Vain Pursuit - Part 1

by Omi1

Published March 18, 2014

E - Everyone

In Short Stories

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IF YOU WISH TO SKIP TO THE SHORT STORY I WROTE, PLEASE CONTINUE TO Vain Pursuit - part 2. THIS PAGE IS THE ASSIGNMENT I USED TO WRITE MY SHORT STORY...however, without this page, the story will lose most of it's meaning.

In school, I was given the 2010 Alberta diploma (personal response) as a practice. If any of you were given the same assignment, I hope this helps, but I'd also appreciate it if you would let me know how I did. And be tough on me, please. :)

So, in order to understand the meaning behind the short story I've written, you'd need to understand my assignment. I was given the poem "SWING VALLEY" by Frank Gaspar, and from it I had to write about someone's PURSUIT or COMPROMISE of happiness.

Here is the poem:

"Swing Valley" by Frank Gaspar

Oak or elm-I can't see it
Clearly anymore, but it was the tallest thing
In that hollow, and someone
Always managed to shinny up
To the farthest branch with the end
Of a tarred rope to knot there.
.
Swinging our we moved
From the side of one hill over
The blind rush of bramble
To graze the shoulder of the other bank
And arc back home again.
.
Summer, winter, summer, of course
Those old ropes rotted now and then,
And Carvalho rode on to a parting,
Flying down through the deep tangles, still
Sitting on the knot, his hands clutching
The rope as the bitter end
Trailed down like a plume of smoke.
.
We thought he was all right
When we heard the bushes moving,
And he was. The earth still loved us then,
And the sky watched over us
Just as in these stories we heard
About the miracles of the saints,
.
And a few days later we went up
With another rope, hawked
From the wharf after dark,
And one by one we ran it down,
Jumped the knot and swept
Across the hollow,
.
Feeling the release, and then the pull
Of what we already carried with us,
Gravity learning the measure
Of that unimagined freight.

Vain Pursuit - Part 2

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Iggy
Review
Iggy wrote a review Review · Mar 30, 2014

Hello! So I guess I'll treat this like a poem, eh?

Swinging our we moved


Swinging your what?


I think that was my only nitpick. This poem was nicely written. It did tend to be choppy, since some lines could have been combined and helped strengthen each other, but for the post part, the poem had a good flow. The message was a bit hard to understand, but maybe that's just because I'm tired xD

I like how you included a lot of details to enhance your poem and help create a mental image of the scene, especially with the narrator's actions. It added to the overall feel of the poem, which was that this was nicely written. I enjoyed it quite a lot and will review the actual short story itself to see how well you transitioned from a poem to prose! ^^

Omi1 replied · Apr 1, 2014

I'm sorry, but I didn't write the poem..... someone named Frank Gaspar did... :P

User avatar
liesgirl
Review
liesgirl wrote a review Review · Mar 22, 2014

I've read your other two parts, and they reflect well on the poem. I now see where the memory came from.
You may want to mention that the story, while understanding isn't reliant upon reading the poem, is embellished by an understanding of the inspiration. I understand that you said that later in this section, but you also said at the beginning that you could just skip.

Once again, great work on your story!

Omi1 replied · Mar 24, 2014

That's good to hear, I was worried nobody would notice how the poem and short story were related. :P



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