Young Writers Society

E - Everyone


by RossiRainCloud

I love puppies!

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284 Reviews

Points: 4250
Reviews: 284

Mon Jun 26, 2017 9:12 pm
RubyRed says...

Hahahahahaha, Rossi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

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435 Reviews

Points: 5743
Reviews: 435

Mon Jun 26, 2017 9:09 pm
Wolfi wrote a review...

Hello Rossi!

Well, I do too. Puppies are wonderful.

There isn't much for me to critique here but I have to say that you did a great job with the mystery/suspense aspect of this piece. I was practically on the edge of my seat for the .05 seconds it took for my browser to load this work after I had clicked on it in the Green Room. Because it is labeled "Other," I didn't know what to expect!

Oh, it's just a sentence. Not a clever poem or anything about something I so adore - tiny adorable canines - but a sentence. Ah, well. At least it's truthful.

After glancing at your wall, I can see that it is none other than RubyRed that convinced you to write this, although I'm sure she was expecting you to write more than just three words. Four, if you count the title.

If you are so in need of ideas, I would recommend reviewing! You might get inspiration from something you read along the way, and you'll also get points of course for posting the fruits of your inspiration.

Best wishes,

IrisNight says...

sorry to disappoint you with this peace, yes RubyRed told me to write something about puppies, sorry again, maybe some other time I will write a long one to make up for this :D

IrisNight says...

HAHA, I just popped in to randomly reply, how you been wolf? :D

Lol Ace, anyway, I actually was going to write another longer one tomorrow, :D

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1081 Reviews

Points: 220
Reviews: 1081

Mon Jun 26, 2017 9:02 pm
Virgil wrote a review...

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review!

So I'm unsure of what you meant this literary work to be. There's a chance that you didn't know how to take down the work or private it to other people so you decided to replace it with a title of 'Puppies' and just add 'I love puppies!' though I can also see this being a joke work posted. I guess I can see how this is Mystery and Suspense since we didn't know what to expect from the title though I see this as being more humorous if you posted this with serious intentions.

I saw on your wall that you said you were going to write about puppies though I'm unsure if this is the whole work or if this is unfinished. If this is unintentionally posted, you can go ahead and hit the edit button and either unpublish it for now or put it on private (I can give you 200 points if it's the former because this isn't what 200 points should be spent on in my opinion and I have way too many points).

You could've also forgotten to copy and paste the rest of the work if this is actually supposed to be longer. Though, taking this seriously--I guess I could've felt suspense from this. I would've liked if you added more substance and touched on the subject matter of puppies more though since this is pretty brief.

You're not going to win me over just by saying 'I love puppies!' because it'll take more than that. If this is a joke literary work then I suggest adding more and putting some more effort into the joke because right now this is pretty standard or unoriginal. Explain why you love puppies. Get into the puppers and doggos and doges if you want to expand, which I suggest you do. Overall I wanted more since this literary work is three words long and didn't do much to entertain the reader, so try that out in future edits.

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.


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760 Reviews

Points: 31396
Reviews: 760

Mon Jun 26, 2017 8:59 pm
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ExOmelas wrote a review...

Well, hello there. Obviously I am going to get extremely little out of this as a review, but I am here on behalf of the After Watch, keeping the Green Room clear in the wake of Review Day, so goddammit I'm going to get at least 100 characters out of this.

The first thing I'm going to do is take this completely seriously.

You have made an interesting choice in describing this as "mystery/suspense". Had I noticed this before I clicked on it (I was rushing to clear the Green Room) I would have been in suspense about what sort of mystery involves puppies, and vaguely worried that it was going to involve puppy murder. I mean, you understand, you love puppies. Puppy murder is very very bad. So good meta there.

Secondly, what I say to any work that is shorter than I might like. Give me more to care about. I too love puppies, so so what. Make me care about you. What's so special about your love for puppies that it warrants a work?

Alternatively, maybe I'm a reader who doesn't love puppies? As a reader who does love puppies I can tell you that it's very important to show non-puppy lovers how awesome puppies are. Be more descriptive here. Maybe some imagery, or some good memories you have of puppies.

That's pretty much all I can say here.

Go Team After Watch!

Why do we only rest in peace? Why don't we live in peace too?
— Alison Billet