After a long cold winter, the first warm and sunny day couldn’t be more beautiful. We ignore the sunburns and sweating and pretend that it’s perfect, this is what we’ve been waiting for because at least its better than six more months of frostbiting cold. So we smile and dig out our shorts and sunglasses. We show off our glowing white legs for the first time since last September and pretend we’re not self conscious of our stretch marks and leg hair and that one scar from when we were nine. Yes, we lie in the sun and enjoy the feeling of ultraviolet light seeping into our skin and we feel the sweat begin to leak out of the strangest places. If only they had antiperspirant for our backs, elbow pits, and the fold of our stomachs. On that first perfect day we feel a little discomfort that our body is all the same temperature. There is no more pleasure gained from warming our toes and fingers or sitting by a fire, only the constant perfect temperature, like taking a bath in lukewarm air. Whether it’s winter sports, winter food, or the comfort of a winter fire, nostalgia creeps us and grabs us as we’re sipping a pink lemonade that’s smarter than us: at least it remembered to bring a cute umbrella to protect it from the sun.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,241 Literary Works • 673,053 Reviews
First of all, the following of what I'm going to say isn't to be taken too offense. I'm only stating my opinion.
Frankly, I didn't find it funny at all. It seemed kind of pointless and I didn't find it interesting.
It doesn't belong in the Humor genre. Also I don't like how it's all blocked together instead of in paragraphs. It's hard to read and it strains my eyes.
Really sorry, but I take humor seriously and this wasn't funny nor does it belong in humor.
The good thing out of this is I didn't see any Grammar issues, there may be a few punctual but I'm no better plus it's nothing serious.
Keep trying despite my review.
Time for Tips:
-Cut it into paragraphs instead of a chunky block of words that hurts to read. It strains the eyes.
-Fix the punctual issues.
-Add humor or remove this from the humor genre.
-Write about something a little more interesting?
-Write, write, write. Practice makes perfect.
That's about it, I hope you think about taking my advice.
Keep on trying!
Sincerely, @ScarletDreams14; Member of Salsa Verde
Writer, Artist, Student and Reader
Hi!! This is a pretty whitty description of summer. It is kind of funny how excited we get on the first even remotely warm day. I have to admit to some confusion about the tempature though. You say that we ignore sunburns and we want an umbrella for shade and then you say the air is lukewarm. I think that maybe a different word should be used to describe the air. I did really like how you likened the air to a bath! very clever. Keep up the good work.
-Kate98