Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Realistic


Silent Hands

by PurpleMoment


Look at me
See my hands
See me speak
 
I AM SHOUTING, with my hands
LISTEN TO ME
 
Hear my hands
Hear my story
Please
 
Speak to me with your hands
Share my beautiful language
 
HEAR MY SILENT HANDS
We have a tale to tell
 
OPEN YOUR EYES
And hear me speak


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
117 Reviews


Points: 4007
Reviews: 117

Donate
Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:41 pm
ChildOfNowhere wrote a review...



Hello there, Purple ^^

Now, I must say again, I'm not a poet myself and I haven't really reviewed poetry before today, so don't take whatever I say too close to your heart.

I like how you portray that feeling of being different, yet finding beautiful things in it, in all your works. This one gives me the feeling of helplessness, something kind of desperate yet not quite negative emotions.

It makes me think about how many people - regardless of deafness, though I don't want to be disrespectful or something - try to pass on their words, their thoughts, their dreams, and end up misunderstood, unheard, alone even though they're surrounded by others. I don't know if you were going for that, but like I said, I am only here to give you my honest opinion.

The capitalization works nice too, adding up to those silent screams that can be felt throughout the entire poem. Overall, very interesting ^^

Kind regards,
Aria




User avatar
39 Reviews


Points: 1303
Reviews: 39

Donate
Thu Jan 24, 2013 10:58 am
znale1 wrote a review...



Hey there, Purple Moment.

I don't think I have reviewed your work before so this is my first time.At the start I didn't understand this but then when I kept on reading I understood what you were supposed to tell in this poem, I would suggest you put a description at the start. I still like it even though I didn't understand what you were trying to say.




User avatar
289 Reviews


Points: 30323
Reviews: 289

Donate
Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:59 pm
Caesar wrote a review...



Well hi there, PurpleMoment!

I confess I don't really review poetry, but this one caught my eye.

My first inpression was one of… vagueness? I'm not sure what you were trying to say, exactly. I also don't quite get why you're shouting with your hands, of all things. Again it's kind of vague, so, it doesn't tell me much. Perhaps being more specific, conveying a precise meaning with your words and such, would be a good idea.

Speak to me with your hands
Share my beautiful language


Especially these verses… I don't quite understand what, exactly, these mean.


Well, uh, um, I hope this gave you something to reflect on.
~a mortified Ita




PurpleMoment says...


I am deaf. I sign. I use ASL. Does that clear things up a bit? Lol



User avatar
5 Reviews


Points: 771
Reviews: 5

Donate
Wed Jan 23, 2013 7:57 pm
starchild wrote a review...



I like this, I can feel the desperation and helplessness. I like the use of capitalization to get the point across. I do feel like you can express yourself more by expanding on this and having more visuals and using more words. Do more showing than telling.




PurpleMoment says...


Thanks! I appreciate your feedback.




Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
— Henry David Thoreau