I love you

Hi! I'm recklessandwild. Nice to meet you.

First, I'd like to point out something about grammar. You're missing some periods and commas, so I'd suggest checking over your work multiple times for typos. When you're writing a line of dialogue using quotations, i.e. ""I love you, you beautiful idiot" I tell her."", you have to put a comma after the last work in the quotation marks if you're going to end with something like "I tell her" or "I said".

This article will go into depth what I have told you: http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blo ... gue-part-i

Even though this is flash fiction, it is lacking simple setting. Even just a few lines of it would help the reader out and strengthen your writing tremendously. I'd also like to see more "show not tell" from you. Instead of saying "I'm surprised", you can say something like "I didn't know what to say, what to think. Could she really have felt this way about me?"

Another helpful article is this: http://www.foremostpress.com/authors/ar ... _tell.html

Also, the time period change was choppy and confusing: "In another conversation a few months previous she revealed her deepest secret with me". Perhaps brush up on that part.

Besides that, good job. Keep writing.

-recklessandwild

Hey Amnesia! I am Kriti.
Starting with the title, it was very catchy which, candidly speaking, compelled me to read it...Well the story is too short, but that would have been perfectly fine if it would have had a different end, I don't mean to say that the last line isn't nice, but I wish there was something more to it.. The part when the girl says that the friendship meant much more to her and then he falls in love with her is really sweet.
There could have been a bit of more feelings portrayed. Anyways, overall it was a simple, sweet and short. I would actually hope for more romantic stories rife with emotions and love..!

Keep writing

A short-story that ended too quickly!

A story that led me to ask for a more that wasn't there! Perhaps, he needs to reopen the case! Or has he given up?

Undoubtedly, the author should help these two. They're just one speed-breaker away from a conclusion!

So, won't you help them, Amnesia? Or would you prefer this to be a mystery within a romance?

Hey I'm here to review well there was no reason for me to say that but you know I just said.
So, I loved how you kept your title simple but meaningful and attractive.
I was sad it ended so quickly but I love the theme I like the message you convey too 'Say what you want to say to someone before it's too late ' I guess that's what you were trying to say. I think it could use a little more emotion in showing his love to him and a few dialogues of them as best friends and things like that to you know keep the reader on the edge of his seat. Well again a good and short story.

Dear Amnesia,
You are awesome dear friend! Amazing piece of work! A very short story but displays a big picture! I liked your theme a lot! It is so realistic and flawless! The words just flow into sentences and sentences into paragraphs! A few more extra romantic words could have made your story better.
You are an awesome writer! I have become a fan of yours!
All the best! Keep writing and entertaining us!
I am eagerly waiting to read more works by you!

King Here
First of all, hope you excuse me for this very short review but I will still try to be helpful here!
This is a very heart warming and sweet story. I did not expect the story to end like that.
She was in love with him without him knowing, this was the surpring twisting end. I think it shows that we never know what the other may be feeling for us and we need to say what we are feeling for them as soon as possible before it is too late. I was kind of sad at the beginning because he was going to get rejected, my thoughts were like that. But it turned out pretty different. I suggest you to not forget to put the fullstop after the end of each sentence because I noticed that sometimes you put the fullstop on the right place but not do it in the following sentense. So, this is a mistake found here and there. Overall, I think I have no other complains and I really enjoyed your short lovely story to the fullest. Thank you for sharing this with us, the readers, and I hope you keep on writing.

Hello and good morning/afternoon/evening Amnesia! So to start this off I really enjoyed the concept behind this short story as love and what could have been is always a topic worth writing about. Now to the story it self it's just perfect. Plain perfect. I don't really see anything that this story could do to make it better! So keep up the good work and keep on writing!

Heya, Amnesia!!

This is Eros here to review your beautiful short story!!

So, I start my review with the title. The title is very catchy, attractive, and captivating. These all are the characteristics of a good title.

The next thing is the theme of the story. The theme of the story is very beautiful and unique. I like this story. The last sentence spoken by the girl brings in a sharp and a twisty turn in the story. I like the way you have described everything. Your feelings after the last reply of the girl, everything is superb. Moreover the main idea on which the story is based, is awesome.

The next thing which matters the most is the choice of set of the words. I am very happy to say that I liked your choice of set of the words.

As far as I can see, there is no flaw as such. The story flowed very smoothly. Very well done.

Overall, a GREAT work!
It was awesome.
Keep writing...
Never cease...
Because we all love to keep reading such awesome works like this one.
Have a great day/ night!!