Hey, I love this! Paints a perfect picture of how some people perceive themselves. Great piece of writing. Keep it up!
A third grader with an overflowing sense of self importance sits on the school bus, leaning against the window. Surrounded by the frenzy of children less important than him, he contemplates his existence, the meaning of life, and the ignorance of his fellow classmates.The other children who were so inferior to him could be robots, or soulless creatures fueled by animalistic desires. They could be slaves or servants, mindless parts of the societal system. Of course, with his limited vocabulary and knowledge, his thoughts were expressed in a more limited way.
“They’re stupid,” he says to his smug reflection in the glass. Surely only a being of infinite wisdom would be able to make such a sound judgement on the actions of their classmates. The boy assures himself that he is Special, The One, Super, Different, Important, More. He is Worthy of capitalization of words used to describe him. He is the protagonist of the books he reads, the character who may appear ordinary at first but is secretly worthy of a whole book, maybe even a whole series!
A bright idea pops into his superhuman brain. If he does his homework on the bus, the other kids will know how smart he is and will respect him! He pulls out his homework dramatically, attracting the attention of a nearby classmate. She watches as he gathers his paper, pencil, and wits in preparation for his homework. Pencil ready, he whispered to himself in a whisper that failed to be a whisper.
“Hmm, first problem. . . 3 times 8. Ha! Easy, it's 26. Dumb homework.”
The girl watching him corrects him. Face burning from embarrassment, he returns to looking at his reflection in the glass, which now shows him the truth. He is not Special. He is stupid.
Hey, I love this! Paints a perfect picture of how some people perceive themselves. Great piece of writing. Keep it up!
This is completely try and I know how this little boy feels. Uh...I mean, this is great. 
Congrats!
This is completely try and I know how this little boy feels. Uh...I mean, this is great. Congrats!
An interesting piece RedVines, though not usually my sort of thing, I actually really enjoyed it.
Your first couple of sentences summarise the character really well and for such a short work I do actually feel sorry the boy. Everyone wants to think they're special, in a way, he's lucky that he figured that out in the third grade (I know adults that still haven't worked that one out).
Like another reviewer mentioned, I feel that the ending is very rushed. After word count though, I realise that this story is 298 words so I assume you have given yourself a limit of 300? But it is worth fixing as it does take away from the story as a whole.
You manage to keep the text simple and jovial which is great for this peace, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, as a former Maths teacher, I enjoyed his failed attempt at the equation.
A minor and maybe personal point from me would be not to use things like 'hmm' in dialogue, I dislike reading this sort of thing as it makes me feel as though I'm reading a comic book.
Overall I think I really good job and keep it up.
This is a pretty funny generalization of how most third graders act and think. Bluntly, the boy is made out to be dumb, egotistical and smug. The only part I don't really like is the end. I think it was too sudden for lack of a better word. It might have been better if you actually "acted out" the girl leaning over towards him, tapping his shoulder and correcting him. But besides that this is an entertaining short passage, pretty neat.
Hello there!
I'm trying to get back into the swing of reviewing, so hopefully this will turn out okay!
This story of yours has quite an intense feeling of... self loathing...? I found it interesting, because most writers try to get people to feel sorry for their characters, or amazed by their characters, or scared, or surprised by their thoughts and actions, but you waited until the end to grab us with pity(?). I'm not sure that that's in your favour much, but it certainly interesting, and I think you pulled it off pretty good.
A third grader with an overflowing sense of self importance sits on the school bus, leaning against the window.
He is the protagonist of the books he reads
Pencil ready, he whispered to himself in a whisper that failed to be a whisper.
Remember the protagonist line I liked? That's what this line needs. 
Hey! ChocolateCello here!
Okay, so just a few minor things to point out.
First off, everything would look a lot nicer indented. I've never mastered the skill of indenting on YWS but when I write I just put five spaces or so at the beginning of each paragraph.
Okay, so this is a little embarrassing to admit, but my sleep deprived, still in 'summer-mode' self read over '3 times 8. Ha! Easy, its 26', did a bit of speed math to reassure myself that 3x8 was indeed within the 20 range and jumped to the conclusions that the answer was, in fact, 26. Now, it wasn't until the next line until I sat, feeling like a total idiot, realizing that the fact I had assumed true, was false. Just a suggestion, maybe write is as "The girl watching him corrects him, '24'." so the poor fools like myself, who failed to catch the mistake in the third-graders math, don't have to take a second to work out the answer. (Gosh, I'm seriously going to fail math this year if I didn't catch that) Also, " Easy, its 26." 'its' should be 'it's'
Last thing. 'Stupid homework.' I get what the kid is saying but I feel like 'stupid' is quite the right word. It's not like the homework has an mind. Maybe something like... Actually, I can't think of anything. Maybe just leave it... There really isn't a good word to replace stupid so leave it how it is.
I really liked this story. It was short, sweet, and it made me laugh. I especially like the last like where he drops the capitalized description, I could feel the shame.
Keep writing!
-ChocolateCello
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