Brother

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

I dreamt of mother becoming pregnant before we found out about you, you know. But those were just dreams and so I dismissed them, and told our mother and my stepfather, your daddy, that it was unlikely they could have children as mother nears forty and pregnancy becomes increasingly difficult to achieve as time goes on. But secretly I hoped alongside them that I would be proven wrong.

Mother became pregnant before you, but she lost the baby. We mourned the loss, and are still to some extent mourning. Years later, she met your daddy and now you are growing within mother's womb. Within months, she will birth you and we shall finally meet you face to face.

Dearest brother, words cannot describe the affection and hope I have for you. You are the future.

Mother says you are an energetic one, that you kick more often than I ever did. We joke sometimes about how you will be my polar opposite. I was a quiet child, but you seem likely to be a loud one. Will you have a temper, I wonder? Will you be everything I was and am not, I also wonder? I hope so. Though mother loves me, I know how I have greatly disappointed her on more than one occasion.

Mother and stepfather will doubtless tell you about how often I lied. From hidden test grades to silly little things, deception has left a mark on my soul that will haunt me forever. An addiction, I think I have developed to lying, and I pray you will not be like me in that regard. Or any regard, for that matter. I am so lazy, brother. Please do not become like me. Tell the truth. Do not hide anything from mother as I have. Do not be lazy like me. My mistakes cannot be undone, but I can prevent others from making them and so I beg of you not to follow in my footsteps.

I am not the role model you should seek, nor the one you deserve. Love and respect me as your sister, but do not view me as a role model. Look at your parents and other relatives, but not me. I dare not corrupt you with my flaws. Whatever flaws you develop, let them be nothing like my own.

I write this because I love you, brother. And I want you to do better in life than I.

I cannot wait to meet you, to hold you in my arms, to sing you lullabies, to babysit you while mother and stepfather are at work, to teach you to be better.

I pray that we will indeed be polar opposites, that your personality shall completely contrast mine, and that you will be the pride of our family that I have failed to be.

A touching piece. I'm not surprised that you had written this/based it on your own life, because there's something about putting your own emotions into your writing that transfers to the reader. It's like we have a sense that tells us when something is authentic and when it's not.

It's like when you can tell the writer was excited or having fun writing a specific scene. It's an odd thing, but something I've noticed happens, and certainly happened here.

When people make short fiction, I love that they put these emotional punches in it. The last line is a crucial piece of this, and yours is a great example of it.

I really like "and that you will be the pride of our family that I have failed to be." This kind of contrast in a single sentence is something that I do a fair amount myself, and something I really enjoy reading.

Thanks for sharing this, it was a nice read.

Hello RoseTulipLily, do you have time to read this review?

I love how you wrote this to your unborn brother and how much emotions you put in your work. When you talked about how he shouldn't look up to you reminds me of myself and my younger sister. She is three years younger then me and always look up to me. There be times I did something stupid and she doses the same.

I don't concerned myself to someone you should look up to, sure I'm quite all the time and I stay in my bed all the time, but those are exactly what you shouldn't learn from me. I don't speak up, I watch things happen without doing anything, and I'm too heard on myself because of it.

Your story is too relatable for me and I love it! Your a amazing writer and you know what you are doing! The only thing I ask you is to use other words like "mom" or "mommy" especially when your gonna use "mother" frequently. Other then that it's wonderful and you should try to be the role model you want him to look up to.

Hey RoseTulipLily! It's ScytheMeister here for a quick review

First of all, I must say this amazing and utterly beautiful! It truly captured the thoughts of an older sibling. It was relatable for me; I had almost the same thought process as my mother carried my younger brother (who sadly, did not make it) and it was interesting to read something with similar characteristics.

I loved the way the girl was talking almost directly to the younger brother, even although he was not born yet she had such a strong sense of love and compassion that was admirable.

There were no faults in grammar, from what I could see. So, awesome job! I loved this piece

Keep Writing! <3

- ScytheMeister

That was so good and emotional. You have really captured the emotion. Well done. Keep writing!

Such a touching piece....reminds me 'bout my brother whom I lost at a very early age.But he seemed to have left a mark in me.I cling to that maybe that's the only thing I've got of him.
Your writing is just so emotional RoseTulipLily!!!.Loved it!!!<3

-Lily^_^

I cried. This was just so emotional. The only thing I will point out is when you wrote "Mother and stepfather will doubtless tell you about how often I lied." The word doubtless does not seem to fit the sentence nicely. Other than that I have nothing else to say about this story besides you did an absolutely amazing job. This is just so sweet, yet heartbreaking g and relatable from the readers point of view some times as in mine. This is truly amazing and I want to tell you that you should not give up on writing ever. I hope this small review helps you

I cried. This was just so emotional. The only thing I will point out is when you wrote "Mother and stepfather will doubtless tell you about how often I lied." The word doubtless does not seem to fit the sentence nicely. Other than that I have nothing else to say about this story besides you did an absolutely amazing job. This is just so sweet, yet heartbreaking g and relatable from the readers point of view some times as in mine. This is truly amazing and I want to tell you that you should not give up on writing ever. I hope this small review helps you