16+ Language Mature Content

Not Enough Pills | Chapter 1

by Nike

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.

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Her name was still haunting my mind as I drove down the highway, the wind blowing through my hair. Some music was blasting on my radio, but I wasn't really listening. maybe it was because of the wind being so loud, or my mind racing with her image in my head.

The cars around me drove fast, passing me like maniacs. I wasn't in the mood to speed today, so I kept at fifty-five/mph and found my way to my exit, Harlem. It was time to live my life so I was headed to a local Hookah bar with my friends. They went to college with me. I drove down the exit, reaching Harlem. The lights went green on the intersection, so I drove straight down the street. The place was far off, a seven minute drive. It passed the Harlem Foster plaza.

It was around seven at night, so the sky was a beautiful navy color. I had my sunroof open, so I looked up ever once in a while just to indulge in the beauty. I looked at the road, happy to see green lights my way. Some cars were driving past, racing somewhere. Some people didn't know how to calm down. Especially on the road. Shake my head.

Finally. I took a left turn and found myself at Prince Hookah. There was one spot available for my BMW Beamer. It was a 2001 model, so it was more reliable than the ones they make now. I believe in old cars. I shut the car off and hopped out, feeling the intense Chicago summer heat cover me.

I walked into the hookah place and automatically felt sick. Smoke didn't go down well with me, but, hey, at least it smelled nice. Walking up to the hostess, who was standing at the back of the almost empty place, I flashed her my ID and she let me go. Before I left though, I caught her checking me out, which I didn't blame her for. I gave her a wink and found my way to my friends table.

They were sitting on this leather couch. It was wearing out around the edges, but still worked. I took a seat in this outdoor metal chair that was across from the couch. The table had a grand hookah on it, two pipes sticking out of it.

"Good to see you, Cody." my friend, Alan said.

He had a buzz cut, but you could still see the blonde hair. The reason for it? Just cause he looks like a fifth grader who has his mother cut his hair if he had it any longer. He looked like a chubby kid, but taller and grown up.

"I feel welcomed." I smiled at my friends.

There was also Tyler, a handsome chap from Spain, and Jacob, the Polak. Jacob reminded me of those Polish soccer players that are always on TV. I was Polish too, but I definitely looked different. In our group, Tyler was the foreign one. You always needed one of those olive skinned dudes with the accent that made all the girls swoon.

A girl walked past our seats and looked at Tyler. He winked at her, standing up from his seat and following her. I watched them for a little, seeing how slick her was with the talking and the eye contact. It made the girl blush as she twisted her hair around her finger.

"Oh, look who decided to show up!" I heard a familiar voice from behind me.

Turning my head, I saw Jacob's sister, Clara. She was one of the guys, literally. I caught her magnificent blue eyes looking at me for a moment too long before she sat down next to me on the other metal chair. She was a beautiful girl, and it always surprised me when she said she never had a guy even ask her out.

"It's always nice to see you, Claire." I smirked.

She gave me a disgusted look and playfully hit my arm.

"Don't call me Claire, you know I hate that." she huffed.

Tyler jumped down on the couch in front of me and flashed me a post-it note. It had a number written in black ink. I gave him a high-five as he saved the number onto his phone.

I smiled, pulling Clara into a weird side hug. She pulled away and I caught her cheeks redden. Looking back at the guys, I saw each one of them on their phones. Alan was laughing to himself as he stared at his phone, Tyler was licking his lips, and Jacob was texting. I looked back at Clara and gave her that look. The look we both shared when this stuff happens. She stifled a laugh and took her phone in her hands, pretending to be one of them. I laughed, looking back at the guys. They looked at the both of us and gave us confusing faces.

Jacob was with one of the pipes and Tyler was with the other one. Clara put her iPhone back on the table and watched the guys regain to life.

"You want it?" Jacob asked me. Of course he didn't want to give it to me, but I nodded and he rolled his eyes, handing it to me across the table.

I took the pipe in my hand, putting the top into my mouth. Breathing in, the smoke surrounded my mouth. I let it out, watching the smoke drift off above me. It tasted like mangos and mint, which was one of my favorite flavors. My insides felt relaxed as I breathed it in again.

