Of Cubicles and Devious Doings

OK, this is just a story I wrote for English a while back...My teacher liked it, so I decided to post it. I know that it has almost no hold on reality at all, but...Please review! (I posted this a while ago, and changed the title. It used to be the Cubicle and I).

Of Cubicles and Devious Doings

Being a rookie of the office setting, I was somewhat nervous to take my first job in one. Bosmen-Wallace Insurance, to be exact. I timidly walked down the long, seemingly endless corridor of cubicles. I tried not to make a sound, failing miserably. The gray plastic walls seemed to close in on me, broken every ten feet by narrow doorways. The tile floors were slick and shiny, and they reflected the lights shining from above. There was not a single soul outside the walls of a cubicle, save me, not even at the coffee table. The only sounds were the click-click-click of fingers typing rapidly on keyboards. Feeling vaguely disturbed, I finally reached the end of the forest of cubicles, turned towards the manager’s office, and knocked quietly on the door. Nothing happened. A phone rang on the other side of the room. I jumped and then wiped the sweat from my brow. The phone was answered, and I could hear a faint voice, “Hello, this is Harry, of Bosmen-Wallace Insurance. How may I help you?” I knocked on the door again, louder. This time, the manager answered, “Come in, and make it snappy.”

I opened the door to the view of a pristine office. All of the desks, chairs, and even papers were at right angles to each other. All of the furniture was made of shining mahogany. Waxy-looking plants lined the windowsill, and there was a smell of disinfectant in the air. I immediately disliked the place. Sitting behind the gleaming desk, sat a rather large, balding man. The suit he wore seemed to be several sizes below “Husky,” and appeared to be strangling him. He was panting slightly, and sweat gleamed on his bald patch. As I shut the door, he noticed that a pen was out of place, and, with an irritated movement, he straightened it. He looked at me, eying my gangly figure with apparent distaste. Maybe it was the fact that I was so much slimmer than he, or the fact that I was young, and he was old. I don’t know. But he seemed to hate me.

“So you’re our newbie?” he asked me, in a snide voice.

“Yes, sir,” I replied, much as it annoyed me to talk to this increasingly rude man.

“Hmmm. Well, we’ll see,” he said, “whether you survive the first week,” I did not like the subtle, underlying threat in his smooth voice. He hoisted himself up, and waddled around his desk, to grip my shoulder.

“Here, I’ll show you your workspace, give you your first assignment.” He smiled a sickening smile that made me want to hurl, and led me out of the room. He bantered with me as we proceeded back down the cubicle corridor, not seeming to care that I didn’t say anything. When we reached the very middle of the corridor, he turned to the left and showed me an empty cubicle. There was a plastic desk, upon which sat a cheap desktop and an old phone, and a rolling chair that stuffing leaking out of all sides.

“This is yours. Don’t bother getting your other stuff right now. The computer and the phone system work, as soon as you press that button,” he pointed to a large green button on the side of the computer, “Instructions will pop up on the screen. Good day.” He turned around, leaving me confused and twice as nervous as I had started out as.

Figuring that I should actually start my job, I sat down in the leaky chair, pushed the button on the computer, and started reading the instructions on the screen. I just couldn’t concentrate on the bland, technical sentences, full of “Press Ctrl,” or “Press Command+T.” I read it through three times, not understanding a word. Suddenly, I got that odd feeling that I was being watched. Turning around, I saw a head poking above the cubicle next to mine. It was the head of a freckly young man, with a mop of ginger hair, and a face full of excitement.

“Hi,” the head said. I smiled nervously.

“Uh…Hello,” I said, uncertain. The head disappeared, and I saw the entire person come into my cubicle. He was tall, like me. He wasn’t gangly, though. He was one of those tall guys that the girls flock around. What’s the word? Dashing. That’s it. He was dashing.

“I saw you coming down the hall,” he grinned, “I wanted to talk, but, ya know, couldn’t do it while, ya know,” his voice lowered, “old Snob-Nose was around.” He laughed a big, jovial laugh, and I knew that I had a new friend.

“I’m sorry!” he suddenly exclaimed, “Haven’t introduced myself, have I? The name’s Lucian.”

“I’m Jesse,” I said.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Jesse. We better get back to work, though, or old Snob-Nose’ll be out for our heads. I swear he’s got the ears of a bat. Don’t hesitate to ask me anything, if you have any problems.” He grinned, and went back into his cubicle. I smiled. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

*****************

After a long day of answering tearful phone calls about dying family members, I was ready to get a Netflix movie, a frozen pizza, and a bottle of Coke; perfect for a night of zoning out on the couch. I said goodbye to Lucian, figuring I’d get a cup of coffee on the way out. I turned toward the refreshment table, and nearly ran into the nerdiest person I’d ever seen. She was tall, with huge coke-bottle glasses, mousy brown hair, and a gawky expression on her face, like she didn’t know what she was doing. There were huge loops in her ears, and necklaces of various sizes adorned her shoulders.

