Nightfall~ Prologue

Ok, I recognise you from innumerable SB's, so I thought I'd review one of your other pieces. I will not read the other reviews yet, as I want to come up with my own thoughts.
I have to admit, I'm starting with a complete rant. In formal writing such as this, you should never use numbers. Always write out the whole word.
While I'm on the topic of numbers, mind you don't confuse the 'O' and '0' keys, as you have a few times, e.g: "0ne where only his species survive." or "...for over 4o years...".
I think the above can be attributed to not thoroughly checking through your work. Whether it's a full novel or a note for the milkman, ALWAYS check every last word. Don't be afraid to go back and edit after submission if you realise you have made an error, too. These could simply be a missing letter or misspelling, especially if you confuse a homophone (i.e: they're, there, their).
Also, you should really check for misplaced capital letters. I wont even begin to try and count how many times you put a capital in the middle of a sentence, but it's definitely something which you really need to work on if you want your writing to improve.
For a change, I have no real complaints about the use of complex pronunciation. You used a semi-colon correctly- "Go; don’t stop running until you find it.”- although I would probably have used a hyphen in its stead.
You did use a hyphen in the last paragraph, but I am undecided as to whether it is correct or not. If you wanted to have the speech cut off by the gunshot, then spot on. If the desired effect was to insert the description of gunshots partway through the sentence, then I'm afraid you've made quite a basic error. Either have a second hyphen before the "Go!", or simply break the speech before the just. It will of course depend on what you wanted to achieve.
My final point, which again could be down to not re-reading your work; your sentences are of a clunky nature, brought about by being far too short. In innumerable places you have used a full stop when a comma would be far better placed, and would greatly improve the flow of your writing. As it is, the piece reads quite awkwardly. Read through the entire piece in your head, or even out loud, to get a better feel for how it sounds. When you do this, you should try to be objective and look at it from the perspective of someone who may not like it.
Work on some of these, and this could become a solid piece. I would advise you not to write in all-italics again (during this review, I have developed quite the headache), but if you take the advise of myself and other reviewers then I would be happy to re-evaluate this.
Crow

Hey Pix. Reviewed chapter one, so it'd be only natural that I review the prologue.
Unfortunately, I must agree with roostangar, even if his review was a little harsh.
The paragraph - as this is really too short to be anything else, though it does, admittedly, serve as a prologue - seems stilted in many places, redundant. Clunky aptly describes it.
However, you did spark my interest, which you managed to do, although the plotline seems a but cliche, I'm sorry to say.

In 1648 in Great Britain, A king was born. Of course his parents were vampires, very delicately structured eyes, as red as an apple

People have been dying, hut or injured

“Daddy, no. Daddy,” She begged. Pointing at all the warfare. She turned to the river; the moonlight shrank the envious clouds up high. The tide grew stronger.

“I’ll find you, someday. Just—,” The gunshots went off and people ran for them, “Go!” He screams, motioning her off and glancing at the incoming soldiers. He bared his fangs and turned around as the little girl did as her father instructed, ran until her little legs could take no more and life went on with her footsteps…

Hi, I've read the other reviews and I think they've covered most of your mistakes, but I'd like to shine the light on what's good about the piece. I like your new twist on the vampiric world, and the emotion behind your dialog. It allows the reader to really connect with your characters.
If you manage to fix your grammar and spelling, you may be able to convey the storyline more clearly.
I hope to hear the rest of the story!

words&wishes

Nightfall~ Prologue

In contrast to what lili said, this is not good. I would even go so far as to say it is terrible. It reads clunkily, with very little common sense. I read parts of it and was like, "What?" For example,

"Of course his parents were vampires". Of course, because everyone's parents are vampires.

"He threw war". One cannot throw war. One can declare or initiate, but not throw.

"One where he was only left to survive in. But unfortunately he refused and declared a war." This whole thing makes no sense. I cannot even begin to contemplate what you mean here. What's he surviving in? Did you mean to write "only he was" instead of "he was only"? What did he refuse.?

