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'FORGOTTEN' Ch-0 #Prologue

by RB


    Nam Goongmin has long lost his child. It was mandatory; was never his choice. Things escalated so quickly, in matters of seconds his life turned upside down, four seasons all at once. The laughter, the exuberance, the elation, the melancholy, the sorrow, the anguish, the angst, and the anger. Feeling the fiery heat of an enkindled inner flame, even death will never be able to extinguish, is his new feeling; he can no longer get rid of. Miscarriage of justice and conviction of crimes he never committed weren't enough to ruin his life, they took it further, killing his mother and burning her alive. Fire can be fatal and so are knives, whereby his wife was killed. It didn't end there tho, entering a room but finding an empty crib was last anticipated thing; newborn baby, Jaemin, now is gone.

   It was then the end of Nam Goongmin. But the beginning of *Războinic* or *Răzbunător*  maybe both, after all they are the same person but  different peraonas. It was the end of his well scripted tragedy; his excruciatingly painful experience, however vowing in silent is no longer fervour to avenge the murders. With outrage and disbelief combined it was the birth of a serial killer.

   Na Jaemin  is back as a detective, with first given case, was exposing the true identity of the mysterious killer. Will our young boy then be an exemplary detective, by helping solve a violent crime spree? Or will he fail his first given case, by being an exemplary son?

*NB* This part is reserved only to give readers a great insight on how the story will unfold. It's a plot summary, that's why it's kept short, brief and murky. 


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155 Reviews


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Sat Apr 03, 2021 4:03 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Helllloooo!!! Welcome to YWS and here for a review.

I really like short chapters and the same applies for you.

Nam goong min has long lost his child. It was mandatory; was never his choice. Things escalated so quickly, in matters of seconds his life turned upside down, four seasons all at once. The laughter, the exuberance, the elation, the melancholy, the sorrow, the anguish, the angst, and the anger. Feeling the fiery heat of an enkindled inner flame, even death will never be able to extinguish, is his new feeling; he can no longer get rid of. Miscarriage of justice and conviction of crimes he never committed weren't enough to ruin his life, they took it further, killing his mother and burning her alive. Fire can be fatal and so are knives, whereby his wife was killed. It didn't end there tho, entering a room but finding an empty crib was last anticipated thing; newborn baby now is gone.

The beginning was really intriguing and it is bound to hook the readers!! Is ‘Nam goong min’ a name? Just a little bit confused... If yes, then capitalize the g and m.
It's packed with tragedies!! So much tragedies within a single paragraph! I genuinely adore it.

It was then the end of Nam Goongmin. But the beginning of *Războinic*. It was the end of his well scripted tragedy; his excruciatingly painful experience, however vowing in silent is no longer fervour to avenge the murders. With outrage and disbelief combined it was the birth of a serial killer.

Was Nam Goongmin murdered?? Oh no...Wants detective now.

Na Jaemin is back as a detective, with first given case, was exposing the true identity of the mysterious killer. Will our young boy then be an exemplary detective, by helping solve a violent crime spree? Or will he fail his first given case, by being an exemplary son?

Yes, got the detective! I guess this Na Jaemin is gonna be the hero in your story! Does this person have a helper? Most detectives have that I guess. And one more thing–I suggest editing the last paragraph and removing all those questions. Those seem unnecessary.

Overall, a very good story. Can u pls tag me on the release of the next chapter??

Keep it up!!!

.~Forever




RB says...


Oh hi first of all I'm really glad to see some interactions here thank you so much for the time to read it. Second 'Nam Goongmin' is a korean name (basically it's a fanfiction so the names are inspired from real people) and yeah I tend to write so fast sometimes I don't even do a proofreading judging by the way you noticed I'll work on that part over and over. Third, the thing behind writing those questions at the bottom of the last paragraph is because basically the whole chapter is juat a brief introduction on how the story will unfold. Last but not least 'Nam Gongmin' didn't die aa mentioned there he is the serial killer juat to point it out yes there is detective, Na Jaemin, and in order not to spoil much we will discover later his real identity.
Again thank you so much fir your genuine feedbacks. I'll definitely make sure to tag you next but I'm still not sure for thw length of the chapters as for the latter was just a plot summary that's why it seemed quite short.

Have a nice day and stay healthy!

~RB ~



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Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:44 pm
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well...this was quite an interesting start here to a story. Quite a lot of stuff happening here just in the first chapter and it looks set to be quite a story here...well let's get into a touch more detail down here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Nam goong min has long lost his child. It was mandatory; was never his choice. Things escalated so quickly, in matters of seconds his life turned upside down, four seasons all at once. The laughter, the exuberance, the elation, the melancholy, the sorrow, the anguish, the angst, and the anger. Feeling the fiery heat of an enkindled inner flame, even death will never be able to extinguish, is his new feeling; he can no longer get rid of. Miscarriage of justice and conviction of crimes he never committed weren't enough to ruin his life, they took it further, killing his mother and burning her alive. Fire can be fatal and so are knives, whereby his wife was killed. It didn't end there tho, entering a room but finding an empty crib was last anticipated thing; newborn baby now is gone.


Oh wow....well that's a really powerful opening paragraph. So much tragedy just packed into the one thing and its all just hitting the reader one by one. Quite a paragraph that one, definitely gets your attention straightaway that's for sure. Well let's see how this whole things ends up going, sounds like its going to be quite a tough story here.

It was then the end of Nam Goongmin. But the beginning of *Războinic*. It was the end of his well scripted tragedy; his excruciatingly painful experience, however vowing in silent is no longer fervour to avenge the murders. With outrage and disbelief combined it was the birth of a serial killer.


Oh dear...well that ended about as well as could be expected...this should be quite interesting going forward judging by the sound of that.

Na Jaemin is back as a detective, with first given case, was exposing the true identity of the mysterious killer. Will our young boy then be an exemplary detective, by helping solve a violent crime spree? Or will he fail his first given case, by being an exemplary son?


Ohhh...well that's an interesting note to end on there. Looks like this might be our protagonist maybe and it appears this is maybe some narrator thats about to tell us this story. A slight break of flow there, but on the whole seems like a fairly interesting idea.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think this story does have quite a bit of potential but this first part here could use a couple of improvements here and there...anyway...that's about all I've gotta say here.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




RB says...


The part here was just an overall about what story will be about the chapters will be posted soon where the story unfolds ans yeah there will be a quite tragedy coming upon but don't worry it won't last for long. And omg it was the first time I have received an full interaction with detailed overview about the part I feel so overwhelmed and happy to hear so thank u so much for your efforts to give it a try and yiur titles manners to analyze it and give feedbacks in exchange. I'll work hard to improve what seems missing to go further and your pov was pretty engrossing to give me a slight hope to go further with the book and not stop it mid way .
Stay safe as well %uD83D%uDE04
RB




If a nation loses its storytellers, it loses its childhood.
— Peter Handke