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Young Writers Society



Planet Problems

by Razor


Planet Problems: A Poem

Look around you

Everywhere people are dying

Just trying to survive

Why?

Greed, War, Poverty

The world has problems

Many problems

Climate change, Racism, Homophobes

Why can't we just get along

In Ukraine, Russia targets innocents

In Gaza buildings are destroyed

In America, Cops commit another murder

A kid walks into school with a gun

A man walks in with a gun

A crowd of people storm the capitol building

A former president who is evil

he spreads lies and hate

yet he is somehow still winning in the surveys and polls

In the arctic, the ice melts and melts

In the Amazon, another tree falls

In Russia, a dictator rules

Others like him rule their countries

Face it

Our world is dying

What can we do to stop it?

We can help

We can love

We can cry

We can hold

We can give

We will fix it

Probably fix it

If we fail

At least we tried


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13 Reviews

Points: 93
Reviews: 13

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Sun Mar 31, 2024 8:58 pm
Tambo wrote a review...



Hello! My name is Tambo and I’m here to review your poem.

This poem was very triggering for me! 😅 You basically just described all of the world’s problems into one poem! This definitely made everyone (including me) look at the world and see that mostly everything needs to change, and I think I speak for everyone here when I say that this poem gave me goosebumps. My favourite part is when you spoke to the reader and said

look around you


I could hear a silence in my head after you said this.
Keep up the the amazing work!
I hope you have a wonderful day or night (wherever you are).
Sincerely, Tambo




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243 Reviews

Points: 27897
Reviews: 243

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Sat Mar 16, 2024 6:39 am
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OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...



Hello there! This is Orabella, here with a review!

I don't think I've read anything by you yet, which is a shame because this is absolutly amazing! You've got a gift for pulling on heartstrings, and boy, this sure does. I'm gonna go crawl up into a ball and cry now; see you in a bit.

On its own, this is incredibly sad, but the fact that it is based on real life - is real life - makes it so much harder and more beautiful to read. I know these events and I can see some of them happening around me. The way you were able to capture these emotions is awesome, and definitely something I struggle with in my own writing. But you pulled it off so beautifully! Nice job!! (Seriously, the utter sense of hopelessness that washed over me in the middle of this is crazy, and not something I was expecting to feel, even with the topic.)

Look around you

I like the way it starts out: addressing the reader, making them involved. Making what you're trying to say more personal. You continue this later on in the poem, and I really like it! It's a very creative way to be interesting while connecting with anyone who reads it.

We will fix it

Probably fix it

The fact that you correct yourself and say "probably" instead adds another layer to the sense of overwhelming fear and worry to this piece, and that makes these some of my favorite lines.

However, I think the honor of favorite lines go to:

If we fail

At least we tried

First of all, the amount of feelings and information these literal 7 words convey is unbelievable, and I genuinely was too shocked and stuck in my head for a few seconds before I could do anything when I first read them. They hit so hard and so beautifully - almost bittersweet. At least we could say we tried to stop it, even if it was already too late.

I don't think it's too late, though! We may not always see it, but there are always good people out there trying to help! The world will never be purely full of bad or evil things. This is not a dystopian world, nor will it be. Dystopian worlds are stories, but this is the real world. Our world doesn't have to be that way. I know we can make it better. It's not an attempt. It is our reality.:D

My one and only suggestion from a "message" standpoint is that it seems like you have two conflicting messages here. One about how the world is full of problems and there might be nothing we can do, and about how we can try to help. (Not that this is wrong! In fact, it's quite the opposite. I think contrasting views or messages or anything else really is awesome and it should be used more often.) What I'm saying is, in some poems or stories or articles or whatnot, having two opposing messages may not be the best approach. Here, it works perfectly, so please don't change anything. Please. It's actually so amazing the way it is. ^^ It's just something to think about, although there are many more instances where conflicting things like this fit perfectly in what they're in.
(Sorry if this whole section here doesn't make much sense. :) )

Thank you so much for writing and sharing! I love this poem a lot! Definitely something I could come back to and admire. :D Have an amazing day/night, and keep writing!




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35 Reviews

Points: 319
Reviews: 35

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Fri Mar 15, 2024 12:23 pm
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dm74 wrote a review...



I like the poignant and reflective tone of the poem, which effectively highlights the pressing issues facing our planet. The repetition of "Why?" emphasizes the sense of urgency and frustration regarding the world's problems. The use of specific examples from different regions and contexts adds depth and relevance to the poem's message. The call to action in the latter part of the poem is empowering and encourages readers to consider their role in addressing global challenges. Overall, the poem effectively captures the complexity of contemporary issues while offering hope and a sense of collective responsibility.
The imagery and language used in the poem vividly portray the harsh realities of our time, evoking a strong emotional response from the reader. The juxtaposition of destruction and hope underscores the duality of the human experience, reminding us that amidst the chaos, there is still potential for positive change. By urging readers to take action and emphasizing the importance of collective effort, the poem instills a sense of responsibility and agency in addressing societal issues. It serves as a poignant reminder of the interconnectedness of humanity and the need for compassion, empathy, and solidarity in facing the challenges ahead.





There's a Brazilian things you could write about. You just gotta pick Juan.
— Hattable