’t wait to finally do again. Then she told me she still loved me. I so badly wanted to tell her “I still love you too Aven” since I hadn’t been able to see her for two years because she left but instead I stopped, brought my hands down from her soft face and said-

“I’m sorry Aven but I can’t say that yet. I hope you can understand. I will explain later I promise, Sunshine.” I said with a pleading look hoping she believed me. And using her nickname to soften her a little. Then I turned and left her alone on her doorstep. It took all of me to not turn back around and run back to her but I had to stay strong. She had been back for a week now since her second year at Cal U ended. She finally let me take her on a date again, and told me why she had left but I panicked and ran when she told me she loved me still. I am on auto pilot the whole way home and don’t realize I am home until I am in my bed. Sleeping, though, does not come easily but eventually I drift off, replaying the events of that evening.

I wake up the next morning thinking; I have never felt so foolish in my 20 years of life and I hope to never feel so foolish again. We had dated since we were fourteen until she left for two years. How could I have reacted to her in that way? It’s not like I am scared of the feelings she has for me. In fact, I reciprocate them; I did then, too. But now she probably thinks I hate her and won’t take her back because she left me which is the complete opposite of what I want but I can’t tell her how I really feel again. Not until I tell her the thing I did when she was gone those two lonely years; after she just left me. It is not the worst I could have done but I know she won’t be happy. I just hope she still loves me after I tell her…. Especially after what she told me. I have to tell her today if I wait too long I may lose her again forever.

I finally get up and take a shower hoping she will talk to me today because I need to explain that way we can go back to the way we were. I don’t try calling or texting her because I want to talk to her in person. On the way back over to her house I go over what I am going to say hoping she will hear me out in the first place. As I get to her house I am really nervous I park my truck and sit for a moment to gather my courage. After a minute I walk to her front porch and knock on her door but her mom answers with a very unwelcome face. I instantly feel the guilt bubbling up in my stomach again. I really need to talk to Aven and hope she with forgive me. Like I have forgiven her for when she left me –although it was a misunderstanding. My horrible x-girlfriend Candice had convinced her she was just a charity case, that no one would actually date her because they loved her, and that I was going to break up with her later that day and she was just warning Aven so she wouldn’t get hurt. And Aven being Aven she believed her and she left me before I ‘broke up’ with her. I wish she would have talked to me about because I love her so much and those two years away from her tore me apart. She is my one and only Sunshine, and we were planning on going to college together… Aven’s mom clears her throat pulling me from my thoughts.

“I’m sorry, can I talk to Aven?” I ask.

“No she is still asleep right now I’m sorry.” She replies with no hesitation like she had gone over it in her head a couple of times.

“Please I really need to explain why I just left her after our date. She means so much to me and I can’t lose her again she needs to know I still feel the same way.” I plead carefully not saying I love her because I want Aven to be the first one to hear it when I say it again.

“Ok fine but only because I know you’re being honest and won’t lie when it comes to my daughter but if she asks you just pushed past me.” She says with a small smile on her face, I knew she always liked me. And I smile back but when I walk in my nerves surface again and my smile fades.

She is sitting on the sofa in the living room staring at the television but not actually watching it. She hasn’t notice me yet so I take the time to see if she is ok but my hopes that she is are quickly crushed. She is wearing sweats and an old t-shirt, her cheeks are tear stained and her eyes are red and puffy. She still looks so beautiful even though it breaks my heart to know I caused that pain. Just then she looks up as if she felt me watching her.

“What are you doing here Jeremy?” She instantly accuses, her voice kind of shaky like she is on the verge of crying again and I feel even worse.

“I’m sorry I know I really hurt you by just walking away last night but I just want you to listen to what I have to say... Please Aven.” I beg.

“Why? I confess my love for you again thinking you still feel the same way because you went through all that trouble to just take me on a first date again and then you went through more trouble with our perfect date and you say you can’t and you will explain later then you just leave...” She says angrily tears now streaming down her face and I want to wipe them away and hold her tight in my arms.

“I know and if you listen to me I will explain I’m so sorry about last night but I have a reason.” I feel so bad and I just want to tell her I love her and hold her again but I know I have to tell her she deserves to know even if we weren’t dating then.

“Fine but only because I know you won’t leave until you tell me.” Aven says sounding exhausted. This is not going well but I know I hurt her so what did I actually expect. But she is right I won’t leave until she hears all I have to say.

“Okay can we go outside and sit on the porch swing.” I say wanting it to be just us and I know that is one of her favorite places to think.

“Ok.” She replies walking out to her back porch. And I follow wondering how she will react. When we both sit down it is quiet for a moment then I start talking knowing I am going to have to her sooner or later might as well get it over with.

“Aven I never wanted to hurt you when I left last night but I did something when you were gone. It might hurt you and I want you to know that is not why I did it. You being hurt is that last thing I ever want. But I started to date Candice…” I paused for a second and look at her. She has tears falling down her cheeks and is looking out to her backyard so I continue “it was a two months after you left, and when you being gone had hit me the hardest but it was only for a month. I was so broken after you left and had no idea why you did. She was there and being so nice I missed you so much and she made me forget. And last night when I didn’t tell you ‘I love you’ back it was because I wanted to tell you this first I wanted everything out in the open because I love you Aven Tuttle and I have never stopped.”

I look at her again. This time she is looking at me too but still has tears falling down her cheeks. We stay looking at each other for a couple minutes. I look into her eyes and try to see what emotions are flowing through her but she has a blank face; leaving me unknowing.

“Say something please Aven.” I plead wanting to know that we are okay.

“I can’t believe she is the person you went to after I left or that you went to anyone.” She replies and her voice is shaky giving away her emotions- sad and upset.

“I know and I’m really sorry but you just up and left, giving me not so much as a text. I was broken and didn’t think you would ever come back.” A look of guilt flashes in her eyes.

“I just had to distance myself I believed her.” She laughs sadly sounding like she still does believe her. “How could I not she was right you could do so much better than me. I didn’t want to leave but I thought if I did you would just forget about me as soon as I left so it wouldn’t matter. And if I wouldn’t have left I would have had to go through what I thought was a break-up and still be in this town seeing you- us everywhere.”

“And I told you there is no way she could ever be right because you are the most intelligent, beautiful woman and anyone would be stupid not to love you. I did make a mistake and so did you, I wouldn’t have dated her if I had known what she did to you.”

“I know that now- now that I explained why I left, now that you took me on a date and made the fact that I love you come to the forefront of my mind like a neon sign.” She says with a hint of a smile; nothing like her bright full faced happy smiles but it’s a start.

“I hope you really do believe me, Aven, about everything- about Candice; that I even dated her at all, and that I am sorry- and I hope you forgive me. Because life is terrible without sunshine- my sunshine.”

“I do though I am a little mad but I know why you did it and I’m sorry for leaving and believing her.” She said with her head on my chest.

“It’s ok.” I say running my fingers threw her hair. “Can we promise not to let her or anyone for that matter to get in between us again?” I ask.

“Yes, I promise.” She says looking up at me tightening her arms that are wrapped around my waist. And I smile looking down at her. I missed her so much.

“I am so happy I finally get to hold you again, Sunshine. You mean the world to me. And I love you so much Aven.” I say as I drop a kiss on her nose.

“I love you too, baby.” She replies smiling at me.