When I set the pipe in my hands, I caught Clara give me a look. She was the one who didn't smoke and didn't like it when anyone did. She respected it. I bet she would smoke if she could. She's really bad a hookah. Her disappointment shaped her soft face. She gave that look to her brother every time he put the pipe to his mouth. I smiled, handing her the pipe, she waved her hand sin front of her face, telling me no. Taking it back, I took another hit.

"So, Cody. How's that bar going? Getting good tips? How 'bout the ladies?" Alan went on, curious.

I looked at him, giving Tyler the pipe. He took it, laying his head back against the wall behind him. Alan waggled his eyebrows. Uh. This guy.

"It's going good. I got enough tips this week..." I skipped the ladies part.

"Cool, cool. How about the ladies?" he still pushed it.

Alan put his pipe into his mouth and took a long drag, blowing out what he thought would be circles. Though, were circles in the fail. I looked at Clara and saw her talking with Tyler and Jacob. I was so used to us exchanging looks, it kind of felt empty when she didn't look back. So, I faced Alan again and cleared my throat. Oswin. That's the girl I only thought about when he said ladies, but I couldn't tell him about her. It's not his business.

"Yeah, a lot. You should stop by, maybe you'll get one." I smirked.

Clara tapped me on the shoulder. I faced her and saw my car pulling out of the parking lot. Jumping out of my seat, I scrambled to the door and ran after the car. I heard people run behind me as I ran. The cold air pushed against me, but I pushed myself.

"You piece of shit!" I yelled to the air.

The car already blended in with the traffic on Harlem, so I couldn't do anything but call the police. I turned on my heel and saw all my friends, except for Alan, staring at the road behind me. I took a few deep breaths t calm my hearts' speed.

"I'll just call the cops then." I sighed. Clara gave me an apologetic look as she walked over to me, wrapping her arms around me. She smelt of roses, which sort of surprised me. I hugged her back, feeling the comfort I needed. "I just can't believe someone would jack my car like that. How did they do it?" I asked.

Jacob walked up to me with the phone to his ear. Looks like he's trying to hit someone up.

"Okay, you know how his car looks?" Jacob said into the phone. "Great, great. Send as many people as you can." and he put the phone into his pocket.

"You call the cops. I got a couple of people making rounds to stop him." he said.

I gave him the best thankful smile I could. Clara pulled away and walked to Tyler. Something about them standing together like that tipped me off. There was a distance they took that made them look closer to each other. It was unnerving. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and dialed the three numbers to emergency services.

"Hello, this is emergency services. How may we help you?" a robot voice said.

"This is Cody Abridge. Someone just stole my car."

"Can we have your location?"

"Prince Hookah on Harlem and Irving."

"And may we have the description of your car...?" I don't know why this lady was so calm. Maybe because she was working and I had the missing car.

As I explained everything to her, the group led me back inside the bar. We sat down in the same spots we were at as I spoke to the lady. I was worried, of course I was. I needed my car back. How could someone just steal something like that? Don't they feel sick about it? I don't understand. I guess that proves I'll never rob.

Once the conversation was finished, I hung up and shut my eyes for a moment. My brain was clear for a few moments as I calmed myself down. Even the music didn't phase me. When I opened my eyes again, I stood up from my seat and slid on my coat.

"Where are you going?" Alan asked from behind me.

I faced him and smiled.

"You wouldn't be going home yet. You have no way." he added.

"I'll take the bus." I said.

Clara then looked at me with a look of concern shaping her face. She was literally the girl of the group, the mother even. She cared a little too much about everyone but herself, I didn't blame her. So I knew what she was going to say.

"I'm fine, don't drive me." I told her.

Her cheeks got a light pink, but she stood up with her purse at hand.

"I will drive you. I know you're 'big boy' and all... but I'd feel better if I drove you." she said with a stern tone.

"Ohhh, looks like someone has a crush." Alan laughed.

Alan has pissed me off since day one. He doesn't understand chivalry or kindness or being comfortable. He accused Clara of loving him one day. And he got pissed when she kept on being in denial about it. The truth was she didn't like him. She never did, not even as a friend. She only stuck around because of her brother. Which I don't understand till this day.

