Black parade
Black fills the streets
Tears fill the eyes under the black veils
Black top hats bob above their heads
The faded red, white and blue cover the caskets
Smell of rain fills the sky
Colliding with the smell of dirt
Red roses drenched in rain
Tears fall from sky
Sky mourns
Thunder cries
Black parade parts
Taking home the guilt
Of the lost soldiers
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This poem scares me in so many ways mostly because I pray that I never have to attend a black parade. My brother is in the national guard and will be deployed near December to Africa for a keep the peace treaty. This scares me. He is just married has a beautiful baby girl that is 6 months old and when he gets back she will be nearly two. This poem is the awful truth I hope I never have to say.
Hey there.
1.Attractive title.
2.You kept it short[just the way I like it]
3.Less words more meaning["]
4.Made me very emotional[true,I don't get emotional very easily]
5."Thunder cries" my favorite line[don't know why and don't ask]
6,plz keep up the good work.
7. If you can check out some of my work.
Wow, that is some good expression.
Personally I like the way you used less words, but still be able to convey the emotion.
{cons} there's no punctuation, and it's a bit uneven in sentence length.
I feel that the way there are less words toward the end may also signify the end of the soldiers. That's how I felt anyway. Please continue to make poems such as this, I think they are very enjoyable.
-EnterTheCorpse
@Elysium sameee I love the song you're referencing to. MCR's a great band. But JWW, you've written a magnificently mysterious poem.
I'm feeling silly at the moment but then again solemn and somber not sure why. Pish posh.
my work isn't the greatest but you are a different story when it comes to a pencil and sheet of paper.
You've talent and you'll use it.
The imagery isn't that loaded with heavy-duty words xD but it's also not third grade vocabulary. I can almost picture myself there. Here, I thought that it'd lead into a depression poem or emo poem, which is why I clicked on it. Another reason, the song instantaneously popped into my little brain cells to give me a note of how the two relate.
For the negatives: No punctuation, no rhyming, sentence length isn't equivalent, bleh bleh bleh. ("I don't say, "bleh bleh bleh." Hope you get the joke!) But I liked how you didn't use that. Not all poetry has to rhyme. I repeat, Not All Poetry Has To Rhyme. And I rarely use punctuation in mine anyways. I actually don't think I've got any negatives to say, but I'm sort of hoping for you to write longer, more detailed works of woe and heart-wrenching and beautiful and elusive works. I mean, C'mon. You have the talent. You have the time, well hopefully. I really want you to post more!
Thinking of black veils, black eyes, black clothing, a "black" mood... Let's be honest here JWW I love how it connects with me, and others as well. More so in an alluring way of darkness. So many things to say, such little time to do so, haha.
Before I engage myself in eating some roast dinner (lol I'd prefer pizza) I just want to thank you for posting this.
~Freak
I'm getting a serious MCR vibe from this
I'm getting a serious MCR vibe from this