Dear English,
Thank you for being one of the most spoken languages in the world- if not the most spoken language- because you bring everyone together with more ease, and people from different countries can now interact in a language that has become universal. However, every good thing comes with a bad thing, but you come with several. I, as a foreigner, have a lot of problems with many of your words, whether it's a spelling problem or a pronunciation problem.
Let me tell you some things to illustrate my point. First of all, why would we write "full of wonder", and yet when we put it in one word it becomes "wonderful", missing an "l". How will one letter change your word? Why use the same pronunciation for "to", "two" and "too"; or "their", "they're" and "there"? Are there really no other options? And where did all the silent "h"s come from? Did you not know where else to put them, so you decided put them in random words like "rhythm"?
Although, I must admit it, spelling is one thing you get used to. Pronunciation, on the other hand, is confusing to a whole new level. There should be simpler rules, so that the "eo" sounds exactly the same in the words its in, so we don't have it sounding like "ee-o" in geology but "eh" in "jeopardy"; like "uh" in "does" but "oh" in "goes". I do not want a double O sounding differently in "book" and "bloom". Why does "dizzy" sound like "busy", and why does "Geist" sound like "Christ"? How come I get laughed at, if I pronounce the "i" in "win" like "ee", but there is no rule that prevents "ghoti" from being pronounced "fish"?
You will possibly come forth with some strange rules to explain all of this, but I know there are many that think the way I do.
Yours truly,
Odd.
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139,787 Literary Works • 672,768 Reviews
Hello, Odd! Yes, this is about three days old and I am only NOW coming to review it.
I have to say, I found this pretty darn hilarious. I've grown up speaking English and I've always read books, but I still suck at pronouncing things correctly. Heck, even other languages I pronounce things wrong. It was kind of funny to see you mock English for being so complicated and having such unnecessary rules. I loved the way you addressed this in a letter as well. It was a rather creative form of satire.
I usually love your works and this proved to be yet another favorite of mine. You're a really good author and I can seriously see you being an author or making a career out of your writing.
Wonderfully written! ~Prez. T
Hey there!
WOW. I can simply say this only because you've perfectly shown your curiosity, questions and frustration in this passage! some of the things you've mentioned here are quite difficult to decipher because its the way it is, it might be difficult but its quiet understandable and easy to speak and if we keep looking in the blunders of English we'll find many of them. Everything comes with difficulty and same goes here. If you're having problem with pronunciation of words which include O then you surely need to understand it a little more clearly because its not that difficult if you've understood the meaning and accent of every alphabet. I really like the way you was very confident inn your writings. Keep writing, thank you.
Thank you for the review.
Hi! Holly here for a review!
First off, welcome to Young Writers Society!
I love your username!
It was a good read and I enjoyed it.
I could kinda relate because I'm Hawaiian and it took me a while to understand English.
I'm going to let Forgotten Memories do the nit-picky stuff though.
I noticed some grammatical mistakes so it had me doing double takes more than you would probably want me to.
I think that if you read it out loud before you publish it, it would lead to less grammatical mistakes.
Very few spelling mistakes but one again, proofread!
Just be sure to notice these things next time!
I hope that I'm not sounding to harsh...
I can't wait for more of your work!
Hi Odd! (I keep wanting to call you Ood)
I was looking for something for my second-to-last review until my next star and saw that you'd posted another work. Yay!
As it's an essay (and humorous at that) I think I'll start with the grammar first...
I noticed this right away and wasn't sure if you said "languages" in reference to there being different dialects of English, from American to British to Australian. But then I saw the next line use "language", singular, so I assumed that the plural version before was a mistake.
Depending on, if I was writing this, whether I wanted it to be formal or not, I would've written this as "However, whereas every good thing comes with a bad thing, you come with several" or some variation of that sort. Even a simple "where" before "every good thing" would make the sentence smoother.
The "its" here should be "it's", easy fix.
In conclusion, I concur! English can be a confusing language at times, and it's my native language so I can only imagine what troubles foreign speakers have with it. However, I feel the same way towards Spanish.
Why have a different word for something that's close to you, close to the person you're talking to, and then for something far from both of you?
Then on top of that you pour masculine and feminine nouns onto them so that, if you're a dude, you say the words differently than a girl would. You just made at least 6 extra words, all meaning similar enough things that it would be easier to have one word!
Sorry, I'm rambling
But seriously, great job, I really enjoyed your view on this topic and I hope to see more writing from you, whether it's an essay, a short story, or a humorous/satirical poem (and I don't even like poems!) I'll be keeping an eye out.
Keep writing!
-Jules
Hello Jules, thanks for this review. It was helpful. Also, congratulations on reaching your second star! And yes, I know Spanish may be confusing, but you'll get it eventually. Although if you think Spanish is hard, you should try learning German aha. Now that is complicated. But thank you!
Something I wanted to read from quite a long time. I wonder where you got the inspiration to write this one! I have already seen similar articles being on the internet too.
Anyway, let's dig into this one first!
I, as a non-native speaker of English, have the same feelings like you have. I do get confused over these really basic things (and believe me, I feel really dumb sometimes too!).
Some nitpicks, or call them the way I would have written this article, are as follows:
Wait!? Losing doesn't seem a right word to me in this type of a situation. Why not try "missing"?
Now, in articles, you cannot use informal words such as gonna, wanna or stuff! Also, the sentence seems kinda odd to me. I cannot figure out how to correct it but it just doesn't look that well to me.
Same word? I think you wanted to say the same pronunciation or something, right?
What do you mean? This sentence left me confused! I seriously can't understand the meaning of what you said here.
That last paragraph made me laugh. Well done on this article. It was something I really wanted to do from quite a long time already.
I am sorry if I sounded harsh (or stupid).
Good luck and keep writing. You are great!
Thank you Don! (Can I call you Don?) I'll make some changes later, this helped me. And don't worry, this didn't sound harsh or stupid. Thanks!
You can call me Usman. That username is kinda childish now. haha
I've got to change it now.