Right when he blurted those words out, Clara gave him a glare and pulled my arm, taking me out of the bar. She couldn't defend herself, that was her problem. She'd defend everyone but herself.

We walked back into the cold and toward her Jeep Wrangler. It was parked next to the spot my car used to be. She unlocked it and we both hopped in. The car was cold, so we waited a while to heat up the engine. Of course it was awkward, but I dealt with it, I can tell she was trying with the whole not looking at me tactic. She turned on the radio and pulled out of the lot, back onto the street.

"God, I hate Alan." she huffed once we were on our way.

"Why do you hang out with him then?" I asked.

She took a second to answer, blinking. Her eyes were focused on the road as she took her time to think of something to say.

"Well, when I hang with you guys... I kind of have no other choice." she looked at me, then back at the road. "He's always there, you know? So I can't do anything but bear it."

I nodded, looking out the windshield. The snow bounced off of it as she drove. It looks like there will be at least a good foot of snow by the morning. Good ol' Chicago. The cars in front of us came to a stop, so Clara slowed down as well.

"Do you know how it feels to be in his place?" it sounded like she's been thinking about what to say for these past minutes.

Shifting in my seat, I looked at her for a moment, noticing how nervous she was. Was it safe for her to drive if she were this nervous? I don't know. I don't think she would if she was that nervous. So it should be fine. I felt an awkward tension drown on me as I stared out the window. All I wanted to do was jump out of this car because of it.

"In Alan's place?" I asked her.

She nodded, as if knowing I was looking. But then she gave me a short glance just to make sure I saw.

"Well, no. And I'm happy not to. Who'd wanna be such a weird person like he is? He doesn't know how to be a person."

She sighed, starting to drive again. It took her a while to reach my house, but once she did, I sighed in relief. Sitting in this car was like sitting in a sauna with your PE teacher. Parking on the side of the curb, she put the car in park and smiled at me.

"Thanks for driving me even though I told you you don't have to." I said.

"Aye, I bet you would do the same." She replied.

Now something told me to hug her. We didn't hug much, and when we did it was just because I was that happy or we didn't see each other in a while. I hugged her earlier cause I haven't seen her in two weeks. But she drove me, so I probably should. It was a nice thing for her to do. But then she shifted in her seat and faced straight again, making it impossible for me to hug her. I sighed, opening the door.

"Seriously, thanks." I told her before I jumped out.

She gave me a smile and waved. "You owe me one."

I laughed, shutting the door behind me.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
harrington
Review

Hi there,

Like GreenTulip said, it was a tiny bit on the boring side but it wasn't THAT bad. I actually really liked the idea of it, but I didn't feel like it was going anywhere, especially during the end.

You need to add something else interesting, maybe reveal something about a character or create mystery/suspense. At the moment, all I get is this half self-obsessed 21+ year old who likes to smoke Hookah with his friends, even though he hates the way it makes him feel sick.

Overall, it's actually well written in the sense that your grammar and punctuation is good. Your writing style is also well received and consistent throughout. A writing style is one of the hardest things to master, so it's really impressive that you've got that already.

Was the detailed description of the car really needed? If cars are important, make that more explicit. Also, you say his friend gets all the girls, but pretty much straight before, someone flirted with him and he winked back. If there's going to be a player in the group, decide who.

I would also consider giving it a title to draw the reader in, maybe a synopsis so we've got something to look forward to. So, why is he trying to fit in? Is Oswin important? Should we know who she is before the characters do?

Anyway, keep writing though, because the more you write, the more it'll improve. I think it just needs to be sped up a bit. At the end, there was nothing to make me want to read on, it wasn't a cliff hanger or anything. Consider putting one in if need be. It's got good potential, you just need to chip into it a little more, that's all.

Good job,

H.L.P

Thanks for the review! I edited the chapter, I'd love it if you checked it out!

User avatar
GreenTulip
Review

This Chapter really didn't keep my attention after I read the first few paragraphs. It got boring, to be honest. If there was some way that you could make it more exciting to read that would do the trick. Never be to exciting as it drives away readers but also never be to dull while writing as when you publish it, it will detrack reader's from it. From the point he meets with his friends I was unable to read further because it no longer held my attention.

Thanks for the review! I edited the chapter, I'd love it if you checked it out!



Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.
— Poe