The crimson moon rises,
In the glen the fairies hiss.
Lurking shadows in disguises,
Gathered in the forested abyss.
And with a start she comes,
Elegant, graceful, and flamboyant.
A gentle tune, the satyr hums,
Prudent, intelligent, and clairvoyant.
Her shimmering glossy white fur,
The pearly sheen of her horn.
Not at all expressing demur,
Rather, the intrepid aura of a unicorn.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey, dbrick here for a review! The appeal of this poem was really in the structure, your use of words, and your eloquent conclusion to your poem. Like others have said, you didn't just choose big words that sounding intelligent but words that brought your poem to life in a very appropriate way. I am not one for unicorns and fairies (it's just not one of my top things to read about) but it was still an enjoyable poem. Props to you for taking a subject that doesn't necessarily appeal to all people (I am not bashing what you write about) and making it very engaging to read. I look forward to reading more of your writing!
Haha, funny thing is, that when I wrote this poem, I was trying to use as many big words as I could... Don't ask how that works....
Hai there! AlexSushiDog here to review your work!
First off, I am really impressed with the choice of adjectives, they seem really advanced and aren't just randomly picked out of your head. I also really like the rhyming structure of this and you have done well to keep the pattern the same by using unusual but effective words to suit the genre! I like how you made it seem magical but kind of grown up to!
To be honest I don't know where you could improve this but I have to agree with DreamWork: "The crimson moon rises" is a bit of a cliché. I can see that you could also easily expand this to multiple verses and I'm sure that people would still read it.
Overall, Great piece, seriously, for a first draft this is great!
I'm interested in what you can do next, so I'm following
Good job!
Lol, thanks for your review.
Hi there, this poem is so beautiful to me. You managed to express your imagination in this poem. With a picturesque, attractive and enthralling ways.
Nice opening as a fantasy poem. But I am not sure with the crimson moon, because it seems like a cliché.
Nice description. Just enough to let the reader pictures the unicorn.
I actually doubt about who is she really was. Is she a fairy that looks like unicorn or you are indeed give a picture of a unicorn?
Overall, really nice poem to read. I totally like the imagination you give here. Keep writing!
Kudos, cheers
Thanks!
I appreciate it.