Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Three
Elias
Few words were spoken over supper. Elias wasn’t sure how he should respond to Beau’s “tendencies”. The two men sat by the fireplace like they had the night before, only this time, Beau was on the sofa with Elias, and the two sat as far from each other as possible. Elias noticed Beau stealing glances at him, like he was trying to read his thoughts. Elias could see through the mask that hadn't been there before, Beau trying to act as if he didn’t care that Elias knew a struggle so personal. Beau’s eyes said it all. He was scared. Of what? Elias wasn’t sure. Perhaps Beau was scared of what Elias might be thinking. Or perhaps that he’d overstayed his welcome.
The truth was, Elias felt a sick, twisted relief that Beau was dissatisfied with women. The feeling confused Elias, so he tried to push it down. But curiosity festered within him. Why would he feel like that? It wasn’t something to be glad about. This man played with women’s hearts and couldn’t stop. Finally, Elias turned to Beau. “Why are you dissatisfied?”
“Pardon?” Beau asks, unsure of what exactly Elias is asking.
“Why aren’t you satisfied with women?” Elias clarifies.
Elias watches Beau sigh and tilt his head back to look at the ceiling. “Gee, I don’t think I’ve met anyone who could satisfy me.”
Elias gave him a look of understanding; however, Elias still didn’t know how Beau could break their hearts in such a cruel way.
“Look,” Beau said. “It ain’t like I wanted to break those galls' hearts; they’re nice girls I just- I ain't cut out for settlin’ down.”
It occurred to Elias that, like himself, Beau held deep loneliness that he couldn't fully understand. It wasn't that Beau didn't want to settle down; it was his need to feel something real that was holding him back.
Elias nodded to Beau in understanding. After that, the two men sat in peaceful silence once again. At one point, Elias fell asleep on the sofa next to Beau.
Sunlight peeked through the window, and Elias stirred awake. Beau was gone, he assumed to get his horse ready for the long trek down the mountain. Sure enough, he found him in the barn, stroking his stallion's neck. Beau had already saddled his horse and was checking the reins. “You off to town?” Elias asked.
Beau turned, and his lips turned upward when he saw Elias. “Yes, sir, I gotta get myself a new tent so I can get out of your hair,” he replied.
“Nonsense, I honestly wouldn't mind if you wanted to stick around for a while,” Elias said.
“I don’t want to burden you.”
“Oh, well, if you insist.”
If Elias was being honest with himself. He would prefer that Beau stay in the cabin with him the rest of the summer rather than ask Ralph for supplies he was unwilling to give.
Even in elementary school, Ralph had been a nuisance, a child who would pick fights with the other boys just for fun. And he was no better as an adult.
Ralph’s family ran the whole town, owned every business, and drove competitors to bankruptcy. Ralph inherited the business from his father along with his two brothers, Wyatt and Levi.
Ralph had been after Elias’s land for years, and the two had always butted heads.
Elias had been the target of Ralph’s aggression during junior high school, and as a result, Elias had learned to fight fast.
From what Elias had heard from people around town, Ralph had fallen victim to alcoholism and gambling, often resulting in violent fights.
Needless to say, Elias was nervous about Beau attempting to ask Ralph for more supplies. He had grown a bit fond of Beau and would hate to see the aftermath of a scrap between him and Ralph.
Elias brought a simple breakfast out to Beau and sent him off down the mountain. “Be careful,” he said, unsure of how else to warn the other man.
At first, he enjoyed being alone again. He cleaned the stables, he made sure the sheep were fed and doing well, then he went to the porch and read his book. But the silence quickly became unbearable, and Elias became bored and restless. He saddled up his horse and tried to take a ride, but he kept glancing to his side, expecting Beau to be there whistling a cheerful tune. This ride only led to disappointment. Eventually, he went back to the cabin and settled for smoking four cigarettes on the porch, but even that felt strange to do without the other man’s company. How on earth had this man derailed Elias’s entire existence in just one day? And that was a question he didn’t dare answer.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,652 Literary Works • 675,339 Reviews
Hey Red! I really enjoyed Chapter 3. I think this chapter was quieter than the previous ones, but honestly, that made the relationship between Elias and Beau stand out even more.
This was probably the part that caught my attention the most. Elias is clearly confused by his own reaction, and I liked that he doesn't immediately understand what he's feeling. It makes his thoughts feel more realistic instead of having everything figured out too quickly.
I also liked the conversation between the two of them about Beau's relationships. Beau admitting that he isn't “cut out for settlin’ down” gave me a better understanding of why he behaves the way he does. I didn't necessarily agree with how he treated those women, but I could understand that there's more going on underneath his behavior.
The morning scene was another favorite of mine. Elias telling Beau that he could stay, while pretending to be completely casual about it, was honestly kind of funny because his thoughts immediately betray him.
I really liked this because Elias is slowly becoming aware of how much Beau has affected his life, even if he isn't ready to admit exactly why.
The introduction of Ralph also added a new layer to the story. I liked learning more about Elias's history and why asking Ralph for supplies isn't exactly a simple favor. It also made Elias's concern about Beau going to town feel more meaningful because he genuinely doesn't want anything happening to him.
But my favorite part was probably the ending.
That line sums up the whole chapter so well. Elias gets his peaceful routine back, but suddenly the quiet doesn't feel peaceful anymore. He notices Beau's absence everywhere, even during things he normally enjoys.
I think that's what I liked most about this chapter. Nothing huge needed to happen for the relationship to progress. Elias simply starts realizing that Beau's presence has become important to him, and that realization is much more interesting to me than a rushed confession would be.
Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter. The slower pace worked for me, and I’m definitely curious to see what happens when Beau comes back from town.
Lovely work!<3
~hira♡
I'm so excited you already posted a third chapter! Let's get right into it:
Careful here, you've crept into present tense when the rest of the story is in past. Should be asked, clarified and watched. Easy mistake to make, but also easy to spot and fix!
I also find it funny that Elias just straight up asked him this question. It works, but my understanding of their characters was that they were more reserved and quiet. Obviously, Elias is trying to ascertain whether Beau is gay, but i wonder if at first he should try ask in a subtle way that Beau doesn't understand and build up to just straight up asking?
I think you could streamline the first sentence a bit: Beau was gone; he assumed he was getting his horse ready for the long trek down the mountain.
I also think this is the perfect opportunity to describe the farm, the barn, and the surroundings in a bit more detail. This is Elias' cabin and land, and we could learn some details about him from what he notices. Is he proud of it? Is it falling apart? Is it meticulously cared for? That sort of detail. Does he notice bird song outside, or is he only thinking about Beau?
I think this should be one sentence as the first sentence is just a clause and not a complete sentence, and you could join them together with just a comma:
If Elias were being honest with himself, he would prefer that Beau stay in the cabin with him the rest of the summer rather than ask Ralph for supplies he was unwilling to give
This bit verges on 'telling' rather than showing for me. Maybe this could be shown later when Beau meets Ralph, and maybe Ralph says cruel things about Elias to him? But in this scene, Elias tells him about Ralph and supplies, but in a way that hints at animosity, like he's worried about what Ralph might tell Beau about him? I like all the ideas presented here, but they just serve as a way to tell us information I think we could earn elsewhere in the story.
Love this ending! Can't wait for more!!