Pain is unavoidable,
But we all learn to cope.
The suffering undeniable,
Yet we build bubbles of hope.
This one girl she’s crying,
No one hears her shout.
She feels as if dying,
Is her only way out.
She thinks of many ways,
To reach her destination.
She ponders for days,
And just like that her story ends,
With tears and devastation.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Thanks for sharing this poem about inevitable pain and suffering that's part of our human existence. Also true that very often we might find ourself shouting while others seem unconcerned about it. The poem seems to link that reaction to the girl's suicidal decision. Of course had she been offered some consolation or empathy by those who were supposed to show it, then she might not have reached that stage.
So very often, how we react to people in deep distress could mean life or death. The sadly ironic thing is that we are so unaware of the devastation that our unintentional cruelty might have on others. If we could only see the heavy burdens that others carry, then we would understand why they behave as they do. Unfortunately, we are limited and just see the outside. Based on the superficial appearance we sometimes misjudge others as being mere complainers, or having no valid reasons to feel as they do.
Suggestion
The poem initially says that we ALL learn to cope. Then it tells us that she didn't learn to cope. I am sure that "most"is what is meant. But it made me pause because it is not true and sounds judgmental.
The line is supposed to suggest how we all just assume others are fine but thank you for the feedback
This is a really good but sad poem about Pain.
Pain is Unavoidable, The suffering Undeniable... Nice rhyme.
She thinks of many ways, She ponders for many days...Got me in the Heart....
Its Nice,the Pattern is wonderful,
I Really love the Poem,Thanks a lot for sharing this.
Looking forward to see more of your poems
This is a really good but sad poem about Pain.
Pain is Unavoidable,
The suffering Undeniable... Nice rhyme.
She thinks of many ways,
She ponders for many days...Got me in the Heart....
I Really love the Poem,Thanks a lot for sharing this.
Looking forward to see more of your poems
Gosh, what a sad poem! Pain is unavoidable, it's true, and most of us learn to cope. We have to. The suffering undeniable, just part of the human condition. Yes, we build bubbles of hope. in ourselves, in each other, in creative pursuits (like this poem). Although this piece is bleak, there are points of light to be found somewhere:
-We all learn to cope
-Yet we build bubbles of hope
Keep on this train of thought, and maybe it won't end in tears and devastation...
Thanks for sharing,
-Dream
Maybe just maybe the ending will change.
Who knows?
I wrote the poem based on the fact a year or so I had a friend who tried to commit suicide luckily we were able to stop it but based upon their wishes we never spoke of the matter again. However, it left a lasting impression upon me that we do ignore indications that sometimes a person is not okay but it is not wrong to feel that way. To answer your following questions it is slightly based upon real feelings and struggles.
I did consider combining the two lines but I will definitely consider in future work.