“Oh, hello,” she said, in a dreamy voice, “You’re new here, aren’t you?”

I nodded, not eager to extend the conversation.

“My name’s Star,” she said vaguely, “Can I walk with you?”

“I’m Jesse,” I said for the second time that day, rather stiffly, “And, sure, I guess so.”

I continued down the cubicle hallway, quickening my pace a little. She kept up with me, silently. I got my cup of coffee, and turned to the doorway.

“Well, I’ll see you…Star,” I said.

“Yes, I expect you will. ‘Bye.” She turned in the other direction, looking like she was wandering in an empty forest.

****************

The next few days passed much as the last, with only Lucian and Star ever bothering to talk to me. It was nice speaking with Lucian, who always gave me tips on work, but even being in the same room with Star was awkward, so I tried to avoid it. She always managed to seek me out, though, annoyingly enough.

****************

One day, I got a call from an angry woman (not unusual), who would not give up in her quest to get treatment for her ailing child. Personally, I agreed that the way that Bosmen-Wallace dealt with health insurance was terrible, but my job paid well, and I didn’t want to lose it. It was heart-wrenching to listen to, it really was, but there was only one thing that I could do.

“Okay, listen, really, I shouldn’t do this, but I truly want to help. Call (473) 835-2210. That should help.” I’d given her Lucian’s number, and he knew a loophole for everything, so I knew the lady was in good hands.

Feeling like I had done a good deed, I got up, stretched, and stepped out of my cubicle. I was startled to see the manager standing outside my doorway. He looked guilty, like a small, chubby boy who’d been caught eavesdropping.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, “You scared my there, young man.”

I just shook my head and went to get another cup of coffee.

******************

Over the next week, I began to notice money worries around the office. Some of the worst workers were fired, but I didn’t feel too bad for them, because they were always snide and rude to me. Lucian was starting to get worried, though, and that was what bothered me. Lucian was one of the senior employees, he’d told me. If he was worried about getting fired, then was there hope for any of us?

******************

A few days later, I was surprised when “old Snob-Nose” gave me a visit. He sidled up to my cubicle and squeezed inside, smiling his sickening smile.

“Ah, yes, I wanted to speak with you, Mr. DeLazzi,” he said, his voice dripping in unctuous tones, “You see, AllState is having to make some budget cuts, and I’m afraid, and please do not get upset, that you, as a new employee, are a, ahh, liability.”

“Liability?” I stared at him blankly. He must have heard that phone call…

“Yes, and thus, I’m afraid I’m going to have to lay you off,” he said, simpering.

“You’re going to lay me off because…Wait a minute. That’s illegal!” I said, my voice rising, my face filling with anger.

“Well, not exac-” I cut him off, yelling now.

“Yes, yes, it is! You can’t do that!”

Heads were popping up over office walls, staring. Lucian, having heard everything, came into my cubicle.

“He’s right, sir. What you are trying to do is against the law, and, if you continue in your current actions, I will have no choice but to resign and inform the authorities.”

“I think I will, too,” came a dreamy voice. It was Star, “I mean, it’s just not very nice, is it? To fire someone, I mean.”

I felt a rush of gratitude towards these two people, the only ones had bothered to befriend a foreigner to this office wilderness. The manager, on the hand, felt differently.

“But, but,” he spluttered pompously, “You’re our senior employees! And, and…I won’t let you! You two cannot resign!”

In his anger and annoyance, old Snob-Nose seemed to have forgotten all of is knowledge of business laws.

I cleared my throat, “Sir? That’s illegal, as well.”

The manager turned a disgusting hue of red and stormed out of my cubicle. Not able to help myself, I started laughing. It was the most exhilarated laugh that had ever parted my lips, and, soon, everybody was giggling and snorting with happiness.

*****************

Three days after old Snob-Nose tried to fire me, this notice appeared on the bulletin board next to the coffee table:

The Former Manager, William Smit,

Has resigned, to be replaced by

Lucian D. Jack

I smiled, reminding myself to congratulate Lucian. Star saw the notice, too, as she walked by, and she grinned her nerdy grin. I felt oddly close to her now, after what had happened. I came up to her.

“So, Star. Are you doing anything tonight?”