I have returned to the place that I used to call home, the place which I left with my head bowed and avoiding eye contact from the people I have known for so long. Society had greeted me warmly since the beginning, but I was driven away by the dark thoughts that swirled inside my mind and made blue skies seem like tormenting clouds. Thinking that I was not good enough, never would be.
It was as if I slowly faded away, showing my face only on strange occasions, but coming back whenever I felt homesick. However, I needed to take a distance and change my perspective. I needed to embark on a journey that would take me elsewhere, and take a leap of faith into the hands of the vicissitudes of fate. I grew up and changed, having seen so much more of what was out there, yet knowing that being back home would help me grow and expand like nothing else could.
But I couldn't return and be the same man I once was. I had changed, but coming back to my old reputation with my old name could not possibly work. So I decided to embrace the change, despite the fact that the original version of myself would be forgotten, lost forever in all but the memories of those who cared. I designed a new persona for myself. A dark figure that would roam around, but instead of casting fear, I aspired to cast awe and inspiration. I will hide behind the mask of the oddity of a character that I have created for myself, but I will thrive in what I do, flourish like a late bloomer whose outstanding talents have remained hidden most of his life. And life will continue. The people will get used to the newest addition in their society and I will get used to living with them in my new skin.
Brace yourselves, for I have returned, determined and stronger than ever.
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,820 Reviews
This was a very effective short. That made me want to read on. The idea of reancarnation is used well here as well as the knowledge that you have recieved. The character is made an important jewel that beholds life's unanswered secrets that people would do anything to get their hands on. But of course this is all within, it is not his actual body that has twisted into a new form - it is his soul which is an even more effective aspect to this 'rebirth'. I like how you have a brief description as it leaves so many open questions for the reader to ponder over setting their imaginations wild. Last of all the tital is quite clever and I apreachiate how interesting it is and how it reflects the story well. Just make this a little longer and it will be perfect. -Marshymallow
Thanks a lot Marshymallow!
You want a review? I am sure you do. So, let's go and review this cute, little short story of yours!
Keep up the good work.
Firstly, I really appreciate your attempt to find such a great title to your short story. It was really a good title and it attracted me to read what's hidden inside of it. I always suggest others to give a really attractive title to your work so that people get attracted to it. Well done! You did it nicely.
It was good - not the best, or bad, but good! It could have been made better, I know! It could have been written a little longer to describe the situations nicely. You should try to write and describe more stuff in it.
The ending paragraph was a little too short too. I am hoping you to write a little longer because short stories tend to go further to like a 1000 words. Your one was roughly 300 words or so... maybe!
Since it's the start, I am hoping you would learn and improve a lot. So well done on this one and keep writing.
Lastly, welcome to YWS. I hope you have a great time here. Do message me whenever you need anything. I'd love to help. Thanks for sharing your amazing work
Thank you kindly for the review and the warm welcome.
My first review,
I must say, this, I feel, is a somewhat different prologue then my expectations precieved. I enjoy the sensation you have created of having the reader know the character, it leads my mind to wonder about of what will transpire later in the story. I feel as though I know a large quantity of the characters life, already leading me to make connections with myself.
Now, I understand this is a prologue, and a different one at that, however I am slightly put off by the lack of detail, by that I mean the lack of setting, {Why has this man returned home?} {What has led him to change?} {Where is he?} And I do suppose leaving these unanswered makes a reader long for the answers so they will continue reading. Just a thought. Overall description, creating of character, is well done, with a balanced level of information.
I will conclude in saying that I find this an interesting, mysterious, foundation of a novel/story, one that, through the lack of setting I am drawn to.
I'm ready for more,
-{Zyox}-
Thank you Zyox. This helps, although even though I named it prologue, it isn't the prologue to a novel, but rather the beginning of the character's new life, hence the word "Prologue" in the title. However, this isn't the beginning of a story so much as it is an individual idea that ran through my head that I wanted to write. Thank you nevertheless.
Ah! I understand now! I apologize for my misdirection of the review I gave.
Now that I understand the meaning behind your piece I will gladly state I do find this thoroughly an excelling piece. And a thought of writing you have more of to come.
-{Zyox}-
No need to apologize. But thank you.