Chapter 1- The People We Become

The People We Become

My papers flew onto my messy room floor as I raged. I pulled at my hair before noticing what I was doing, I leaned back in my chair sighing. I stared at the ceiling. Studying was stupid. How was I supposed to remember three pages of history notes when my cramps kept reminding me they existed every five minutes? How could I forget- they were absolutely painful. I groaned looking around at my room, my mind was saying “ Clean.” “ Clean.” but my body was saying “ God no.” “God no.” I stood, determined to clean. Five seconds later, I flopped back onto my bed instead- grabbing my phone from the nightstand. I rolled onto my stomach- a comfortable position as I scrolled on Tiktok. The occasional funny videos making me laugh out loud then and there. I told myself I was just going to scroll for a few minutes. I don't know how much time passed, maybe an hour? Or two? I only noticed because my phone gave me an alert that it was almost dead and possibly the fact it was 12pm at night. I groaned thinking of how my charger was all the way downstairs on the couch. I sat my phone on the nightstand too lazy to go get the charger. I know I would regret it tomorrow but I was already half asleep before I could even battle myself. 

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    I sat at the kitchen table waiting for my mom to hand out the food along with the rest of my family: my 2 twin little brothers, and my dad. My dad turned to me, his mouth full of a cookie he snagged from the snack cabinet- “ How's school going for you, Noah?” I internally rolled my eyes not daring to do it where he could see. He always tried to make small talk, I opened my mouth but my mom beat me to it. “ Jacob have some manners. God a house full of boys and you can't be a role-model?” She laughed softly at her own joke before throwing a paper towel at him. I drank a sip of my water hoping the attention was done for me. Liam and Lucas- my twin brothers started arguing over how my dad had a cookie and they didn’t. I nearly choked on my water at my moms scolding face at my dad. I quickly swallowed my water before laughing. My dad turned to me mouthing: “ A warning next time?” I laughed more using my hand to stifle my loud laughter. I shaked my head no- “ Guess you should give them a cookie, Jacob.” I emphasised his name, I already used his name instead of- dad- in funny moments. He dramatically groaned causing the twins to burst into fits of giggles and my mom to roll her eyes. “Oh come on you slowpoke go ahead and get the twins cookie. This is your fault afterall” My mom said to him with a smirk on her face as she watched him slowly stand. “ Ah my back. I’m too old- I can’t do it” He said grinning and winking at the twins who were currently dying of laughter. I couldn’t hold back my own laughter either at my mom and dads playful conversations. 

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I came downstairs dressed and ready for the first day back to school after a long summer break. I paused at the bottom step watching my family eat- everyone laughing and eating breakfast. Everyone seemed to have forgotten I existed as they sat at the table already eating. Without me. No one looked up. As the middle child it was an everyday occurrence, you eventually get used to it though sometimes I still feel a sting in my heart- I don’t know what it means. You're in the middle of the oldest and youngest you don’t really get anything nice just hand me downs. But it's fine I would rather listen to music anyways than join their stupid conversations. They ate cereal- probably about for the 3rd week in a row. My mom struggled with money as an only parent- she makes good money but puts herself more. She's an addict spending her every single cent on drugs to make her forget her children even exist. I slipped out the door unnoticeable like every single day. My friends drove by in their lamborghina with the roof down as they laughed and hollered, waving their arms all up in the air as if they were famous or something like that at least. They slowed down when they noticed me walking on the sidewalk. They were known as the popular kids at school, well I guess I was too. It's not just what all the movies put it out to be. It didn’t really make your life any better. People worshiped you and split the hallway for you like the red but it just isn't what I really want in life. I don't want people to like me because of the fact that I'm popular. I got out of my own head when they laughed, gesturing for me to come in- lucas shouted: “ Yooo! Paisley get in my new birthday gift!” I forced a smile laughing as I hopped in the car along with the rest of them.