Silence…. It’s deep.
Sometimes I wonder if depths call to me… in a language my soul understands… if those voices are calling me to wake up when I sit silence… I like walking alone in peace… in places where memories linger like silent whispers… in forests where no footprint has been printed… in silence. Silence speaks more than any human ever did…
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
I really like this poem. It sounds great! And so dark.
"Silence…. It’s deep."
It's true. Silence can tell a lot even if it doesn't speak.
"Sometimes I wonder if depths call to me… in a language my soul understands…"
I fully understand it. I think a lot of people think about it. The human is too shallow to understand but our soul? No. It's perfect for the calls od depths.
"if those voices are calling me to wake up when I sit silence…"
It's like when you're trying so hard to move but you feel paralyzed. And just can't but you hope for something to change. For something to happen.
"I like walking alone in peace… in places where memories linger like silent whispers… in forests where no footprint has been printed… in silence. Silence speaks more than any human ever did…"
The narrator sounds melancholic. Nostalgic even. The narrator loves the silence cause it's so powerfull. And it's true. The silence is our dearest friend when the world doesn't listen.
Overall I love this poem!
Helloo!!! This is a wonderful piece; it introduces the impact of silence in a way that isn't overly complicated or needs to over-explains itself—instead, it uses casual experiences such as walking alone as an example of this power of silence that can resonate to the reader. This way of saying silence has these "depths" and it's own "language" or "voices" gives so much weight to the topic that is silence. It really helps establishing that silence isn't just this hollow, quiet thing but this entity that can transcend human communication and "speak" to you.
Though, I do think some adjustments to this work could make the impact even more bigger than it is.
I feel this sentence is too blatant for the beginning. I feel the reader could gather this thought as they read through the lyrics, and that thought could be established in the end as a conclusion. Let the reader *feel* how silence is deep through this description of silence and these experiences that resonate, so they themselves can get how deep it is without being *told* it's deep first—until the ending, as that would establish what the reader has drawn to as a conclusion.
Perhaps, the first line would work better as "Silence..."; It would add to the wonder and questioning from the speaker that's throughout the passage, while also introducing you to these later thoughts about the power of silence without telling the reader.
Also in general, I feel the impact would be more bigger if this was written as stanzas, however this format is fine as it is!
this line could probably benefit from another word being placed: "when i sit in silence"
These are my favorite lines! To describe memories in this way is just very powerful!
Other than some criticisms, this piece is so great!! The prose doesn't need to overly extend itself with larger or abstract words to be poetic—which adds to it's casual quality to its prose, thus reaches to the reader but also compels them to something beyond what's casual. Great piece!! Keep writing!!!
Hello! It’s CATS here to leave a review! The description of this is carried a powerful energy that lured me in. The title was nice too! So let’s dive in.
The first sentence gives us the point about what it’s about. The ... really is creative! It’s the narrators thoughts trailing off after each one. Maybe delete the fourth “.” Because there is suppose to be three? Like “...”
it’s really good!
The wonder is clear in the narrators vivid voice. It’s like speaking out to the reader in the language...of silence. Talking about how powerful silence can be. It can give you dominance over other people. It speaks louder than words. Silence.
That part speaks out to me and is my favourite!
Maybe you can make stanzas but that’s just me.
Overall I really loved this poem that you did. It’s so powerful and energetic on a very unique way!
Happy EVERYTHING!!!
Love,
CATS