Young Writers Society

Hey there Mem. May I call you Mem?
Anyways it's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.

So I'm not quite sure how to review this because this is a more emotional and personal piece. I'm a bit afraid of messing this up in some way but everything needs two reviews, so I guess I'll try my best.

Overall I really liked the story because it was so emotional and somewhat heartbreaking. I mean that sounds like a really bad reason to like your story but I liked the narrative of everything. And also how it didn't really go in chronological order because it seemed like you were jumping between important thoughts.
^Does any of that make sense? I really hope so.

One thing I should say something about but I'm not sure if it's a style choice or not. There are zero apostrophes in any of the contractions. At first I figured it was just a couple of typos but by the time I got down to the 10th time, I started to think it was just a style choice. So if you could just clear that up for me, that would be great.

Tributes are always nice to read, no matter who the story is being made out to. I recently lost my grandfather to cancer so I can understand what it's like. So sorry for your loss and I hope you are doing better. It's bad that so many people can relate to this certain event but that's the way life goes.

Well I guess that's really about all I have for this collection of comments. Hopefully this will prove helpful to you or at least make you feel better about your piece.
Have a nice day.
Happy RevMo.
Lizzy
The Queen of the Book Clubs

Hi Remembrance!

I'm not going to give a typical review on this because I think with personal pieces, they have to come from the heart and that rawness is part of their beauty. I'm so sorry you lost your dad and I think this is a lovely tribute to him - the memories you share in the piece are very sweet and I think choosing memories of building/ creating things is particularly poignant. Perhaps if you were to write a letter to a loved one which you do plan on giving them, I'd suggest running it through a grammar check but the actual content of this is well chosen and it's easy to tell that these are very special and personal moments between you both!

You should definitely keep this in a safe place somewhere because while it will always be something you find hard to think/ talk about, remembering the people we've loved can be heart warming as well and it helps us to remember that they live on through us.

I think you're very brave to share this and it's good to write about these things.

All the best,

Heather

I know how you feel , my father died two years ago. I completely understand the writing thing, at the start I wanted to tell everyone about it too, I wanted people to know, not for selfish reasons but because I couldn't bare to see his anonymity in death. I'm here if you ever want to talk, and if it has happened recently maybe I could even provide some insight into the further future. I will end with a quote I became fond of recently: "Keep your chin up, someday there will be happiness again." -Brian Bedford

I know how you feel , my father died two years ago. I completely understand the writing thing, at the start I wanted to tell everyone about it too, I wanted people to know, not for selfish reasons but because I couldn't bare to see his anonymity in death. I'm here if you ever want to talk, and if it has happened recently maybe I could even provide some insight into the further future. I will end with a quote I became fond of recently: "Keep your chin up, someday there will be happiness again." -Brian Bedford

Masterpiece.!
More like a real life story!
And yes. I was here to read it