
Amassing stellar grades?
A๐D / O๐
Developing lifelong skills?
~
Ideally, it should beย
AND not OR.
But IRL, students focus on the formerย
and neglect the latter.
~
Four soul-sucking years later,ย
gilded chains now adorned their necks.
Those medals choked like a noose,ย
squeezing the last breath from their chests.
~
One narcissistic Facebook post later,
With a record number of likes on their new grad pic,
The illusion shattered.
~
They'd been released into a jungle -
Cast bare and naive into the savage wilds.
Prey for the wolves
of the REAL WORLD.
~
Panic flooded their veins.
The mental prison now a physical one.
Flight or fight kicked in, but they could do neither.
Frozen. Paralyzed. Caged and cornered.
~
They should have been
the apex predators.
Hunting, tracking,ย
stalking with skill and cunning.
~
Instead they cowered,ย
quivered, ran.
Pathetic preyย
in a competitive kill-or-be-killed jungle.
~
Clueless they stood.ย
Powerless.
Minds atrophied from disuse.
Hands too weak to grasp opportunity.
~
For they had become robots,ย
not humans.
Programmed achievement-seekers,ย
not free-thinking trailblazers.
~
In despair they grieved.
D๐n๐a๐.ย
A๐g๐r.ย
๐ตa๐g๐i๐i๐g.ย
๐ทe๐r๐s๐ i๐n.ย
๐ดc๐e๐t๐n๐e.
~
But left with no choice,
They will move forward in life
Onward they marched, not yet aware,
Blindly moving on through smoke and mirrors..
~
At journey's end,ย
a new degree was conferred.
Not one earned through years of diligent study.
But a title honed through hardship and failure:
~
Masters of improvisation, smoke and mirrors.
Conniving chameleons. Crafty pretenders.
Silver-tongued fakers flourishing by fluke.
_____
๐. ๐.
๐ฟ๐๐๐, ๐ผโ๐๐ ๐๐ โ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก โ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ข๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐ฆ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฃ๐๐๐ค ๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐ข๐๐๐๐ก๐ .
๐ท๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก?
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ.
๐ต๐ข๐ก ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐โ๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ก๐๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ .
๐ผ โ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐ฆ'๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐กโ ๐๐๐๐'๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐.
๐โ๐๐ก ๐ ๐โ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ก๐ข๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ โ๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ฆ, ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ก๐๐ฃ๐๐ก๐ฆ.
๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฆ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ก, ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐โ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก.
๐โ๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐ฆ โ๐๐๐, ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐, ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐.
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hiya! Ley here to review.<3
First impressions... This was a very unique take on the school systems and graduating classes. I can definitely agree with you that things need to change, as a college student myself. I also thought that the poem was formatted perfectly to fit the theme you set for the piece. Also, that AI art is super awesome. XD
When I was reading this I felt... Relatable, angry, oppressed. This poem made me realize what exactly these schools put us through-- they teach us meaningless things that we'll never use and then send us into the real-world to fail, in some cases. It's not the same for everybody, some people get happy endings, but it really only happens when you have connections out there. Most people don't have that luxury, though, so they're left to starve.
My favorite line/quote is...
I chose this quote solely to mention your use of personification in this poem! I think it's important to applaud the fact that you compared graduates to the food chain-- in an animalistic way. This last stanza was the perfect way to close out the poem and allow the reader to reflect!
Some things I would change would be... Nothing! I love this poem just how it is. You grabbed my attention, held it, and then left me thinking at the end. I wish more people understood how demanding and ruthless the school system can be-- or even society in general.
Overall... This was a lovely, yet intense, poem that left me in awe. I also really appreciate your author's note at the end. I like when writers do that. It gives the reader an insight on what the purpose was for this poem, or how your mindset was during the writing process. In all, this was wonderful, and I can't wait to read more of your work! Happy writing!
With Love,
Leya
Hello!!! Ellie here to leave a quick review. This was posted 2 days ago and hasn't been eaten up yet?? Wow, I'm a bit surprised... or maybe that's just college me in finals week speaking, haha XD Either way, I love this so so much.
Let's start right at the beginning. This caught my attention right away from the and/or question about grades and skills. I think that is a question all stressed college student ask themselves many times. And what you say in the second part is so true. It should be an and statement, but it's not. It often seems like we choose the easiest option that produce good grades over what actually helps us learn the most.
I love the rest of this poem, talking about graduates once they enter the real world. The lines, "Masters of improvisation, smoke and mirrors. Conniving chameleons. Crafty pretenders. Silver-tongued fakers flourishing by fluke." are amazing!! Wow conniving might just be added to my words to use list, haha. I love the comparison to chameleons as well.
Have an awesome day!
-Ellie Mae