Published March 31, 2006
Is it ok?
Ok to turn the world upside down,
And make the economy frown,
When you can make a choice,
And use your voice.
Is it ok?
Is it ok?
To change what people think,
Even when they are on the brink,
Free falling down the well,
Crashing and gnashing in there cell.
Is it ok?
Is it ok?
To have poor and to have the sad,
When in the end we all turn bad,
Is it ok?
Is it ok?
To say that it needs change,
To make faster brains,
To fall on the ground and say,
Are you ok?
Are you ok,
That’s what we need to see
And for once feel free
Are you ok?
Are you ok,
With what is said
And why don’t some own a bed
When is it ok…..
To act better than the rest
It’s not ok,
The Best don’t know they are, because they are OK.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,455 Literary Works • 674,468 Reviews
Yha i know ill proabably revise it its jsut seemded what came out at thre time
I looked at this poem, saw "Is it ok?" like a million times, and died. It's okay (pun not intended) to repeat something, but not so frequently! Tone it down a bit, and then this may be effective.
I second Re
and also Snoink. Must always write what comes from the heart, always always. It's not worth writing otherwise. But I also get that you're new at this and you're a promising writer. It took me years to learn to loosen up on the rhyme scheme and structure...You'll get it. 
Yeah, I'm with Snoink on this one. It's fine to keep in mind what people consider marketable, and very important to those who want to make a career as a writer, but not at the expense of the quality of the writing. That is what I think happened here. Revise this, but ignore what would make it marketable. Keep the same feelings and message, but give it a little less structure, and not be so strict with following a rhyming scheme.
Not "ok"....
It should be "okay."
And repeating may and does sell, but don't be a sell out. Write what comes to the heart.
sadly repeating sells
I don't know much about critiquing lyrics but it seemed to me that yours had a little too many "OK";s in it. I hate it when a song repeats a word over and over again.
But other then that this was nice, keep at it!