"and still increasing". Ugh, clunky. Try something like, "and still continued to this day".

"People have been dying, hurt or injured, they have broken bones, some have been captured." Well done, you have just stated the obvious. That is what happens in war.

i["Sooner or later the man finally held the one child that wasn’t meant for it." Again, this makes little sense. Don't use "sooner or later", it doesn't work here. And specify that you're referring to the war.

"Unknown powers to man." Does this sentence serve any purpose whatsoever?

"It’s someone’s duty to find the child. No one else" Starts off well, then degenerates back into not making sense. I cannot explain it any better, it just does not make sense when you read it.

" It was a hot summer day, lonely streets covered the battlefield and only those to beings were to be spotted if need be." Okay, you've started setting the scene. Good. Oh dear, you've ruined it. Lonely streets? Covering a battlefield? Does this normally happen? Try saying bodies, it'll be a lot clearer. "only those to beings were to be spotted if need be" I'm going to start pulling my hair out soon. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

"he was almost perished" You've used the wrong word here. Try 'finished', or 'done' instead.

"the moonlight shrank the envious clouds up high." Oh for... You have literally, JUST, described it as a hot summer day. Why in the name of Hood is there moonlight?

“Go!” He screams" Present tense. "He bared his fangs". Past tense. Oh dear...

"incoming soldiers" This should be 'oncoming'.

" and life went on with her footsteps…" And just to keep up the consistency of the piece, you've ended with something non-nonsensical. Excellent.

This isn't even everything I could pick on. lili has pointed out grammar and spelling, but there's still so much that needs done with this piece. The dialogue is stiff and emotionless, the plot is poorly thought out and doesn't make sense, there doesn't seem to be any kind of long-term planning involved, even though this is a prologue.
In summation, it needs so much work done it would be better to scrap it and start again. Normally I'd sign off with "keep it up", but for the love of literature, please don't. Yes, I have been harsh. Yes, it was necessary. Please, fix this.

Good! It is very good, Pixie. I'll write what I think in [brackets]

In 1648 in Great Britain, A [ a shouldn't be capitalized] king was born. [I don't understand this sentence. maybe you could clarify something] Of course his parents were vampires, very delicately structured eyes, as red as an apple. He threw war against a certain kingdom, [ you wrote one with a 0 instead of an o] 0ne where only his species survive. One where he was only left to survive in. But unfortunately[write a comma here] he refused and declared a war. This war has been going on for over 4o[ you wrote o instead of 0] years [ comma] and still increasing. People have been dying, hu[r]t or injured, they have broken bones, some have been captured and subconsciously forced to fight for the other side. Sooner or later the man finally held the one child that wasn’t meant for it. His own. Unknown powers to man. It’s someone’s duty to find the child. No one else. Though a mission is required. Over time, people have forgotten about it. One day, the man took the child to a river. It was a hot summer day, lonely streets covered the battlefield and only those to beings were to be spotted if need be.

“Go,” He requested, overly done. You could tell he was almost perished, gash marks across his face. “Go, and never come back.” Tears ran down his cheek and the little girl looked up at him with needless, sorry green eyes.

“Daddy, no. Daddy,” She begged. Pointing at all the warfare. She turned to the river; the moonlight shrank the envious clouds up high. The tide grew stronger.

“Violet, Please sweetheart, it’s the only way for you to be safe. Go; don’t stop running until you find it.” He encourages, panting.

“Daddy, no!” She cries, looking down at the floor, diamond looking tears dropping onto the hard terrain.

“I’ll find you, someday. Just—,” The gunshots went off and people ran for them, “Go!” He screams, motioning her off and glancing at the incoming soldiers. He bared his fangs and turned around as the little girl did as her father instructed, ran until her little legs could take no more and life went on with her footsteps…
I'd like to read more
~Lili