My Fairytale Family
Once upon a time there lived a family. It was a big family, with eight children. It had four little boys and four little girls.
This
family was great
at pretending. The children would love to play pretend. They
would often play it all day long. Sometimes they would be cowboys and Indians
or knights and princesses. They would even pretend they were slaves in Egypt
working for a great Pharaoh.
The parents in this family would also play pretend, but theirs was a different type. They would pretend that everything in their life was fine, if not perfect.
And
after a while the children in that family would start playing that type of
pretend as well. And it wasn’t long before they were all playing the game. They
never had any problems to discuss. Instead they were always fine. Nobody ever
felt hurt or lonely. Well, at least, that’s what they tried to make everyone
around them believe. At times they were so good that they would fool each other
and sometimes they would even fool themselves. They were a Fairytale Family;
perfect looking on the outside but in the end they were fake and untrue.
And that fairytale family was mine.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This was quite an interesting read there. Nice little twist there at the end...and well quite a deep message hidden in there as well with the whole pretending...not quite what I was expecting considering the very innocent sounding start this had.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...well that's a fairly decent little start there, definitely gives off that whole fairytale vibe there with the whole once upon a time thing...and then the whole pretending part...and the children playing around pretending to be all sorts of things sounds fairly innocent and fun so far...although the way this fairytale started here kind of indicates the parents also play pretend and that's probably not going to be at all innocent.
Yup...that is what I was afraid of...that...does not bode well there.
Well...that ended on a very dark note there....that's just the worst situation that you could possibly have with a family and then once you add in that last twist there at the ending, it just all becomes quite horrible, quite fast there...oh dear....that is definitely not good at all...well..on the other hand....lovely surprise there at the ending.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Well...that was an interesting fairytale shall we say...definitely seems like quite the family there that one...well...an intriguing tale of pretence there shall we say and that should be all I've gotta say for today.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Wow. This is simply amazing!
It almost reminds me of a poem in the end. (No idea why 
)
I do think that you could put a comma after outside, just to make it flow a little better. 
I like how you described your family to a Fairytale. This was simply put, and wonderfully written! Keep writing! 
"They were a Fairytale Family; perfect looking on the outside but in the end they were fake and untrue.
And that fairytale family was mine."
AMAZING!!
"sometimes they would even fool themselves."
Isn't this sad. You fake so much, you fool your own self. Beautifully written. I love it!
-SnazzyPencil
Haha thanks
This is amazing x I love how I can reflect to the story as I used to love to play pretend and do role plays. I think my favourite thing about this would have to be how the parents play pretend as well! I like how you have summed up almost everyones child hood in a few paragraphs. Now this my friend is a short story
Well done
Godly
Thanks
That was amazing. I could picture everything you said. The language is simple, but still so deep. Great job! =)
I'm glad you liked it
Wow....
so short, but so good, I love it. It makes you remember of when you were younger, and what it was like, it makes you smile, then bang, its sad, and I feel so bad.
I love every bit of it, then I hate the end (in a good way) I want to know why it is like this and why it is a fairy tale. And why they are untrue. though one question what is it with the START and GREAT think, its odd ha-ha. you seem to hit the spot in this story, you could write a hundred pages to describe why, but you write like the paragraphs and its better and I love it. Thumbs up!!!!
Jack
Thanks so much XD