what I am about to write is completely true and uncensored. This is just part one of a miniseies of my life so keep an eye out because i intend on sharing my personal story in the hopes that it prevents a child from going through something similar.
Things a child should never see May 1st 2016
It's 9 in the evening when my mother started drinking, its the fourth or fifth time this week. I understand fully what can and most likely happen so i prepare myself for every possibility. At 10 she gets on the phone and starts texing people via facebook. The last time this happened it ended with me hiding in my best friend's closet at 12 in the morning. I turn the internet off knowing that if something jumps off I wont be able to reach anyone for at least 20 minutes if I can hit the switch that is. I am afraid of the person my mom becomes but I stay up with her anyways to prevent anything serious, I prefer this to one of my younger siblings.
At 11 she begins to puke, she pukes up blood and starts repeating the same sentences over and over. I keep asking "where do you have to go?" And i get no answer. At midnight she pukes up the small sip of water i made her drink. I worry about her and try to make her comfortable on the bathroom floor. I run back and forth between checking my 11 year old sister's fever and laying on the bathroom floor listening to my mom cry.
Finally it ends at 2:41 in the morning, I lay next to her on the futon couch in case she needs me to get up. I fall asleep to the sound of her favorite show thats playing on the televison. Kate's fever broke at 2 am and she finally fell asleep.
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Hey there Amnesia! Happy Review Day! I hope all is well.
Little Things
Don't forget to capitalize the first word of the sentence! ^u^ And oh my, this increases my anticipation for what you're about to say. It must be serious.
I think you meant *miniseries, and I would also capitalize that "I" before intend. In regards to the actual content though, that's very noble of you to be sharing your story. Thank you for doing so.
Is this supposed to be like a title? Maybe capitalize it? So it reads more like "Things a Child Should Never See: May 1st, 2016."
It seems like you're going for present tense, so I'd change "started" to "starts." Add "and."
Just some little fixes: capitalization, punctuation, splitting sentences into two, etc. If you have questions as to why I made my corrections and suggestions feel free to ask!
Big Things
This is a really short piece, but it really does pack a punch. You very clearly told us the reality of your situation without sugarcoating it at all - and I think that's what makes it really powerful, especially so for people who are able to relate to your life and situation. To hear that they're not alone is probably just as comforting as this is a release for you to talk about it.
It's very brave of you to be so open. So thank you for doing so!
I do think though, that because it's so short, that this might actually be more impactful paired together with the other pieces you plan on writing for the miniseries. Perhaps you could post them all in one, but with different titles, like you did here with the: "Things a Child Should Never Hear or See." That would be really cool to see.
Thank you so much for writing this, and I hope you keep writing!
-Sound
This is a very well written and deep piece. Actually, it brought tears to my eyes because it's a topic I hate to see people go through. One of my best friends went through his father drinking 24/7 and he was abusive. My best friend dealt with him for years like that. He couldn't handle it any longer and commit suicide, leaving his father for me to deal with. Although I do not know what this is personally like, I do know it must be hard. You fill this piece with emotion that really makes you feel.
Great job :')