The stars are watching in the night.
Which is which? How many? How bright?
I see them, but they're far--too far.
Too far to see, except the light.
The sun is watching in the day.
It holds the land within its sway.
A flame too bright for me to see,
It lights the path, but not my way.
The moon is watching in the night.
It shines down a comforting light.
Yet sometimes it cannot be seen,
For clouds in day are clouds by night.
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139,534 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
ur poem was well thought out and i like it. keep writing!!
The rhyming was perhaps a little...forced in places but I liked the way it was structured and I thought the use of three questions in a row on the second line was very effective. It seemed to protray a kind of bewildered wonder which was quite beautiful. A good piece of work.
I thought this was entertaining and deep. The imagery in it was apparent, as were the messages the imagery contained.
AwesomeAwesomeAwsome
Too true!
I like this.
Though i found myself concentrating too much on the rhyming. It seemed forced.
Overall i liked the lines and the repition.
"Which is which?" i found misplaced and generally didn't seem to belong. it was kind of placed there, as if from no where at all.
I like the sentiment in this poem, I've only got one criticism;
I'm not sure the phrase how bright is entirely relevant, because to be honest, if you're looking up to the stars, you would see how bright they were?
Anyway, hope this was helpful for you! (: