z

Young Writers Society


12+

Once Was An Angel

by PapaSupremacy


One day at a park

Satan met a man feeding birds

It was almost dark

But this man wasn't following the herd

He wasn't out partying, he wasn't at the bar

He wasn't speeding around town in a fancy sports car

He wasn't at a club, he wasn't taking a hit

In a city full of pleasure, all he did was sit.

So Satan sat with the man,

He begun a conversation.

Began telling him the wonders

Of the city of sinful sensations.

"I once was an angel," he said.

"I know all the ins and outs.

If you just put your cares to bed

These will remove all your doubts.

There's no happiness in living right

There's no joy in those books

The only love is in ecstasy tonight

And this true joy will keep you hooked."

Satan showed him all the wonders

Of the city after dark.

All the sex, all the drugs,

All the joy of the prodigal hearts.

"I was once an angel," Satan said.

"I know the lies of God.

Let me remind you of the true happiness

That so many of us laud."

Through all the Devil's lofty words,

The man remained silent.

He broke bread, kept feeding the birds,

Until the Devil fell quiet.

"Well," Satan said, "What's your decision?

Will you stay here with the false promises

Or come with me and carnal sensations?"

The man stayed still, brushed crumbs off his lap,

And opened his mouth to speak,

"If a sinner is what you're after

Than I am the man you seek."

The Devil rejoiced and extended his hand

But his hand the man did not take.

"I am a sinner, the worst in the land,

But those sins I did forsake.

You were once an angel, Satan,

You know the ways of heaven.

Here's some news for you, my brother,

I was once a demon.

I was bound by the chains of Hell

And scorched by the fires of regret

I tried to rise but each time I fell

I felt more sure my place was set."

"How doomed was I,

Or at least I thought so,

To be crushed by the jaws of iniquity.

But through the bars of my prison,

I saw a holy Light,

A Light that began to redeem me.

It crushed the chains, the shackles, the bars,

That held bound my weary soul

Removed the cords from my broken heart

And made my joy truly full.

The prison walls fell around me

And my fellow demons ran,

For what they fear most of all

Is the power of the Son of Man."

"I thought the gates of Hell were closed

But through the Light they were open

And I walked out of Hell a free man

But bruised, battered, and broken.

He took me in, healed all my wounds,

But the scars of them still remain,

To remind me of sins to which I was bound

And to always keep clear of their stains."

The Devil stepped back, stunned to silence,

As the man fed birds again.

"You may have been an angel once," said he

'But I won't ever become a demon.

When I fall down, I know there's a Light

To wash away my pain

So try as you like, fallen brother of mine,

Never again will I take your chains."

The Devil withdrew, gnashing his teeth,

And cried, "I will never stop fighting."

"Neither will I," the man replied calmly,

"There will always be Light to fight with."


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6 Reviews


Points: 38
Reviews: 6

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Fri Jan 20, 2023 7:33 pm
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lubnafirdaus wrote a review...



Honestly, this poem left me speechless. I just can't process the number of emotions flowing through my head right now. I don't even know where to start cause this poem is a masterpiece. I don't have any criticism and I love the idea behind this poem. It's a well thought and well executed theme. The title is eye-catching as well and I personally feel sometimes the title plays a very important role and you nailed it!

A few of the lines got me and those were---
["I know the lies of God.

Let me remind you of the true happiness

That so many of us laud."]

The fact that you just showed reality in 3 lines just amazes me.

["I thought the gates of Hell were closed

But through the Light they were open

And I walked out of Hell a free man

But bruised, battered, and broken.]
These lines put me in deep thought and allowed me to reflect on my actions.

["You may have been an angel once," said he

'But I won't ever become a demon.

When I fall down, I know there's a Light

To wash away my pain

So try as you like, fallen brother of mine,

Never again will I take your chains."]

These lines were by far the highlight of the poem.

This might be one of the best pieces I have ever read!

Keep writing!
~Lubna






Thanks so much!! I'm glad you really liked this poem :)



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Points: 67
Reviews: 4

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Thu Jan 19, 2023 8:25 pm
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leiilan wrote a review...



I’ve just got to say that this is one of my favorite poems I’ve read, ever. I love the idea of a reformed demon resisting urges of temptation as he is the only one in the human world with concrete knowledge of what happens to those that sin. I also like the casualness of it all, like yeah, why not? Of course Satan takes strolls in the park for unsuspecting victims to lure to hell! Why wouldn’t he? You could’ve written this poem like any other, but I like the unique narrative approach to it much better than if it were to be structured otherwise.

I don’t even know where to begin with this, but I’ll just start with my favorite lines. The first lines I loved were:

[“So Satan sat with the man,
He begun a conversation.
Began telling him the wonders
Of the city of sinful sensations.
"I once was an angel," he said.
"I know all the ins and outs.”]

Even in such few words, it’s very easy to sort of sense (?) the temptation laced between each of Satan’s words. The, “I once was an angel” line is one I like in particular just because I feel that many people forget that part when discussing Satan. My other set of favorite lines would be:

[The only love is in ecstasy tonight
And this true joy will keep you hooked."]

It’s almost as if sinning is a drug, and to me this reveals a hedonistic nature of those residing in what I’m assuming is Earth in your poem which makes it that much more better. I can’t put my nose on it exactly, but the way you word things really emphasizes simple points. Like, instead of just an addicted society, I picture a stronger, more vivid image in the form of hedonism. Next up:

["If a sinner is what you're after
Than I am the man you seek."
The Devil rejoiced and extended his hand
But his hand the man did not take.
"I am a sinner, the worst in the land,
But those sins I did forsake.
You were once an angel, Satan,
You know the ways of heaven.
Here's some news for you, my brother,
I was once a demon.]

Loved, loved, loved this reveal. Like, I really loved it. I was so engrossed in the rest of the piece that I failed to even think about the possibility of the man being another divine being, let alone a reformed demon. My eyebrows raised the second I read it, lol. When you read the reveal then go back and read what came before, it really brings on a whole new perspective to it. And finally:

[The Devil withdrew, gnashing his teeth,
And cried, "I will never stop fighting."
"Neither will I," the man replied calmly,
"There will always be Light to fight with."]

What a perfect way to end. You can feel the frustration from Satan, and the sheer will radiating from both of them. I love the contrast between Satan’s and the man’s expressions.

Overall: This was simply amazing. Every word and line was written with care and intention and it shows. I cannot wait to read more from you.

Thank you for reading, have a good day/night, and happy writing!






Thanks for the review! This was really insightful! Thank you!



leiilan says...


Of course!



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6 Reviews


Points: 503
Reviews: 6

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Thu Jan 19, 2023 3:45 pm
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White123 wrote a review...



Hey here is a review


I firstly not read and like any poetry but now read your poem. This poem has a good or best theme. Satan always try to grap the attention of people. Satan always try to entangled all the people in sins. He never want that people do good deeds. When people do good he feels sad. The theme in the poem is so much beautiful that the man didn't follow the path of satan. He only follow the path of light which is basically the path of good deeds and also the path of Allah Almighty






Thank you for your review :)



White123 says...


Welcome



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941 Reviews


Points: 126
Reviews: 941

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Thu Jan 19, 2023 3:36 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



I love this poem! Yes, circumstance doesn’t matter. What matters is the person’s character and how they’ll handle the situation. Despite everything, the man decided to be as good a human being as he could be, even though it was easy for him not to. He didn’t listen to Satan’s words, he chose to fight with light. That’s really inspiring!

I really enjoyed reading this poem. I wish you a wonderful and lovely day/night.






Thank you! :) Your review really helped!




Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
— Thomas Edison