Suppression Of Expression

Hi, Renard. This is Margo for a review. This poem is very powerful; very emotive. You have succeeded in making the reader ache for the narrator. This person is in a relationship where only he/she experiences love for his/her partner. Unrequited love is tragic: this much you have shown.

I really like the way this line sounds:
"Bleeding on the page to the sound of trash" <--I'm just not sure what trash is supposed to be referring to. The music this person is listening to?

"I’m bleeding to you, not for you" <--- it is almost as though this person is 'stuck' in their relationship. Perhaps confused about the way they feel?

Because this narrator has expressed a desire to end his/her life as well as the relationship, the last line "this ends here" has a certain ambiguity to it. I like it.

Very sad, and very well written.

I would comment on structure but since this is in other and it kinda looks like poetry but it could be prose and its double spaced I really don't know what going on but I kind of like it but it's kind of confusing. So I guess your 'stanza' structure is okay? The line structure is fine though so that's good.

I don't know if this was a piece written because you couldn't think of anything to write or if there is a point to it. I'm hoping it's not the latter because I could really see a point at all.

Another thing is that using the word 'nihilistic' seemed a bit off. That was the only uncommon vocabulary word used in this entire piece and you could have explained the idea with common words just fine.

I did like how honest this was though. For example:

"Looking at others happy makes me sick"

We've all been there an we all know how that feels. It's stated simply but has a bigger being and I really like that.

Overall I feel like this was just a bit info dump of things you feel and things you think and not much else. It has potential don't get me wrong but you just have to do something with it to make it have a point.

Also it would be good if you just clean up the structure and made it either a poem or a story. I think it would work better as a poem but the call is yours. That way it wouldn't be so awkward to read and flow better.

Hey, Laure here to review!

Suppression of expression, the title drew me in already and I was pleasantly surprised by what you’ve written. This seems like a stream-of-consciousness poem to me, a poem of dark thoughts and your inner feelings written out.
I cannot really criticize since it is so personal, but I will tell you this. Is a very powerful, well-written poem.