Wow. Let me tell you something - you accomplished something amazing. My cat just died, and you actually made me smile. I have no more to say, except, keep writing, even if this was just supposed to be stupid.
modern sonnet.
To the jam of George's jelloed jet
To the sickness of my yellowed pet
If my snake has fangs that steal from jars,
Then I have no issues with moving to Mars
'Cause when reptiles eat from jelloed goo
Then it's gonna be one hell of a coup
It becomes much stronger than the Hulk!
And mass-deportations occur in bulk
Or, as they're called in the pet store:
The business is crazier than ever before
In the jello-shop they say as well:
We're havin' a boom, now ain't that swell?
The salesmen are dancing to a song by Adele
The salesgirls are buying all the stuff by Chanel
"You're welcome to try, if you can stand the smell.
Just one whiff, and you'll be under its spell."
Wow. Let me tell you something - you accomplished something amazing. My cat just died, and you actually made me smile. I have no more to say, except, keep writing, even if this was just supposed to be stupid.
Hey! Thought I would check this out because it's a modern sonnet and they can be quite unusual.
Anyway, I liked this. It was confusing to begin with but after a while I really managed to dig the wackiness.
It rhymed! Praise the heavens above! I literally cannot bear it when poems don't rhyme and it tends to stop me reviewing them, however, yours did, so yay!
I'm not entirely sure how to critique this. It makes no sense but that is part of the charming allure. I think the punctuation is great and it is an amusing and interesting poem.
In conclusion I don't think I have any critique for this but I do think it is a good poem and it is well written. The stanzas go well together and the punctuation adds to the originality of the poem.
Hey, Persistence! I saw your wall post so why not check it out, eh? ^.^
I'm glad I did. It's very funny especially the last few lines! Also was this the poem you said you were writing? Lol XD
The salesmen are dancing to a song by Adele
The salesgirls are buying all the stuff by Chanel
"You're welcome to try, if you can stand the smell.
Just one whiff, and you'll be under its spell."
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