Young Writers Society

Hi!

I like how it went. Morbid when you take it in a symbolized way. The plot was strangely interesting. The ending's a bit hanging and insightful. Nice symbolism. A slice of life poetry. This really happens for some people. The parents are having a hard time earning money but still spend for unnecessities, and children not listening to their parents doing otherwise what they were told not to do. It's really unhealthy for a family to have such conflict reason (regarding with family income where uncertainty will be setting in about the future) and truth be told, others ended up like the lobster girl. I very much like it. It was nicely written using one's own writing style. Looking forward for more good reads. Keep it cool.

Hello there!
Even though it said it was horror, my mind wasn't thinking horror. xD I thought it would be nice or sad but nooo.

Okay. I like it in terms of plot, but at the same time it's a bit weird. All ahe likes is taking hot showers? And she doesn't care that the water bill is huge and there's nothing to eat? In the line about her father and mother, it's easy to see that it's not a great family, but I still want to know a bit more about Lobster Girl because she seems kind of flat and strange.

For the most part, the length and rhyme of your lines is fine, but there are just a few places I'd like to mention.

Lobster Girl liked the showers and it's how she could control the heat at will.

Lobster Girl ignored their usual threats, she saw no immediate danger.

On one evening they have not a bite to eat,

Except the one shriveled, and moldy half a beet.

Lobster Girl took her shower, the usual boiling hot.

Her parents decided to eat her, she screamed just like a lobster in the pot.

I wasn't expecting that morbid turn. Very nice.

I love this, right off the bat I love this rough draft. I love how it's morbid, I love how it's beautifully poetic and I love how it flows really nice! Have you ever heard of the lobster man? I was kind of expecting almost something like that but I was happily proved wrong! I love how it was inspired by Tim Burton as well! sorry this isn't much of a review and more of an overly excited comment but I like this poem, nice writing!