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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Beautiful! I'm not going to make this long.
1. The stanzas were non-existent I think you should make this proper:
She never stayed still
For long
She knew she had to keep moving,
But where?
Treading on the same old
Paths that she'd seen others follow,
Tiny red legs click-clacking on the gravel,
Black eyes no larger than the infinitesimal red spot
On the white shell
That was her home
But that constricted her.
She moved on but feared moving out
For no other shell was the right fit
For her;
Until she met another,
A hermit, if you will
When she saw the weight of his heavy shell
And wondered how one could bear so much,
He said,
"It's the weight I choose to bear
And not that which was imposed on me."
He showed her the ways in which he existed
The ways in which she used to look at and marvel
And maybe shake her head
Because she knew she could never reach them.
But he took her with him.
Claw in claw, they walk their own path now;
They do not follow the old trails,
But leave their own
And leave the rest to wonder.
Kay? I thought the poem was really touching, and in truth, it reminded me of crabs, especially that last part. In fact, is it supposed to be crabs?