z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Ambush - A Star Wars Story

by Razor


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Somewhere in the Arkanis Sector

4 ABY  

Horan Korn made her way to the cockpit of her modified VCX-100 light freighter, where her co-pilot, Zeb Driffa was sitting in one of the two pilots seats. Outside, the beautiful glowing blue lights of hyperspace drifted by. She and her group were spice runners. They smuggled spice to planets for money. They also were mercenaries. Her team consisted of herself, Zeb, Kat Graffis, Daken Laki, Driva Seki, Trin Bask, Fako Troy and Harim Dane. Coming out of hyperspace, Zeb announced casually. The hyperspace melted back into stars. Looming ahead of them was the planet Tatooine. "Sand", Zeb said sarcastically, "amazing". "Who are we meeting here again?" "Bib Fortuna", Horan answered. "He took over for Jabba The Hutt after he died". The proximity alert flashed suddenly, startling both of them. Zeb checked the display. "Horan", Zeb said, "we've got trouble". And then a squadron of Imperial TIE fighters roared out of the darkness of space. 

"Man the guns", Horan said calmly into the ship intercom. She had been in thousands of space battles and firefights, too many to count. Harim, a former Mandalorian with short black hair and blue eyes, dressed in beskar armor wearing a bandanna, which was hanging around his neck, rushed away from his position just outside of the cockpit entrance. "They're hailing us", Zeb said. "She hit the comm button". "Unknown Freighter," a cold clipped voice announced, "identify yourself". "I repeat, identify yourself immediately or risk being fired upon". "How did you get on the Empires radar", Zeb asked. "I'll tell you later", Horan answered. Horan noticed Zeb's brow was furrowed. It was a sure sign that she was worried. She sat down in the pilot seat and pressed the comm button. "This is the freighter Lady's Revenge", she said, her tone calm. "We are transporting about three pounds of Meiloorun fruit from Lothal". "Lady's Revenge", the cold clipped voice responded, "your vessel matches one that fired on two squadrons of TIE fighters a year ago above the planet Gargon". Horan facepalmed and Zeb's face blanched. We now have an obligation to fire upon your vessel, the voice said.

-------------------------------

The TIE fighters roared through space, chasing the freighter. The laser canons of the freighter were located on the front right below the cockpit, and on the top and bottom of the freighter. The ones on the front could be operated from the cockpit, but Horan and Zeb were more focused on keeping the damned ship from not being able to fly. "Shields are holding", Zeb said as they executed a tight turn to get a TIE in their sights. Laser fire smashed into the shields again and again, until the shields failed. "Shit", Horan yelled, "there goes our blasted shields". 

Laser fire thudded against the hull of the ship, making the ship shudder from the impacts. A TIE nearby erupted into a fireball and smashed into one of its own. "Ten fighters left", Zeb said. Two more TIEs exploded and Horan gritted her teeth, throwing the freighter into a tight turn as two TIEs rushed up at it from below. The two fighters curved back around, firing their laser cannons at the ship. The ship shuddered with laser fire as three more joined them. Horan threw the fighter into a loop setting up shots for the people manning their cannons. Three of the fighters exploded and others swerved to avoid collisions with rubble and collided with each other. Now there were four left. Horan spun the ship in a wide looping arc and laser fire from their cannons took out the remaining fighters. An Imperial Star Destroyer suddenly appeared out of hyperspace near them. Horan had seen enough. She quickly put in the coordinates for a planet in the neighboring sector, pulled the hyperdrive lever, and they escaped into the safety of Hyperspace. 

Note From The Author: 

I have always been an avid Star Wars fan so I thought I would write a story. If you are curious, ABY means after the Battle Of Yavin. I leave you with a couple questions; who is your fav character in Star Wars, what is your favorite ship, and do you think I should write a sequel?


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
1092 Reviews

Points: 396
Reviews: 1092

Donate
Sat Jun 17, 2023 9:17 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



I don’t know much about Star Wars, but I do check it out once in a while. (I like Disney World’s Star Wars land). My favorite Star Wars character would have to be Kylo Ren and my favorite Star Wars ship is Han Solo x Leia. I like how unfazed Horan is this situation. :) It shows how regular of a situation it is for them. I’ll check out the sequel tomorrow.

I wish you a fantastic day/night. May the force be with you.




User avatar
121 Reviews

Points: 15926
Reviews: 121

Donate
Sat Apr 22, 2023 2:44 am
LuminescentAnt wrote a review...



Hi, quick review for this story!
This was a very exciting story! It started off good, because you introduced the characters as spice smugglers, which is sure to bring a lot of excitement with the story. When the proximity alert sounded, that really got the reader's attention, because usually that will mean something bad is about to happen.

Horan facepalmed and Zeb's face blanched. We now have an obligation to fire upon your vessel, the voice said.

This began the excitement, and made me want to keep reading and find out if they manage to escape and destroy the TIE fighters.
Laser fire thudded against the hull of the ship, making the ship shudder from the impacts. A TIE nearby erupted into a fireball and smashed into one of its own. "Ten fighters left", Zeb said. Two more TIEs exploded and Horan gritted her teeth, throwing the freighter into a tight turn as two TIEs rushed up at it from below. The two fighters curved back around, firing their laser cannons at the ship. The ship shuddered with laser fire as three more joined them. Horan threw the fighter into a loop setting up shots for the people manning their cannons. Three of the fighters exploded and others swerved to avoid collisions with rubble and collided with each other. Now there were four left. Horan spun the ship in a wide looping arc and laser fire from their cannons took out the remaining fighters.

This was a well-described scene, and I could imagine what was happening in the fight scene in my head pretty well. Although it was a little confusing since you put a lot of stuff into one paragraph, so maybe you could space it out a little.
An Imperial Star Destroyer suddenly appeared out of hyperspace near them. Horan had seen enough.

An Imperial Star Destroyer??? Wow, they must be in big trouble. This was an exciting end, and the fact that they were able to hyperspace in time made me so relieved.
If I you were to change anything, one thing I would say is that when they arrive outside Tatooine, I think you could describe the planet a little more about what it looks like, because all we know about it is that there's sand.
Also when Horan curses in that part of the story, it says that she yells, but there is only a comma there, so it doesn't really represent the volume of her voice.
Lastly, when the Star Destroyer appeared, Horan just immediately went into hyperspace, and none of the crew reacted to the fact that there was a Star Destroyer looking for them so I found that kind of strange.
But that's it for the review. And for the questions- I watch the movies and series and I played one of the video games, but I can't really be considered a fan, but I will answer the questions anyway. My favorite character if I had to pick would probably be Peli Motto from the Mandolorian, she is very funny, I don't really have a favorite ship, and you should write a sequel if you would like to because I need to know why there is a Star Destroyer looking for them!





To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.
— Allen Ginsberg